Talk:Lynching of Peter Betters

Peer review
Assigned Peer Review — Preceding unsigned comment added by 164.68.42.75 (talk • contribs) 20:09, 6 October 2021 (UTC)

Nick
Content-wise I do not have much to critique. Obviously, the significance portion needs to be filled but I think you efficiently cover the event in as much necessary detail as you can provide considering the limited number of sources. I do think the lead section could be shortened though since it covers a lot of the primary information used in the background and most importantly the lynching itself. This is also my own personal opinion but I think you should try in some section of the background to describe the racial tensions that may have already existed in Jamestown and what made Martha Thomas a respected member of the community. Was it because she was simply a landowner or was there something she did to earn the admiration of those in Jamestown? I don't know if the sources you have can answer that question but I think explaining that would add greatly to why the lynching took place. The event itself though is incredibly interesting and I really am interested if you can find anything else that fleshes out those details I mentioned.

In terms of grammar and punctuation, nothing immediately stood out to me. I think the very matter-of-fact writing approach used in this article is perfect for a Wikipedia-style article. I also absolutely loved the quotes used here and their placement as they added a lot of emotional weight to the article particularly the final quote in the aftermath section. It gave the section the impact necessary to display how the Jamestown residents did not face repercussions for their actions and how the general public tacitly supported them. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Nick Katsikas (talk • contribs) 03:27, 14 October 2021 (UTC)

Josh
I think the lede section should be reduced, some of this information is relevant, just for the background section.

Specific fixes for the background:

-"she needed increased help around her property" should drop the word increased.

For the lynching section:

For the sentence "the small town had quickly" drop the word "small" here.

I think that it's certainly notable that both white and black people were participants in the lynching, this is not historically common and I think there should be a sentence dedicated to explaining the significance of this. Perhaps this will be in the significance section, which as other students have noted, needs to be filled in as well.

Matty
Hello! I think the lead of your article is a little bit too long and provides a little too much information that should rather be put in a specific section. I believe that the lead should only consist in two to three sentences briefly introducing the topic. Here, I think you should just briefly introduce Peter Betters: date of birth and death if you have them, where he was from, where he died, his race/ethnicity, etc. In another sentence, you could explain what happened to him, where and when. You could also put his name in bold at the beginning of the lead, as it is a common feature in Wikipedia articles. MathiIde (talk) 17:32, 11 October 2021 (UTC)

Maybe it could also be useful to specify Martha Thomas' race/ethnicity in the lead, as it provides the reader with important context regarding Peter Betters' lynching.

In the section "Background," the instance "For many years prior to her murder" is a little bit confusing; I would maybe word the sentence as follow: "Martha Thomas had been a well-respected resident of Jamestown (...)." I also have a hard time understanding what "other work" refers to in the sentence "When Thomas' husband died, however, she asked Betters to move out and rely on other work." Do you mean on another job or other people's work?

I don't think you need the "th" when giving dates (eg "June 12th" in "Background" and "Aftermath," "June 11th" in the lead), as the number should suffice. It might also be worth restating the year once in the "Lynching" part.

In the "Lynching" part, I am not sure you can start a sentence with "and." At the end of the section, I think you meant "was left hanging."

In the "Aftermath" part, I think "on" is missing before "June 12." I would also start a new paragraph after "(...) buried in a local cemetery" for the paragraph to be less heavy.

It looks like there is a problem with the "References" sections as well; the "[1]" and "[2]" are probably not meant to be there.

The notes look great and it is a very interesting article; it could be nice to have a part on the significance of Betters' lynching. MathiIde (talk) 21:43, 11 October 2021 (UTC)