Talk:List of Popotan episodes

B class review

 * B1 Third paragraph of lead requires citations for each fact.
 * B2 Aim for 100 to 250 word summaries (But keep each summary's length consistent).
 * "Setting and plot" It might be a good idea to move this section to the main article. It is somewhat unusual to have this in a episode list, and the main article's anime section requires expansion.

Regards, G.A.S talk 05:20, 2 December 2008 (UTC)


 * After discussioning it at WP:ANIME and being directed to WP:VN I was told if the anime and manga differ so much then then information on the anime should be in it's own article. Unfortunately, all the examples they gave either were much more similar to the anime or were more divorced. I was thus left without any recourse by to be bold and ignore general guidelines because of the unique situation the anime has. じん    ない   07:06, 2 December 2008 (UTC)


 * No problem:) In this situation, you already have an anime section within the main article, so it would have made sense to include this information there.
 * The lead of this article is very long; it may make sense to split some of it out into a new section. While this example is distinctly different, it might provide an alternative to the current layout of the article Smallville (season 1); in any case, you would likely have to experiment a bit to get the layout "just right".
 * Regards, G.A.S talk 07:31, 2 December 2008 (UTC)

...carrying on
Per your request to respond here after the recently archived FLC, here are some more comments.

The episode summaries still need some work. Copyediting and break up some long sentences e.g.

There a quite a few more examples
 * "When he goes to confirm his suspicions, Keith, a Guide under Shizaku, intercedes when Ai doesn't know how to react and gets him to leave without any fuss from Ai who is smitten with Keith" - long and fairly incomprehensible
 * "Having had a terrible experience with the two brothers in the past where they burned their mansion down rather than continue when the older brother failed to come back with any answers" - long and difficult to understand
 * "Daichi wakes up lying a dandelion field" - lying in a
 * "she is loathe to" - loathed

Other things.
 * "In addition, these discs came with a promotional figurine of one of the girls" notable or referenced
 * "Unlike the Japanese DVD releases, the English ones had no promotional content." cite?
 * "concept by Akio Watanabe,[3] was developed by Shaft, directed and storyboarded by Shinichiro Kimura, and written by Jukki Hanada under the alias, Poyoyon Rock" - according to the ref Poyoyon Rock is the alias of Watanabe not Kimura.

With regard to the reference issue I raised at FLC, the guideline says to use these with other sources – "confirm these with a second source". So standing on their own they are still unreliable. I'm fine with them being used as WP:NONENG, but this should accompany another reliable source. Rambo's Revenge (talk)  23:07, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * I finally managed to track down a copyeditor who is still, I beleive, in the process. I will check things over once I he has finished or several days have passed with no word. じん    ない   00:50, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * I cited the figurines and corrected the alias so that it is associated with the right person now. I am not sure how I am suppose to prove a negative for the 2nd one though since no commentary says "they did not include the figurines from the Japanese version".
 * EDIT: I added a cite from the DVD liner notes (which i did check myself) so that should cover the staff. じん    ない   21:49, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * I believe all the sourcing concerns have been addressed. じん    ない   05:21, 24 January 2009 (UTC)

Translation issues January 2009
Since yesterday, I have been editing the article by request. I am grateful for the barnstar that was awarded me. I would also like to make that I am enjoying helping with this article, despite anything I have written below.

Here, I would like to bring to your attention that the current article contains confusing points that can only be explained by the authors/editors, probably only by Japanese speakers. From the perspective of language science, there is an intellectual delight in the contrast between the very high grammatical sophistication of the English used, on the one hand, and the unfortunate word choices and a certain lack of common sense in the composition, on the other hand. By the latter, I'm referring to the fact that certain plot points need to be explained, but the article's editors have not realized the need for the explanations.

To begin with, somebody needs to explain the significance of the word "popotan". Either it is a meaningless word invented by the protagonists for their amusement, or it is a genuine Japanese word. (You didn't even mention its origin in tanpopo — I'm the one who added that information, which I had to seek out. I navigated to the Japanese Wikipedia article. But I would not have achieved the insight if I had not remembered seeing the move "Tampopo" 20 years ago! Somewhere in that movie, or else in some reviews of the movie, the meaning of the word "tampopo" was explained for the non-Japanese viewers.) Either way, non-Japanese would have no idea, and therefore right from the beginning they miss some of the meaning of this story. If popotan is an invented word, what is its significance? Is it pure childish nonsense, or is there something meaningful to a Japanese about that sequence of three syllables?

In later episodes, there is a character whose name is spelled two ways in this article, Shizuku and Shizaku. Only a fan of this anime, or else someone who reads Japanese (and hence can perform research) could know which is correct.

For the description of episode 1, I changed the phrase, "Daichi, a young boy, meets the three sisters, Ai, Mai, Mii and thier maid, Mea, traveling in the mansion". It now looks like my change was incorrect. The editors seem not to realize that if you read this description and you are unfamiliar with the anime, you would not even imagine that there is a building which is flying through space and time like an airplane. To a native speaker of English like me, this wording has two possible likely interpretations: (1) people traveled TO the mansion, and arrived there; (2) the action in the episodes unfolds as the protagonists MOVE ABOUT WITHIN the mansion — in which case "travel" is a mistaken word. Only when I proceeded to edit Episodes 7-12 did I realize the supernatural behavior that takes place in this anime. You need to explicitly give this information.
 * Thank you for the detailed reply. First off, I'd like to state that the meaning of Tanpopo is explained on the main article's page Popotan. I did not think, this being a spinout article, that it needed to necessarily be explained. Second, I believe the name "Shizuku" is correct and I'll go and edit that. I will comment look more closely and consider what you, and the other member here have said about the what needs to be done and how to do it. じん    ない   08:38, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

For episode 5, it was written, "At the end of the episode Mai and Mea return to a hot springs claiming to be increase bust size". The 'be' doesn't belong. Now, my understanding, judging from the illustration, is that these girls are only about 7 or 8 years old. Why would they be eager to "return to a hot springs claiming to increase bust size"? You should add a mention of how old these girls are.
 * I have addressed the issue of Mai's relative age (her exact age is never given). however I am not sure what to due with Mea since her age is not given, but by the depiction she is clearly of at least young adult age. じん    ない   20:53, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

For episode 6, I simply deleted the following sentence: "After determining that the reason for the unusual circumstances for their jump was that Mai was still close by from a flower". There are two problems with it. First, the mention that some "jump" took place comes out of nowhere — no one would know what you're referring to. Second, the sequence "close by from" is nonsense. "Close by something" makes sense, so does "from something". "Close by a flower" is incorrect English, but it makes sense: we would interpret it as "right next to a flower or almost right next to a flower". But no one can understand what the connection is between being next to some flower and "unusual circumstances of some jump".
 * I reinserted a modified version of the sentence that I hope makes more sense as well as making what happened more clear. じん    ない   21:05, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

For episode 8, the use of a single word, "determined", spoils an entire sentence. "Her grandfather, the Shinto priest who trains Nono, is very strict and doesn't like her practicing non-Shintoist ways, especially because earlier she had been so determined. Nono can't seem to ignore the temptations of the mansion's Christmas shop and continually goes over there until after Nono's wishes, Mii gets the girls to place Christmas decorations on the shrine." The choice of 'determined' is erroneous, but because of the set of disparate meanings of that word, it is impossible to figure out the intended meaning. "Determined" in this construction ought to mean "insists on doing something", which raises the mystery, what was she determined to do?. But apparently, the intended meaning was: "especially because earlier she had been very faithful to Shintoist ways". If this is so, then the correct word would be either 'devout' or 'dedicated': "especially because earlier she had been practicing Shintoism so devoutly". Since we are talking about religion, 'devout' is probably more apt. Moreover, I think you should explain why this Japanese girl, Nono, is celebrating Christmas. Have the Japanese people adopted this festival? Finally, the phrase "after Nono's wishes" is unintelligible because "after" and "wish" don't go together. Do you mean that Nono stated a wish to the girls, who then took action to fulfill the wish?
 * Okay i put in the use of the wording you have for replacement of "determined". I clarified why Christmas is celebrated in Japan. If you want, I can give more historical reason for why it's even there as it it predates the Tokugawa era. Finally the phrase "after Nono's wishes" was wrong. It should have been "against Nono's wishes". じん    ない   21:22, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

For episode 9, somebody wrote, "Mai, Konami's daughter, is an introverted loner because she watched her late mother wait for Mai, the middle sister, whom she considered a friend, to return." This is nonsense in English because watching your mother wait decades in vain for somebody to appear would not have the effect of making you introverted.
 * Not sure what to due here then. Konami's daughter is clearly introverted as she fits the definition perfectly and the reasoning given in the anime, by herself, is that the never wanted to have friends because she didn't want them to suddenly disappear and leave her standed with false hope that they'd return. じん    ない   21:27, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

For episode 10: as with episode 6, you keep talking about a "jump" that the reader doesn't know about. I can't even tell whether "jump" reflects the intended meaning (whatever that is) or it is a mistaken choice of word. Dale Chock (talk) 08:23, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * I am unsure what word or short phrase to use here. I detailed earlier now that the mansion "travels through time and space", but am unsure what word to use here exactly other than "jump". じん    ない   21:31, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

New from Dale.
 * 1) Why couldn't you have said "time jumps" — described the kind of "jump"? In any case, you meant "next journey in time".
 * 2) There is another strange mention of unexplained plot developments: "the brothers burned down the mansion because they were annoyed at having returned without answers". What was the question? And of course, how did the girls get a new mansion? This is too much detail anyway.
 * 3) I'm getting the impression that only Ai has the gift of being able to talk to dandelions. Therefore, I made that explicit in the lead. Is that correct? Dale Chock (talk) 06:05, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * yes, except the last one involving Keith isn't quite clear, from the series, if it's a journey in time. It is clearly a journey through space, but it may also be in this one instance a journey into another dimension or something else.
 * The question was about why they were on the journey. The answer to the "new" mansion is never explored.
 * Correct.
 * じん   ない   06:11, 24 January 2009 (UTC)

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