Talk:Luka Dončić/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 19:06, 2 July 2018 (UTC)

I'll take this one, will post review in the next day or so. Kosack (talk) 19:06, 2 July 2018 (UTC)

Initial review

Infobox

 * Link Real Madrid in the caption.
 * I'm not a basketball editor so this is more of a query, should the Atlanta Hawks be listed under his career history as he was selected by the team before being traded? Or would he not have signed a contract with them? What's the normal procedure with this type of situation, if there is one?
 * Taking this over for User:Toiletpaper101 upon request. Generally, the Hawks should not be listed under career history because he never played for them. ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs ) ~ 23:32, 2 July 2018 (UTC)

Lead

 * "he is considered one of the best international prospects of his generation.", I'm always wary about statements like this. I think this could do with at least a couple of strong sources to support it.
 * Are three sources enough? ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs ) ~ 23:32, 2 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Link Liga ACB and EuroLeague.

Early life

 * Unlink Slovenia, per WP:OVERLINK no real significant relevance to the subject.
 * What makes his mother's salon prestigious? Unless there's a major reason why I think this is unnecessary WP:PUFFERY.
 * What is "Ljubljana's inner circle"?
 * As Doncic is Slovenian, the article should use football rather than soccer.

Youth career

 * "When Dončić was an eight-year-old", change to "When Dončić was eight".
 * "under head coach Jernej Smolnikar", is Smolnikar notable? This is a pretty long sentence as it is and if he has no page to link to and isn't notable then I don't think it's adding anything to the page.
 * "Dončić often requested his parents to practice", I think this could do with rewording it's sounding a bit odd and seems like he was practicing with his parents.
 * As Dončić is European, shouldn't his article be using honour rather than honor?
 * Unlink Real Madrid in the third paragraph, already linked in the paragraph above.
 * Unlink soccer in the third paragraph, already linked previously, and again change to football.
 * Unlink Spanish, per WP:OVERLINK.

Early years

 * Last sentence of the first paragraph is unsourced.
 * "being the youngest player of the league", should that be in the league?
 * "Making him the eleventh-youngest player to make their debut in the EuroLeague since the 2000–01 season.", this sentence would need to be linked to the previous in its current form. If it's a standalone sentence, perhaps "His appearance made him..."?
 * I would also think about rewording the sentence to "eleventh-youngest debutant..." to try and cut the size of that link.
 * Use Performance Rating Index (PIR) for the first usage.

2016-17 season

 * "in the round 11" > in round 11.
 * Unlink PIR, linked in previous paragraph.
 * "in the win of Real Madrid against Montakit Fuenlabrada, by a score of 92–76", this sentence is overcomplicated somewhat. "In Real Madrid's 92-76 victory against Montakit Fuenlabrada" perhaps?
 * ''"In Round 13", does Round need the capital letter here?

2017-18 season

 * "During the month of October" > During October.
 * Unlink EuroLeague MVP of the Round, already linked previously.
 * Unlink PIR, already linked previously.
 * "Dončić recorded a career-high 33 points, in Real Madrid's EuroLeague game against Olympiacos Piraeus, with Real Madrid losing 92–83 in overtime, that night", again a bit overcomplicated. "In Real Madrid's 92-84 EuroLeague defeat against Olympiacos Piraeus" perhaps? Also EuroLeague is linked previously so doesn't need it here.
 * "Spanish Liga ACB", it's already been mentioned that Liga ACB is Spanish previously so there's no need to repeat it here.
 * Halfway through this section the date format used in the rest of the article is reversed, e.g. March 30 becomes 30 March. Maintain one style for consistency.
 * Unlink Liga ACB in the second paragraph, linked previously in the article.
 * "Dončić part ways with Real Madrid." > parted.

Senior national team

 * Last sentence of the first paragraph is unsourced.

Trophies and awards

 * This section is largely unsourced.