Talk:Lotta Dempsey/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: 1TWO3Writer (talk · contribs) 17:48, 28 August 2023 (UTC)

Very happy to take this one. Good luck!
 * Thanks for looking at her. I think I have answered all of your queries. I disagree with you on the autobiography, but have reworked it anyway following your advice. Please ping me, if we need to have more discussion. I appreciate your work to improve the article. SusunW (talk) 15:59, 31 August 2023 (UTC)

1a
She was also proud of gaining an interview with the sex researcher Alfred Kinsey, who rarely spoke with the press, and of being the first Canadian woman to discuss his study with him. I suggest: She was the first Canadian woman to interview the sexologist Alfred Kinsey, who rarely spoke with the press. I don't think her being proud needs to be mentioned, but if you disagree, mention who claims she was proud (Mary Louise Adams) so it's properly attributed.
 * done SusunW (talk) 14:07, 31 August 2023 (UTC)

1b
I would suggest splitting the lead into three paragraphs: bio intro and early career, later career and death, and awards.

I do not know if ...and from a young age wanted to be a reporter. Her father insisted she should become a teacher, but after two months of teaching, Dempsey resigned... is necessary in the lead.
 * ✅ SusunW (talk) 14:11, 31 August 2023 (UTC)

2b
Spot-check:

3b
The book told her life story with her typical humour, relaying missteps she had made, like stepping off a boat and landing in the water rather on land, crashing into Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh when she attempted a curtsy, and exiting from her bathroom in a hotel inadvertently into the corridor without her key or clothes. I don't think all of those anecdotes are exactly relevant. Perhaps could be replaced with how the book was critically received?
 * Except that those are from a review and are the most often reported anecdotes about her mishaps, so I think probably signature events. I've removed them, but I think one gets a lot less of a sense of who she was with them gone. I've scoured newspapers and come up with 3 more reviews, all of which give anecdotes, but I've left them out and given a brief summary of all 3. It isn't likely to have "critical reviews", as it's not an academic work, and reviews were written by fellow journalists. By definition an autobiography tells one's own version of their life, how is a reviewer going to analyze a subjective view objectively? Perhaps you like it better now? SusunW (talk) 15:55, 31 August 2023 (UTC)


 * Yes, I do. And all your other edits. Well done! 123Writer talk 16:19, 31 August 2023 (UTC)