Talk:Louis Timothee/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 20:26, 8 September 2021 (UTC)

Comments
 * Worth mentioning in the lead he was from the Netherlands.


 * Those "colonies" link to "province" articles, is that more appropriate for them?


 * ". A couple of newspapers ..." perhaps, "... publishing newspapers which included..."


 * "30 Dec 1738 (age 39)" odd short date format.


 * Normally the birth/death date details are included after the name in the lead.


 * You say The Netherlands in the infobox but Holland in the article, these are not equivalent.


 * "USA" -> "US".


 * "08 Dec 1726" again, odd short date format and we don't need leading zeroes on dates.


 * "lived in Rotterdam after they fled France and went to Holland" split sentence, and link Rotterdam.


 * "in the Netherlands he" link it here if you're going to use Holland before.


 * "September 21, 1731" which date format is this article using?


 * Link British America.


 * "Philadelphia, Timothy advertised" he advertised

"French-language school" in reality?
 * "public French School" link public appropriately, and what is meant exactly by a "French School"? Is it just a


 * "Timothy got acquainted" got->became.


 * "His first attempt at a newspaper was " quick repeat of "newspaper", suggest a re-word.


 * "by Franklin.[1] Franklin" repetitive.


 * "Franklin furnished up front" avoid repeating "furnished" so quickly, perhaps "provided" or "lent" or similar.


 * "the yellow fever disease" just "yellow fever" is fine.


 * "Timothy did well as a newspaper publisher" in what sense?


 * Is there a link for postmaster which is appropriate?


 * "business to an assortment of jobs, including books" -> "business to include books"


 * "In this period Timothy's son Peter was beginning" -> "During this period, Timothy's son Peter began..."


 * "to do the" perform?


 * "would get the" get or inherit? Or take over?


 * "discussion group. The group" repetitive.


 * "no full time" full-time


 * "salaried librarian in " linked too late, and repetitive, the word "librarian" is already in this sentence.


 * "three pounds sterling" £3, link and inflate.


 * "arranged with Benjamin Franklin" no need for Benj.


 * "1733. He started" merge short sentences.


 * "four of which were children born in" four of whom were born in


 * "This was the third year Timothy had arrived" It was three years since Timothy's arrival...


 * "shop Timothy continued" comma after shop.


 * "He died after this announcement two months later" He died two months after this announcement...


 * "sure. In fact on" -> "sure. In contrast, on...


 * "had put in a special clause inserted" had included a special clause in


 * "partnership contract that his eldest son Peter could succeed him" didn't you already mention that?


 * "of 2nd page" second, 3rd -> third etc.


 * That's all I have. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 19:44, 9 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks for review. Will get started immediately in resolving the issues.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:40, 9 September 2021 (UTC)
 * All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:09, 10 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Louis had a wife from the Netherlands. He doesn't have anything up on me. I have a wife from Groningen -> 50 years October 29. Louis' wife Elizabeth Timothy was the first female publisher of a newspaper in American and I hope she becomes a Good Article someday.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:09, 10 September 2021 (UTC)