Talk:Love/Hate (The-Dream album)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Wetrorave (talk · contribs) 16:34, 29 June 2021 (UTC)

From a quick look, here's my opinion:

Infobox and lead

 * Image nees  text – NFCC seems fine
 * Okay
 * A possibly better way to summarize The Dream's roles: "American singer, songwriter, and producer" > "American musician"
 * Okay
 * "is the debut album by" – remove album wikilink
 * It should stay as a contextual link to an elementary topic of this article (MOS:CONTEXTLINK).
 * "producer The-Dream. It was released" > "producer The-Dream, released"
 * I don't find this kind of construction the most sophisticated grammatically.
 * "2007, during his" > "2007. With his"
 * "pop music. [line break] The-Dream pursued" > "pop music, The-Dream pursued" (without the line break)
 * That would change the meaning of the sentence by directly connecting his emergence to his musical direction for the album. isento (talk) 20:11, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
 * "Love/Hate, drawing" > "Love/Hate. The album drew"
 * The word works best as an adverb referring to The-Dream and his direction, rather than the album itself, which is more a product of the direction and inspirations than an acting agent. isento (talk) 20:11, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
 * "native Atlanta. Recording" > "native Atlanta. [line break] Recording"
 * "Recording alongside fellow songwriter-producers Tricky Stewart and Carlos McKinney, he employed" > "Recorded alongside fellow songwriter-producers Tricky Stewart and Carlos McKinney, the album employs"
 * Okay. isento (talk) 20:11, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
 * For info on critical reception, add this before the first sentence of the third paragraph:
 * That doesn't seem necessary. And I think it's more effective to end the paragraph with views on its lasting significance, mirroring the structure of the body. isento (talk) 20:11, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Sorry isento, I suggested that when I didn't know any better. I was going to write a summary of the reception but then I saw that it's already there (it's fine for it to be at the end of the lead). I must have forgotten to remove this suggestion, but I guess it was just a burning memory. Wetrorave (talk) 21:38, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Nice lyric reference! I love sharing the things we know and love with those of my kind ... isento (talk) 03:46, 30 June 2021 (UTC)

Background

 * "As The-Dream recalls, "I called [ Island Def Jam executive] Karen Kwak and I told her I wanted to [...] shit. I figured" > "The-Dream stated he remembers calling Island Def Jam executive Karen Kwak and telling her he "wanted to [...] shit." The-Dream said: "I figured"
 * I've paraphrased much of it instead. "Stated" means to say something clearly and definitely, which phrases like "artist shit" and "figured" do not. isento (talk) 00:59, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Writing and recording

 * "and McKinney[4] – were [...] Angeles.[5]" > "and McKinney – were [...] Angeles.[4][5]"
 * WP:CITEFOOT says to place the citation after the adjacent punctuation and close to the material it is supporting. isento (talk) 02:07, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "approach[6] and wrote some of its songs responding" > "approach,[6] writing some of its songs as a response"
 * I've split the clauses into two sentences. isento (talk) 02:07, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "life, most notably "Nikki", which was inspired" > "life. An example is "Nikki", a track inspired"
 * Apparently, whoever added that sentence in the past misused the source. So I've replaced it with something more faithful to the source. isento (talk) 02:07, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "from past artists" > "from artists" – past is redundant, since there's no way someone can be influenced by a future artist
 * Well, there is also the present, and the sentence mentions "contemporary", so I believe the "past" distinction is still useful. isento (talk) 02:07, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "elements,[4] as the" > "elements.[4] The" for the sentence not be too large
 * I've replaced the period with a semicolon, so the connection remains. isento (talk) 02:07, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "resolutely luminescent" with" > "resolutely luminescent", with" for readers to have a pause on this sentence
 * Done. isento (talk) 02:07, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Title and packaging

 * Change to Title and album cover
 * Make this section a level 3 header since it's three/four lines long
 * I would prefer to keep as is. As a subsection, it wouldn't belong under any of the other sections, topically. Perhaps I will expand it in the future, actually. isento (talk) 02:17, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Actually, it can work also if merged into marketing and sales. isento (talk) 04:03, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Marketing and sales

 * "Around the time of "Bed"'s release," > "Near the release of "Bed","
 * Near is defined primarily as proximity, i.e. physical distance, so I think the current phrasing makes it clearer that we are defining a period of time. isento (talk) 02:21, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * Ref 25 redirects to Vibe's news page; use this
 * Thanks. Done. isento (talk) 02:27, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "year" because of The-Dream's ability to write catchy songs." > "year",opining that The-Dream is a skilled songwriter."
 * Well, the critic specifies it's his "tune-sense", tune meaning melody or melodic song, so I've revised it to "The-Dream's instinct for composing melodies". isento (talk) 02:27, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "Some reviewers had reservations." – this is a very vague statement; what reservations did they have, and why?
 * It's merely a summary and no more or less vague than the album having received acclaim. The subsequent sentences elucidate those reservations. isento (talk) 02:27, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "remained impressed by the consistent quality" > "opined that the album has consistent quality"
 * I don't want to get too wordy here. I'll just remove "consistent", since that was the only problematic element in stating what she "remained impressed by" as fact. isento (talk) 02:27, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Legacy and influence

 * Endash with other dash might be confusing, so "the West–Jay-Z song" > "West's collaboration with Jay-Z"
 * That would complicate the remaining structure of the sentence and make a long one even longer. MOS:ENBETWEEN says the dash can be used this way for compound constructions indicating "and". isento (talk) 02:46, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "proved highly innovative" > "is considered highly innovative"
 * The Pitchfork source, cited at the end of the second sentence, verifies it this. And writing "considered ..." without attribution would be weasel-y. There's no reason to doubt the veracity of this statement, with other sources verifying it too . isento (talk) 02:46, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Also, phrasing it in the past tense suits the narrative tone of the section, as events happening after the album. isento (talk) 03:57, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Track listing

 * Use Cite AV media notes here per WP:TRACKLISTING
 * Done. isento (talk) 02:50, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Personnel

 * Wikiling the first instance of mastering to mastering (audio) and engineer to audio engineer
 * Done. And I've expanded/completed the track credits. isento (talk) 03:37, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Charts

 * Seems fine

Certifications

 * Change to Certification since it's only one
 * Done. isento (talk) 03:43, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Further reading/External links

 * Fine

Overall

 * for now; I may not be able to respond in the following hours though. Wetrorave (talk) 16:34, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks. I'll get thru the rest later though. isento (talk) 20:12, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
 * You seem to have addressed all the issues. The ones you didn't seem fine, since there is a stated reason for not doing each one of them. I'm still not entirely happy with the article not having a combination of the artist's name with the release date separated only by a comma, like other articles do, but 'brilliant' prose is not a requirement of GA so it's not necessary.

In conclusion, this article is good to go: ✅. Wetrorave (talk) 12:52, 1 July 2021 (UTC)