Talk:Lucid (Aṣa album)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 18:03, 30 May 2020 (UTC)

Will review this soon --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:03, 30 May 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Use bullet points instead of hlist in the infobox ✅
 * Sure you can't find a source for recording date? ❌ I'm not sure exactly what you mean. The release date is sourced in the release history section.
 * Target neo-soul to Neo soul ✅
 * Lead could do with expanding; maybe mention the title info in it and definitely for the tour info. ✅ Expanded it.
 * Also, split it into two paras, though my suggestions may change/new ones could be introduced after you have done this. ✅
 * Remove wikilink on studio album ✅
 * Labels are in the wrong order; do same order as in the infobox. ✅
 * "Musically, Lucid is a" → "Musically, the album is a" ✅
 * "The album is a departure from" → "It is a departure from" ✅
 * "in that it is more personal" → "due to being more personal" ✅
 * Target political to Music and politics ✅
 * "It was primarily produced by" → "The production was primarily handled by" ✅
 * I think after this sentence, you should start para 2? ✅
 * Target ballads to Sentimental ballad ✅
 * "The album explores topics such" → "The lyrics explore topics such" ✅
 * Mention at the end of the singles sentence that they were in 2019 ✅
 * "It received positive reviews" → "The album received generally positive reviews" ✅
 * Target music critics to Music journalism ✅
 * "and considers it to be her" → "and considered it to be her" ✅
 * "most emotionally robust record to date" → "most emotionally robust record" as "to date" is not needed, especially when she may later release more ✅ Removed "to date".

Background and promotion

 * "Aṣa took a 5-year hiatus" → "Aṣa took a hiatus of five years" per MOS:NUM ✅
 * "music prior to unveiling plans to" → "music, prior to unveiling plans for releasing" ✅
 * "She told France 24 she spent" → "To France 24, she recalled having spent" ✅
 * "she announced the album's title" → "Aṣa announced the album's title" ✅
 * "she said the album's title depicts the place" → "she said the title Lucid depicts the place" ✅
 * "She also said some of the album's songs" → "Aṣa also said some of the songs" ✅
 * "her flat in Paris while others" → "her flat in Paris, while others" with the appropriate wikilink shown here ✅
 * "she said she wrote the album" → "she stated to have wrote the album" ✅
 * "plans for the album's release" → "plans for the release of Lucid" ✅
 * "to her critically acclaimed" → "to Aṣa's critically acclaimed" ✅
 * "Musically, it is a" → "Musically, the former is a" ✅
 * Are you sure the above sentence shouldn't be in the Composition section instead? ✅ Removed to the music and lyrics section.
 * [1][4][2] put in numerical order ❌ Don't know how to do this.
 * "previous albums in that it is" → "previous ones, in that it is" ✅
 * Target political to Music and politics ✅
 * This sentence is fine here despite discussing subject matter, since it is about the Background of the album ✅
 * The following three sentences; shouldn't they be in the Composition section instead? ✅ Removed to the music and lyrics section.
 * "drummer Marlon B and contains" → "drummer Marlon B, and contains" ✅
 * Target neo-soul to Neo soul ✅
 * [4][2] put in numerical order ❌ Don't know how to do this.
 * Target ballads to Sentimental ballad ✅
 * "in support of the album" → "in support of Lucid" and mention the tour year in this sentence ✅ added the month and year the tour commenced at the beginning of the sentence
 * "in major cities in" → "in major cities of" ✅
 * Target Eko Convention Centre to Eko Hotels and Suites ✅

Composition

 * Retitle to Music and lyrics ✅
 * "The album's opener "Murder in the USA", a" → "The opener of Lucid, "Murder in the USA", a" ✅
 * "it makes references to police" → "it makes references to police" ✅ I don't see a difference
 * "which narrates the story" → "that narrates the story" ✅
 * "said her mother's abusive relationship with her father" → "said the abusive relationship between her mother and father" ✅
 * "who offered an advice to" → "who offered advice to" ✅
 * Target Afropunk.com to Afro-punk ✅
 * Target vocal tone to Tone (linguistics) ✅
 * Wikilink pop-soul to itself ✅
 * "she cites arguments and" → "Aṣa cites arguments and" ✅
 * "is reminiscent of songs produced" → "is reminiscent of tracks produced" ✅
 * "about her desire to rip her" → "about a desire to rip her" ✅
 * "puts her through a heart break" → "puts her through a heartbreak" ✅
 * [6][2] put in numerical order ❌ Not sure what you want me to do here; I cannot swap both sources.
 * Remove wikilink on jazz ✅
 * "her worries and documents the" → "her worries, and documents the" ✅
 * Target uptempo to Tempo ✅
 * Remove wikilink on sentimental ballad ✅
 * Target Yoruba to Yoruba language ✅
 * "draining 5-year relationship" → "draining relationship of five years" ✅
 * "the strength she endured after the emotional turmoil she's been through" → "the strength that she endured, after having been through emotional turmoil" ✅
 * "The closing track "My Dear" is" → "The closing track to Lucid, "My Dear", is" ✅
 * "to "Happy People"; Aṣa sings" → "to "Happy People", with Aṣa singing" ✅

Singles

 * "The album's lead single "The Beginning" was" → "Lucid's lead single, "The Beginning", was" ✅
 * Mention what format the release was; do this for the other two singles as well ❌ Not sure about the format you're talking about.
 * I mean digital download and streaming, as in formats for release. --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:26, 10 June 2020 (UTC)


 * "on Instagram prior to releasing it" → "on Instagram, prior to its release" ✅
 * "second single "Good Thing" was" → "second single, "Good Thing", was" ✅
 * "The accompanying music video for the song was" → "The accompanying music video was" ✅
 * Mention that the video was released two months later ✅ Added it to the end of the sentence.
 * "who overcomes the urge to overdose" → "who overcomes the urge of overdosing" with the target fixed like this too ✅
 * "the album's third and final single "My Dear", along" → "the third and final single, "My Dear", along" ✅

Critical reception

 * "received positive reviews from" → "was met with generally positive reviews from" ✅
 * Remove what was praised, specifically, as that should solely be in the lead. ✅
 * Refs do not need to be at the end of the opening sentence because the section backs up that ✅ Removed refs.
 * "awarded the album a rating of 7.5 out of 10, commending Aṣa for documenting" → "commending the album for showing Aṣa documenting" ✅
 * "perspectives while criticizing the record" → "perspectives, though criticized it" ✅
 * "Chuks Nwanne of" → "Chuks Nwanne from" ✅
 * "awarded the album four-and-a-half stars out of five, characterizing it as" → "characterized the album as" ✅
 * "cohesiveness and said the record" → "cohesiveness, and said it" ✅
 * Put The Lagos Review quote into your own words in bits, since the quoting is heavy on this one. ✅ Shortened it.
 * "also notes that while it" → "also notes that while the album" ✅
 * "fails to outdo her last offering" → "failed to outdo her last offering with the album" ✅
 * "familiar lines while failing" → "familiar lines, while failing" ✅

Track listing

 * Add ref after "All tracks are written by Bukola Elemide." to verify this information. ✅
 * Are you sure you can't add producer info somewhere in this section? ✅ I added additional info.

Personnel

 * Add a ref at the top of this section, that the credits are adapted from. ✅

Release history

 * How is this various when the ref only sources a US release? Response: It was released in other regions other than the U.S. Do you want me to clutter the article with multiple iTunes links? I can do that if that's what is required.
 * Use the proper column for ref; see Jesus Is King for example. ✅
 * Chapter Two Records → Chapter Two ✅
 * Wagram Music → Wagram ✅

Final comments and verdict

 * after taking this on, since it was not a fail like falsely reported but needs fixes to not ultimately be one! --Kyle Peake (talk) 16:40, 31 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Medium is not a reliable source, it is a blog. Should be removed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 12:46, 9 June 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks for that reminder! --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:26, 10 June 2020 (UTC)
 * I may have to fail this soon if you haven't responded to the issues soon since it's been on hold for a while now. --Kyle Peake (talk) 16:40, 11 June 2020 (UTC)
 * ❌ will have to be given to this article unfortunately, due to it having the construction template planked on while the nominator has yet to respond to certain issues, meaning that the article comes under the immediate failure criteria. --Kyle Peake (talk) 11:06, 13 June 2020 (UTC)