Talk:Lore Maria Peschel-Gutzeit

Fathers
The English version says "Peschel-Gutzeit was born in Hamburg as the daughter of a teacher and a major general." while the German version says "Peschel-Gutzeit wurde als Tochter eines aus Gera stammenden, promovierten Volkswirtes und einer Lehrerin in Hamburg geboren" (Peschel-Gutzeit was born in Hamburg as the daughter of a Gera-born economist with a doctorate and a teacher.)

The issue of the biological father (the economist) vs adoptive father (the general) was discussed at the German article in 2021 and was queried in the English GA review in 2023 where there was a response that seems inaccurate. Confusion arises because the subject did not acknowledge her biological father and so many sources just give the adoptive father. The German editors seem to have got to the bottom of this by consulting the official birth record. That's not linked online but we need to address the issue here and it seems likely to be the most accurate source.

We could also use some clarity about her early upbringing. Was her mother a single parent? What name did she go by then? Who exactly was the father and why the separation?

Andrew🐉(talk) 12:00, 30 May 2024 (UTC)

Suggestions for improvement

 * Her mother's family also hailed from Hamburg, the impoverished merchant family Brüggmann, which suffered during World War I.- ? Hamburg is the impoverished merchant family? How about "Her mother came from the Brüggmann family, merchants from Hamburg, who lost their fortune during WWI" (if that's what you're trying to say - the fact I don't understand whether "impoverished" and "suffered" are related is a problem in itself!)
 * In her autobiography, she referred to her adoptive father, former Nazi General Hans Gutzeit,[3] as her biological father. However, he formally adopted her only after she reached adulthood.
 * why the However? I mean, he's not her biological father no matter when he adopted her, right?
 * Also, she lied in her autobiography? Are you sure this isn't a misphrasing, such as a mistranslation from the German of some different meaning of "biological"? I've got to say, a modern mainstream politician lying in order to claim to be a blood relative of a Nazi general seems an unusual claim, it would be easier to believe a modern mainstream politician lying in order to claim not to be a blood relative of a Nazi general.
 * She had a half-sister who was four years older from her mother's first marriage.
 * had? Doesn't any more? Clarify
 * "was four years older from her mother's first marriage" sounds awkward. How about "a half-sister, four years older, from her mother's first marriage"?
 * This is also awkwardly placed, since she had the half-sister since birth, but this is put after her being adopted at adulthood. I'd move it either before or after Peschel-Gutzeit's biological father didn't play a significant role in her life.
 * She served as the chairwoman of the German Association of Women Lawyers (Deutscher Juristinnenbund [de]) from 1977 to 1981 and joined the Social Democratic Party (SPD) in 1988.[6] Starting in 1972, she served as a family judge at the Hanseatic Higher Regional Court in Hamburg. In 1984, following some internal conflicts, she became the first woman appointed as the chair of a family senate. - Why 1977 then 1988 then 1972 then 1984? Why not put these events in chronological order?
 * Same for the next few bits - 1990, then 1988, then 1991 ?
 * In 1988, as part of Emma magazine's PorNO campaign, a legislative proposal aiming to establish a German law against pornography, developed in collaboration with Peschel-Gutzeit, was published; however, it did not get implemented.[8] Avoided the verb at the end putting should be, or like Yoda to sound we risk. This is the article about her, she should be the main actor in most of it. How about "...campaign, she developed a legislative proposal ... ; however ..." (see I'm not against all howevers on principle, just where they fit!)
 * Why does Voscherau III Senate have a redlink and [Wikidata] link but Diepgen III Senate in the very next sentence not?
 * Peschel-Gutzeit left office and retired from politics.[1] She implemented corresponding legislative proposals
 * How could she implement anything if she left office?
 * What does "corresponding" mean here?
 * Neue Juristische Wochenschrift. = needs italics, it's the name of a magazine
 * She advocated for joint parental custody and children's rights. - Weird place to make a paragraph break, right after another "She advocated" sentence. Is there a difference between the two advocacies?
 * In 2019, she founded the family and inheritance law firm ... In 2019, she was honored with the Marie Juchacz Women's Prize Wasn't the second event before the first? The sources are.
 * Her first marriage to a terminally ill colleague ended in 1958 - what?
 * Did she have other marriages to terminally ill colleagues? Desperately needs a pair of commas: "Her first marriage, to a terminally ill colleague, ended..."
 * Less flippantly, this needs more details, this is supposed to be a GA, you can't just throw it off like that. Yes, lots of people get married, and even marrying colleagues isn't that rare, in general we have some ideas why people get married, we can let that go. But not everyone gets married to terminally ill colleagues! That's actually kind of rare! Did she know he was terminally ill? How long were they married? Please expand.
 * Titled 'Naturally Equal,' Peschel-Gutzeit published her autobiography in 2012 - No, just no. "Peschel-Gutzeit published her autobiography, titled Naturally Equal, in 2012." Please.
 * Also a few details or at least reviews of the book would not go amiss; in fact in a GA I'd think they be required.
 * Autobiography written with Brüdgam, Nele-Marie (2013). Selbstverständlich gleichberechtigt: eine autobiographische Zeitgeschichte [Naturally Equal: Hoffmann and Campe] (in German) (2nd ed.). Hamburg: Hoffmann und Campe. Hoffmann and Campe is not part of the title, it's the publishing house; don't translate it as part of the title!

Copied from User:GRuban/DreamRimmer RFA. Thanks to GRuban for this. – DreamRimmer (talk) 17:18, 1 June 2024 (UTC)