Talk:Long-toed salamander/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

I will be reviewing this article over the next couple of days, hope to be done by Friday. I'll dedicate the review to my childhood pet salamander. Here's to you, Sally... :) Sasata (talk) 08:25, 28 January 2009 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality: Prose is generally very well-written. A few fixes should be made. See comments below.
 * B. MoS compliance: Needs some copyedit for this.
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources: In general, thoroughly referenced. A couple of specific citations are needed, see comments.
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary: Yes.
 * C. No original research: Awaiting comment about Wiki policy on use of personal thesis as a source. Based on No_original_research, and the opinion of some other GA reviewers, there doesn't seem to be a problem. Also had a look at your thesis and saw there was an external examiner, which emphasizes its reliability as a source. Sasata (talk) 18:29, 29 January 2009 (UTC)


 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects: Yes. Excellent coverage.
 * B. Focused: Yes.
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias: Yes.
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc: Stable.
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales: All images with suitable licenses.
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions: Yes.
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail: Pending improvements.

I enjoyed reading this article, and thought it was both scholarly and accessible. Images complemented the text well. Some improvements need to be made in the lead, and converting summary text in the subspecies section into paragraph form. Although my comments list is somewhat lengthy, many suggested changes are minor, and hardly affect the article's eligibility as GA quality. Sasata (talk) 09:16, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Lead
*Redundant linking in lead sentence, as mole salamander is just a redirect to Ambystomatidae.
 * The 5 references for sentence 3 seems over the top for a lead section. Perhaps the latter part of the opening paragraph could be moved under a separate section heading (Distribution), and instead have a general sentence or two about the distribution in the lead. I don't imagine distribution info is particularly contentious, so it might not even be necessary to give a specific cite in the lead.
 * Have moved most of this to a new "Habitat and distribution" section. Sasata (talk) 18:24, 23 June 2009 (UTC)


 * Wikilink to endemic (i.e., endemism) rather than to the disambiguation page endemic.
 * "The distribution reconnects in the northeastern Sierra Nevada, California..." remove "the"
 * "From the Pacific coast the range runs longitudinally..." no need to link to Pacific if you've linked to the more specific Pacific coast in the previous sentence. Also, consider changing the colloquial "runs" to extends".
 * "The Long-toed salamander is an ecologically versatile species..." Long-toed is capitalized here but nowhere else.


 * Have uncapitalized all occurences in article text (not the refs) as per Wiki convention. Sasata (talk) 17:40, 16 June 2009 (UTC)


 * Other stuff to mention in the lead: a bit about its appearance, especially the characteristic long toes for which it is named; mention its conservation status; and a sentence about how phylogenetic analyses are being used to elaborate biogeography and evolutionary relationships.
 * Done. Sasata (talk) 18:24, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Taxonomy and evolution

 * Family names ending in -ae are plural, so "Ambystoma macrodactylum is a member of Ambystomatidae also known as the mole salamanders. Ambystomatidae originated..." would become "Ambystoma macrodactylum is a member of the Ambystomatidae, also known as the mole salamanders. The Ambystomatidae originated..." Two other occurrences of this in that section as well.


 * Paleocene doesn't need to be linked twice in successive sentences.


 * "Salamanders would likely have been able to disperse and migrate into mountainous valley habitats of the Rocky Mountains as they attained significant relief by the Eocene." clarify "significant relief"
 * changed "relief" to "elevation". Sasata (talk) 18:29, 23 June 2009 (UTC)


 * "...rise of the Cascade Range causing a rain shadow effect dividing..." Would like a comma after Range or effect to provide a sentence pause.

Description

 * "The eggs of this species look similar to those of its cousins:" is the word cousins commonly used to describe related species in herpetology?


 * "Northwestern salamander" and "Tiger Salamander" = inconsistent capitalization


 * "When in its egg," - another pause for breath.


 * "...darker on top and whiter below when compared to a...''


 * Link metamorphose in 1st paragraph rather than 3rd.


 * "...their limbs with digits are visible..." ...become visible...


 * Link mottled.


 * "...five digits on the rear feet. [30]" extra space after period


 * "... where the etymological origin of its name (Gr. makros = long and Gr. daktylos = toe) stems from." Call me old-school, but I still cringe when I see a preposition at the end of a sentence. How about putting from before where? (A stylistic preference, feel free to ignore) . Or maybe move the etymology sentence into the taxonomy section?


 * "...with a colored yellow..."

Eggs

 * "...ovaries accounting for over 50% of the body mass..." citation please.
 * citation at end of following sentence. Sasata (talk) 18:31, 23 June 2009 (UTC)


 * "A maximum of 264 eggs have been found in a single female, which is a large size considering..." change to "a large number".


 * "The eggs are sometimes laid singly, especially in warmer climates south of the Canada and US border." needs citation.
 * Again, given in citation for the following sentence. Sasata (talk) 18:31, 23 June 2009 (UTC)


 * Wikilink oomycetes.

Metamorphosis and juveniles

 * Link to the more specific Pacific coast.


 * Link overwinter.

Adults

 * Use ndash (–) rather than hyphen (-) for number ranges.
 * ✅ Done thoughout article. Walter Siegmund (talk) 20:24, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

Seasonal

 * Link directly to Spawn (biology) rather than disam page.


 * Link other locales mentioned (Oregon, Washington).


 * "...some individuals have been seen migrating along snow banks on warm spring days." citation?

Breeding

 * What is "butting"?
 * Changed to head-butting. Sasata (talk) 20:02, 23 June 2009 (UTC)


 * The latter sentences in the section would benefit from the addition of some commas, and removal of some "ands" to improve flow. As an example, "As the female follows the male stops and deposits a spermatophore and the female will move forward with the male to raise her tail and receive the sperm packet."

Energy storage and defense mechanisms

 * 8-14 ndash


 * ..."waive its tail..." wave


 * "Their skin colors and patterns exhibit a surprising range..." change peacock word surprising.


 * "Adults may also drop parts of their tail and sleek away..." is this the right word? Do you mean slink?


 * re-growth to regrowth


 * "The regeneration and re-growth of the tail is one example of the developmental physiology of amphibians that is of great interest to the medical profession." I checked the online source you linked to and couldn't find a mention of this great interest. Please check source and/or remove peacock words "of great interest".
 * Replaced with a better reference. Sasata (talk) 20:02, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Conservation status

 * "Forestry, roads, and other land developments that alter the environments that amphibians migrate through to drier and more dangerous conditions that increases mortality." Construction awkward, please rephrase.


 * "The habitat of the long-toed salamander overlaps with the forestry industry..." or something like that.


 * Need period before citation 69.


 * "Trout introduced for the sport fisheries into once fishless lakes is also ..." Trout ... are.


 * "...which increases deformities..." to "which increases the incidence of deformities"; extra space b/w cits 75 and 76


 * Not sure why the last sentence about subspecies in there. If they are of concern, say so specifically?

Subspecies

 * I don't see any reason not to have the subspecies description in proper paragraph form, rather than summary form. Or perhaps make a table if you're worried about repeating information.
 * Hmmm... maybe it's ok as a summary of information. Will see what the next reviewer thinks. Sasata (talk) 20:02, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Biogeography and genetics

 * Not sure what integrade means under A. m. sigillatum.
 * Linked term. Sasata (talk) 20:02, 23 June 2009 (UTC)


 * Need space: "Thompson and Russell[84]found..."


 * Link Salmon River (Idaho)

Other

 * This sentence in one of the captions needs some reorganizing: "Image showing the dorsal underside of a male long-toed salamander under its snout (left), where chin glands that release hormones when males rub against females, can be seen under the white flecks."
 * ✅ Walter Siegmund (talk) 17:51, 29 January 2009 (UTC)


 * Is this species resistant to Batrachochytrium dendrobatidis?

Wow!! Some excellent review comments. I will work on this and seem like Wsiegmung is helping out too!! Thanks. Is it resistant to B. dendrobatidis? It appears to be so. In general, salamanders may be carriers but don't seem to show the disease symptoms. There have been samples found in the water where long-toed salamander occur and along the coast of British Columbia. I sent swab samples to be analyzed a couple of months ago for testing through collaborative work I'm doing with the Ministry of Environment. As soon as these results get back - I will let you know.Thompsma (talk) 21:03, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

GA Fail
No word from the nominator in two weeks, so I'm failing the GA review. Feel free to resubmit after the suggestions are addressed. Sasata (talk) 08:55, 13 February 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, got super busy lately. I will get back to this, probably in April. Thompsma (talk) 05:02, 5 March 2009 (UTC)