Talk:Los Ángeles Negros/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: GreatOrangePumpkin (talk · contribs) 20:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * "and after winning a local competition in June 1968, they recorded and released their first single, "Porque Te Quiero". " - I would begin a new sentence: "After winning... which attracted..."
 * "and several singles in the following years which topped the charts across Latin America." - and several chart-topping (or number one) singles..
 * "Following Germaín de la Fuente's departure from the group, " - why not just "Fuente's departure"?
 * "classic band members left too and established other similarly named bands" remove classic; remove other; left too -> also left; -> established bands with similar names
 * "along with Sergio Rojas" - better would be "and Sergio Rojas"
 * What is the Consolidada?
 * Many red links. I suggest delink all except those which you or other users will create in future
 * "but De la Fuente" - "except" would be better
 * "who did not like The Beatles at all" - redundant
 * "wanted to sing " - they wanted to sing. Also why singing? I would write that they wanted to do Bolero music
 * "As a result, they mixed both styles,[3] in a style known as Balada rockmántica or Bolero-beat.[2]" - suggest: As a result, they created a mixed style known as ...
 * "and were awarded the possibility to record a single in Sello Indis" and received the opportunity to record...
 * Sello Indis is what exactly? A studio?
 * "They recorded the songs" - remove "the songs". Also note that the slash indicates that the latter is the b-side and the first the a-side. Say so.
 * " which were released " - which was?
 * "and became a quintet after Federico Blasser joined the band to play the drums" - and became a quintet when drummer Frederico Blasser joined the band
 * "and along with De la Fuente's voice" - and because of Fuente's voice
 * "Quickly, Oñate contacted three studio musicians," - could you move the quickly ahead "contacted"?
 * ", drummer Luis Ortiz," - I would replace the first comma either with a colon, an unspaced m-dash or a spaced n-dash
 * "Los Ángeles Negros' first LP, Porque Te Quiero, released in 1969" - how about "... debut 1969 LP, ..."
 * "proposed the studio musicians to be permanent part of the group" - proposed the studio musicians to stay permanently in the group
 * To avoid repetition, as you later wrote "a proposal", I suggest to replace the first word with eg "suggest"
 * Psychedelic funk is a red link; perhaps link as you did in the lead
 * LP may be replaced with "album", "record", etc
 * " which included" - including
 * ""stadiums which were full of people" - who said that? Perhaps attribute to the author
 * "which concluded with the departure of Los Ángeles Negros of drummer Luis Ortiz" of Ortiz from Los Angeles Negros
 * Just mention their full names once but then only their surnames
 * Why did Fuente leave the band?
 * "During the early 1980s, the band performed live at least 150 times yearly in Mexico, leading them to settle there in 1983." - How about: "After the successful period in the early 1980s when the band performed live at least 150 times in Mexico in a year, they decided to move to this country in 1983 "
 * "until 1990, with their comeback album El Esperado Regreso" - until the 1990 comeback album El Esperado Regreso
 * " "inspired in tropical music"" should that be "inspired by tropical music"? Also add who said this (same situation with every quote in this article)
 * "Former members Jorge González and Germaín de la Fuente returned to Chile too" - remove "too" and instead write "...also returned..."
 * "Guitarist Mario Gutiérrez continued to be part of Los Ángeles Negros as the only original member, and became its leader." - and later became its leader
 * "which he calls "músicos piratas" (illegal musicians)" - who are for him, or, who he calls
 * "In an unexpected move" - sounds a bit awkward. Suggest removal
 * "Their label, EMI," -remove commas
 * " on 14 February 2010 at the Teatro Caupolicán. " - move the 14 2 2010 date to the end
 * "The group's reunion, " - "group's" redundant
 * "Sala SCD" - which is what?
 * ", and Los Galos, and the Peruvian band Los Pasteles Verdes." - remove "and" ahead Los Galos
 * Fixed everything, I think. Lester Foster (talk &#124; talk) 15:55, 20 September 2012 (UTC)
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall: Prose is a bit sloppy, but I think you can fix the issues in the following days. Regards.--Kürbis (✔) 18:08, 18 September 2012 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall: Prose is a bit sloppy, but I think you can fix the issues in the following days. Regards.--Kürbis (✔) 18:08, 18 September 2012 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail: