Talk:Loud Tour Live at the O2/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Et3rnal (talk · contribs) 20:35, 18 June 2013 (UTC)


 * Lead
 * "The DVD and Blu-ray Disc release features" → "The DVD and Blu-ray Disc releases feature".


 * "including the encore and features songs" – remove 's' on feature.


 * "The tour was described as an..." – you should say who made that statement.
 * — Tomíca (T2ME) 22:23, 18 June 2013 (UTC)
 * Background
 * "Rihanna addressed rumors about a special performance to be included on the setlist..." – This sentence and the following one aren't expanded, and so seem a bit redundant. Could you possibly expand them?
 * Completely re-arranged it and expanded it. — Tomíca (T2ME) 22:23, 18 June 2013 (UTC)
 * Release
 * "Apart of North America" – I'm not sure what this means.
 * Well, she did shows in North America, however, also in Europe and etc... — Tomíca (T2ME) 22:23, 18 June 2013 (UTC)
 * I've changed it a bit to reflect this, as I think the previous version sounded a bit weird.


 * "Via her official Twitter account, she announced that she is to film" – should be past tense.


 * "on her official YouTube channel, December 6, 2012" – add 'on' before 'December 6, 2012'.
 * — Tomíca (T2ME) 22:23, 18 June 2013 (UTC)
 * Concert synopsis
 * "Scenes are intercuted" → "Scenes are intercut".


 * "while wearing blue electric dress" → "while wearing a blue electric dress"


 * "a car is present on the scenes and Rihanna climbs to its top while performs" → "a car is present during the scene, to which Rihanna climbs to its top while performing"


 * All the 'intercuted' should be changed to 'intercut'.


 * "Rihanna heading to her show with a metro" → "Rihanna heading to her show within a metro".


 * "name of the cities in which they perform" → "name of the cities in which they performed".


 * "After the performances, scenes of Rihanna and her team choosing the artwork for Talk That Talk covers and prepares for her appearance on Ellen DeGeneres Show" → "After the performances, scenes of Rihanna and her team are shown choosing the artwork for Talk That Talk, as well as Rihanna preparing for her appearance on Ellen DeGeneres Show".


 * "the singer is back on the stage wearing yellow dress and performs "Unfaithful" on a platform" – "the singer is back on the stage wearing a yellow dress, performing "Unfaithful" on a platform".


 * "Scenes of Rihanna having fun with her fans are and making a birthday party for her manager Jay Brown are shown" – remove the first 'are' and replace the second one with 'is'.


 * "they are traveling" – 'travelling'.
 * My online grammar spotcheck says that "traveling" is right and not "travelling" — Tomíca (T2ME) 22:23, 18 June 2013 (UTC)
 * I just checked, and both spellings are correct. No point in changing it.


 * "She is arguing with the tour director how the set should be like, because she wants to add "We Found Love" to i" – replaced 'be like' with 'arranged' and at 'it' at the end.

— Tomíca (T2ME) 22:23, 18 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "Loud Tour Live at the O2 finishes with Rihanna performing "We Found Love" as final song". – add 'the' before 'final'.

— Tomíca (T2ME) 22:23, 18 June 2013 (UTC) — Tomíca (T2ME) 22:23, 18 June 2013 (UTC)
 * Commercial performance
 * "The following week stayed on the same position" – add 'it' before 'stay'.
 * Credits and personnel
 * You should move the sentence at the bottom to the top for better accessibility.
 * References
 * 10.Rap-Up publisher is 'Rap-Up, LLC'.


 * 12.Consequence of Sound is self-published.


 * 13.Digital Spy's publisher is 'Hearst Magazines UK'.

— Tomíca (T2ME) 22:23, 18 June 2013 (UTC)
 * 34.'Prometheus Global Media' should be linked.

No major issues, in general looks fine. Will put on hold.  Et 3  rnal  21:29, 18 June 2013 (UTC)
 * Looks splendid, passing.  Et 3  rnal  13:36, 19 June 2013 (UTC)