Talk:Louis J. Sebille/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Lord Roem (talk) 19:37, 27 February 2011 (UTC)


 * I look forward to the review. I will write out my initial comments later this week. Best regards, Lord Roem (talk) 19:37, 27 February 2011 (UTC)


 * The article firstly links to 5 redirect pages (shown in the box on the right side of this page). The external links so far look fine. Lord Roem (talk) 19:39, 27 February 2011 (UTC)


 * Fixed the links. — Ed! (talk) 14:41, 10 March 2011 (UTC)

Things to fix/resolve
Lead
 * Second to last sentence in last paragraph is a run-on.
 * Fixed--Iankap99 (talk) 22:15, 10 March 2011 (UTC)

Biography
 * "or MC", not needed.
 * Agreed, fixed--Iankap99 (talk) 22:16, 10 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Need a cite for "During that time he was described as an outstanding pilot and leader..."
 * Added citation--Iankap99 (talk) 22:32, 10 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Need a cite for "...but when those flights produced heavy casualties...they began flying medium-altitude missions"
 * Fixed --Iankap99 (talk) 22:33, 10 March 2011 (UTC)

Korean War
 * Confused about placement of the '3,000 hours of flying time'. Maybe move that to after the WWII section? It sounds like he flew 3k hours in five days...
 * It clearly says over the course of his career--Iankap99 (talk) 22:34, 10 March 2011 (UTC)

Medal of Honor action'
 * First sentence reads like a run-on.
 * Is 'Beachhead' capitalized?
 * No, fixed--Iankap99 (talk) 22:28, 10 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "passed under his nose" - cliche?
 * Sounded awkward, I fixed it--Iankap99 (talk) 22:24, 10 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "But only one of his bombs had released..." - merge to the sentence before. But sounds out of place here.
 * I didn't merge but it doesn't sound awkward anymore--Iankap99 (talk) 22:27, 10 March 2011 (UTC)

Awards
 * Oh my gosh that looks so pretty/awesome :-)
 * Maybe write how many of these were given posthumously. You only say the Medal of Honor was given to him after death.

MOA Citation
 * Not sure the information proceeding the actual citation message is needed. I'm talking about the Rank and org...place and date, etc.

Other
 * Rename Sources to Bibliography?
 * Maybe a more descriptive caption for the picture of Louis Sebille next to the plane.

Best regards, Lord Roem (talk) 00:35, 28 February 2011 (UTC)

Have you been in contact with the submitter? I'll pick this up if he is AWOL.--Iankap99 (talk) 22:15, 10 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Looks good! Promoted. Lord Roem (talk) 18:00, 11 March 2011 (UTC)