Talk:Lolita (Leah LaBelle song)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: MarioSoulTruthFan (talk · contribs) 14:05, 2 November 2016 (UTC)

I'll be reviewing your article soon. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 14:05, 2 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 15:02, 2 November 2016 (UTC)

{{hidden|Initial review|headerstyle=background:lightgreen;|content=

Infobox

 * Where is the pop reference? Couldn't find it in the links your provided.
 * Added the source from MTV that lists the single as a pop song. I apologize for this mistake. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Lead

 * American singer Pharrell Williams → you have to be consistent in the following section you say he is a record producer. I would say "American record producer Pharrell Williams"
 * Corrected. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * songwriting from songwriter Kelly Sheehan → seems redundant. Composer perhaps? Or if its not suitable since she is not a producer perhaps change the sentence.
 * Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * The song was released as a single from LaBelle's debut album on May 7, 2013 → really? which album?
 * The single was intended to be a single from LaBelle's debut album. The album was frequently discussed during interviews/news about this single and the previous one "Sexify", but the album was never released (no official word was given on what caused this to happen). I have removed the references to the album, and just referenced as a single for clarity and to avoid confusion. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * Back → Backed
 * Fixed. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * "it is not for greatly diverging from its source material." → Could you explain the sentence to me? I don't understanding.
 * "Not" was a typo for "noted". Fixed. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * "The single found minor success in the United States, by reaching number seven on Dance Club Songs Billboard chart; it was LaBelle's second entry in the top 10 of a Billboard chart." → The single only charted on Dance Club Songs Billboard chart at number seven in the United States. It was LaBelle's second entry in the top 10 of a Billboard chart since (add the first title that charted)
 * Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * "performed the original version at various venues" → one or two examples
 * Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Background

 * Record producer Pharrell Williams → American record producer Pharrell Williams
 * Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * for his opinion of her → for his opinion regarding her
 * Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * Pharrel Williams' → Williams'
 * Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * References should be in the order they appear.
 * Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Composition and lyrical interpretation

 * Link "stomp"
 * Linked to stomp progression. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * and a "disco-tinged strut" → and "disco-tinged strut"
 * Done. 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * In the lyrics, LaBelle assumes the position of the eponymous character from the Vladimir Nabokov novel Lolita → wrong link perhaps?
 * Changed the section to better reflect this. Moved this down to a paragraph discussed how the single was compared to Lolita. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * The song opens with the hook, "Am I the aim of your fascination? / Am I the eye of your storm?" → It doesn't say it opens like that.
 * Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * During the chorus → same as previous.
 * Added a source that identifies it as the chorus. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * You need to reduce the sample WP:SAMPLE.
 * Reduced. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)
 * The sample is bigger, please read again WP:SAMPLE. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:46, 10 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Will change later tonight when I have the chance. I did not understand that you meant about reducing the length of the sample. I apologize for my misunderstanding. Aoba47 (talk) 21:06, 10 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Fixed. Aoba47 (talk) 23:08, 10 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Music video and promotion

 * LaBelle uploaded a lyric video to her Vevo account on February 11, 2013 → A lyric video was uploaded to LaBelle's Vevo account on February 11, 2013
 * Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * LaBelle is shown watering flowers while → The latter...
 * Changed it, but I am not crazy about the use "the latter". Just sounds weird to me.
 * You can use "she" instead its just no to repeat her name over and over. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:18, 9 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Used "she" instead. I do not agree with the use of "the latter", but that is just my personal preference. Aoba47 (talk) 21:08, 10 November 2016 (UTC)


 * The men act as LaBelle's "heart eyed entourage" and "her own personal secret service", and are seen washing a toy car in a car wash and presenting the singer with a life-sized teddy bar → You need to re-arrange this sentence it has several and and...seems too basic for GA standards.
 * Revised. Let me know if it needs further improvement. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Critical reception

 * The entire second paragraph is regarding the videoclip, henceforth it should be in the section "Music video and promotion" in a different paragraph.
 * Moved. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Commercial performance

 * "Two months later, “Sexify” went to No. 89 on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart" → you kinda overlooked this in the reference number 30. It should be as well mentioned.
 * I originally was not sure if that would be too much of a tangent away from the main point of the article ("Lolita"), but I agree with you. Has been added. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)
 * I wasn't explicit enough with this: add what I said above, but remove Bubbling Under R&B/Hip-Hop singles since its an extensive chart.
 * I understand your point, but removing the portions about the Bubbling Under R&B/Hip-Hop singles would make the part about "Lolita" being LaBelle's second entry in the top 10 of a Billboard chart unclear as it would not be directly referenced in the article. "Lolita" was the second entry, because "Sexify" was in the top 10 of the Bubbling Under R&B/Hip-Hop single. Normally, I would agree with you as I understand that it is an extensive chart, but an unfamiliar reader would certainly be confused if I say that "Lolita" was the second entry in the top ten of a Billboard and then went on to only reference how the previous single peaked at number 89 (as that is clearly not the the top 10 of the chart). I do not believe that it would be a good idea to remove the Bubbling Under R&B/Hip-Hop single for this reason. Aoba47 (talk) 14:59, 10 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Henceforth remove that, because what you are claiming there it's simply not true. A bubbling under chart is not the same as the official chart and all the component charts, in this case bubbling under, are removed once the song enters the official one despite its peak (only a few exceptions and this is not the case). LaBelle just has one song charting in the top ten and this is the one. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:44, 10 November 2016 (UTC)
 * I would normally agree with you as I hold the same understanding, but I take issue with your wording that is something that I am "claiming" as that is not the case if you look at the source cited. I added this information as it was something directly cited from the source in the paragraph below, and this is not something that I personally created on my own (which is how interpret the word "claiming"):
 * "Also moving into the top 10 this week is season three’s Leah LaBelle with “Lolita,” up 14-10. This is LaBelle’s second Billboard top 10; her “Sexify” peaked at No. 3 on the Bubbling Under Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart in May 2012. Two months later, “Sexify” went to No. 89 on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart."
 * The source was the one making the claim, and I was just trying to best convey the information given from the sources. I would also note that the source reported this after "Sexify" charted on the official chart, but still counted the component chart. I will remove this if you still believe it is necessary (and I will remove it from the "Sexify" article as well), but I wanted to bring this to your attention. Aoba47 (talk) 21:04, 10 November 2016 (UTC)
 * I know I read the source, but I strongly disagree with them. It's not my personal belief its wikipedia guidelines, just following them the best way I can. If the song never peaked on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart that would be perfectly ok and fine. However, this is not the case. Rewording, claiming, saying...take your pick, its all the same regarding the context I used. I meant no disrespect whatsoever I should have used cited or something like that. Still remove that I don't think its the best for this article. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:34, 10 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Makes sense. I hope that I did not sound disrespectful, as I really appreciate your help with this article as it has improved greatly with your help/comments and I have learned a lot from it. I just wanted to clarify that it was directly from the source, and not something that I had expanded on from the source. I agree with you, as it sounded odd to me when I read it. I have removed it from this article and the one for "Sexify". Thank you again. Aoba47 (talk) 23:47, 10 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Track listing

 * Those are a lot of remixes. Collapse Column perhaps?
 * Added. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Partial credits
How about full ones?


 * Composed By, Lyrics By – Kelly Sheehan, Pharrell Williams
 * Edited By – Andrew Coleman
 * Assistant Engineer – Matthew Desrameaux, PJ McGinnis, Tony Olivera
 * Mixed By – Leslie Brathwaite
 * Producer – Pharrell
 * Recorded By – Andrew Coleman, Mike Larson


 * Added. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Added. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Charts

 * Can't you link this to billboard?
 * Added. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Release history

 * The first release date you have is for Spain (first coutnry that appears), but the first link is for Austria. Alphabetic order is needed.
 * The single was released on different dates in different parts of the world so that is why it is like this. I have separated the references into two pieces to hopefully clarify this point. Let me know what you think. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * Some dates you have May 7, others July 7 → fix it.
 * Read above. Single was released on multiple dates according to the sources that I have found. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * I would add a small paragraph of this to the background section which would include the release dates and labels. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:20, 9 November 2016 (UTC)
 * I have added this to the "Music video and promotion" section and renamed it to "Release and promotion" as that seemed more appropriate, but let me know if you would prefer a different way. Aoba47 (talk) 17:57, 9 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Background section would be more appropriate and rename it "Background and release". Let the music video section be as it was. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:47, 9 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Understood and changed. Aoba47 (talk) 02:29, 10 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Good now use the same order they were released. The remixes came first so should be the first thing in the paragraph.
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:56, 10 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Overall Ga review

 * Please hold any fixes or comments until I'm done. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:36, 3 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Good job archiving all those links.
 * Thank you for your comments so far. I will wait to address them until you tell me that your review is complete. Aoba47 (talk) 02:36, 5 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your patience, but I got a lot on my plate right now, so this might take me more time to review than I was expecting.

MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:51, 5 November 2016 (UTC)
 * No worries, take as much time as you need. I just wanted to make sure that you were still in the process of reviewing as I did not want to make any edits/corrections from your comments without your consent/approval. Aoba47 (talk) 22:14, 5 November 2016 (UTC)
 * I was wondering if I could possibly start making edits to your comments? I understand if you want me to wait until the full review is up. Aoba47 (talk) 22:26, 5 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Just wait until I finish the review. I'm almost there. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 12:06, 6 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Understood, I will refrain from making any further edits. Aoba47 (talk) 18:14, 6 November 2016 (UTC)
 * I want' done with the review but its fine anyway. I will revise what I still need. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:20, 9 November 2016 (UTC)


 * Random question, but I was thinking about moving the page from Lolita (Leah Labelle song) to Lolita (Leah LaBelle song) as that is the correct way to spell the singer's last name. I was not aware of this when creating this article until I saw that this was the spelling on the artist's main article. Do you think this is a good idea? Aoba47 (talk) 17:42, 10 November 2016 (UTC)
 * I do but please wait until we finish this review ;). I try to finisht it until the end of next week, but no guarantees. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:22, 10 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Sounds like a plan to me. I apologize for editing while you were still completing the review. I got a little edit-happy lol. Hope you have a great rest of your week. Aoba47 (talk) 23:50, 10 November 2016 (UTC)
 * It can happen to anyone. Have you finished everything I commented? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:54, 10 November 2016 (UTC)
 * I believe so; the only thing that I am uncertain about is the comment you had about adding work to some of the references. I have added a comment to that, but I have addressed the rest of the review and revised accordingly (at least to the best of my knowledge; let me know if I accidentally read over or missed anything). Aoba47 (talk) 00:19, 11 November 2016 (UTC)

As of now it looks fine to me, I will give it a second read and tell you something or fix things by myself if they are very small. Hopefully in a week we will have this done. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:22, 11 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Thank you, and I apologize for any inconvenience that I caused. Aoba47 (talk) 20:59, 11 November 2016 (UTC)

}}

{{hidden|Re-review|headerstyle=background:lightpink;|content=
 * Re-Review

Lead

 * It was written by American songwriter Kelly Sheehan in collaboration with American record producer Pharrell Williams → No need to say American twice, find another way.
 * Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * music commentators → music critics + link to music journalism
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Background and release

 * Between the time she released covers and was featured on American Idol (2004) and when she signed (2011) what happened? When did Pharrell discovered her (year)?
 * She had a few things happen to her. She was actually first discovered by Keri Hilson and sang back-up on a few tours. I can add that in if necessary, but I felt that it was in appropriate for this article as it does not add much insight into the song as it is not directly related to the song. I included the bits about YouTube as it connects to Pharrell Williams, which connects to the song, but I believe the information about LaBelle's activity (doing back-up singing on tours, etc.) would be appropriate for the main article about the singer and not necessary for this. Correct me if I am wrong though, and let me know what information should be added. Also, I cannot find an exact date or year for when Pharrell discovered her, and I do not want to assume. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)
 * You are absolutely right, wonderful job. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 00:44, 12 November 2016 (UTC)


 * The first paragraph should be more summarized it goes to much into unnecessary detail for this song/article.
 * I have removed some stuff, but let me know what portions you think are unnecessary. I wanted to convey that LaBelle initially rose to fame on American Idol, her success through YouTube, and her discovery by Pharrell Williams and Jermaine Dupri. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)
 * "Even though LaBelle was directly contracted by Reid to Epic Records, the process of producing and recording songs was primarily handled through her collaborations with Williams and Dupri" → How relevant is this to the article?
 * It is not relevant, so I have removed it. Thank you for the comment. Aoba47 (talk) 00:51, 12 November 2016 (UTC)


 * On March 26, → On March 26, 2013,
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * May 7, 2013 → May 7 of the same year
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * Credits should also be mentioned here. producer, writer, mixing...everything.
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Composition and lyrical interpretation

 * A 9-second sample of the song, including the chorus "Baby, I was born to make you do something you've never done / You'll be forever young / I'm your Lolita," backed by synthesizers and a bass guitar → A 9-second sample of the song, where Labelle sings the chorus backed by synthesizers and a bass guitar; the rest is in the main article.
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * two minutes and 49-seconds → two minutes and forty nine seconds
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * American songwriter Kelly Sheehan wrote "Lolita" in collaboration with American record producer Pharrell Williams. → remove from here and add to the section above.
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * and a moderate dance tempo → and has a moderate dance tempo
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * She followed this up by saying that it was instead about → She concluded by saying that it was, instead, about...
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Music video and promotion

 * with Idolator's Sam Lansky identifying the carwash scene as one negative example → with Idolator's Sam Lansky identifying the carwash scene as one of them.
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * The single's cover features LaBelle in a revealing outfit that showcases her cleavage and legs → wrong section
 * Moved. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * May 8 → May 8, 2013
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * teddy bar → teddy bear
 * The best kind of bar lol. Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * for → regarding
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * Massappeal.com → Mass Appeal
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * writing: "the So So Def/I Am Other signee's → writing that the singer's...
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * Justin Joseph → from which publication?
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * LaBelle was noted for her sex appeal by Justin Joseph, and Rap-Up described the singer as having an "irresistible charm" throughout the video. → both publications have the same opinion henceforth merge them into one something like "Justin Joseph from and Rap-Up noticed..."
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * February 20, → by now you should know what missing
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * he Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend along with her debut single "Sexify". → when was this held?
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * alongside one for the track "Mr. Scissors". During the performance, LaBelle was accompanied only by a guitarist → I don't understand the end of the first sentence, rephrase it. Isn't the second sentence a bit obvious? I mean it is an acoustic session...what other instruments could have?
 * I wanted to convey that the performance was part of multiple ones that she did for Rap-Up, but I have removed it. Removed the bit about the guitarist. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Critical reception

 * music critics → link music journalism
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * Sam Lansky → from which publication?
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * "the type of radio candy that should command more mainstream attention than it's snagged" → use your own words.
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * "pretty hard to deny" by David Drake → same as the previous two comments.
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * Jenna Hally Rubenstein → from which publication
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Commercial performance

 * In the week of March 22, → In the week of March 22, 2013
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * May 5, → same as previous
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * Internationally, "Lolita" ranked on the official Tophit airplay chart at number 264. → When?
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Credits

 * Should be re-named as "Credits and personnel"
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * Link "edited"
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Release history

 * "Lolita" was initially released as a digital download on May 7, 2013 in select parts of the word → "Lolita" was initially released as a digital download on May 7, 2013 in select parts of the word and on July 5, 2013 internationally
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


 * "Lolita" was later released as a digital download on June 5, 2013 internationally. → Remove this from the latter sources.
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)

✅

Overall 2nd GA review
}}
 * final touches, go on. When you are done please ping me. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:37, 11 November 2016 (UTC)
 * I have addressed all of your above comments. I have left a few questions about your review of the "Background and release" section, but otherwise, everything else has been completed. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 11 November 2016 (UTC)
 * I forgot to tell you but you must find lyrics from an official provider, Metro Lyrics, if not available remove it. Sorry. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 00:15, 12 November 2016 (UTC)
 * No worries. Removed. Aoba47 (talk) 00:18, 12 November 2016 (UTC)
 * I will conclude this review tomorrow. Hope you are ready ;) MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 00:54, 12 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Awesome! Thank you for taking the time to do the review. Aoba47 (talk) 00:56, 12 November 2016 (UTC)
 * You are welcome. It has passed; don't forget to move the page like we discussed.
 * Thank you for your time and patience with this review. I will move the page in a few moments. Aoba47 (talk) 15:09, 12 November 2016 (UTC)