Talk:Lynn Headwaters Regional Park

peer review
Hey guys,

So here are a few things I could see to help improve the page:

1.) I'm guessing the section above the table of contents where the double brackets are is going to be an introduction?

2.) Second sentence of Lynn Headwaters Regional Park: I rearrange the sentence to say "..there are many trails with varying difficulty including easy,..." -> I just felt like the sentence didnt introduce the idea of difficulty. This is minor though.

3.) The BC Mills House part is very casual. For example what are the exact dates it is open? And expansion on what the BC Mills House has to offer might be cool. This site has some more info. http://www.lynnvalleylife.com/blog/b-c-mills-house-the-past-in-our-park/

4.) I would put the safety section last and have the trails first

5.) In the overview section (Lynn Valley loop) there is a reference in the middle of one of the sentences. I believe they should be at the end.

6.) "slightly vigorous leisurely walk" sounds weird. Vigorous and leisurely are pretty opposite. I get what you're trying to say, that the distance makes it slightly vigorous but the walk is not that hard. It just needs rewording.

7.) The Access section of Lynn Valley Loop reads a little too much like a set of instructions, especially the first two sentences. The sentence with "As you walk over the bridge and past the rushing water..." You don't need the 'and' in that portion.

8.) The Names of the sections "Car" and "public transit" should be renamed with something like "getting there by car" for example.

9.) In the public transit section (Lynn Valley loop) the second sentence should read "This require you to walk down THE hill..." Missing THE.

10.)Also, No need for sentence that says "Board the bus" in the public transit section.

11.) Is the Granville station bus the only route to get there. How about Fibb's Exchange and other bus routes that would allow people from say burnaby to get to the trails? Try and include as much as you can there.

12.) Both the Lynn Peak Trail & Rice Lake look as though they aren't finished. Be sure to include lots of info for these including how long the trails are etc.

Looks good guys!

Geoffreymckendry2243 (talk) 17:46, 25 March 2014 (UTC)

Review and Suggestions
Lynn Headwaters Regional Park: -	Comma between North Vancouver and BC.

-	Maybe re-arrange the BC Mills house sentence I was like what is that? You could try “at the entrance to Lynn Headwaters Regional Park is the BC Mills house, open only during the summer months, it offers visitors information on the park history, logging practices, and natural history.”

Safety: -	Be more neutral here. Instead of saying the “park makes efforts to ensure hikers…” maybe say “ At the park there are many signs and safety regulations/ updates around to ensure safety for hikers”.

-	The getting lost section for me doesn’t really have relevance to the article as a whole maybe make it smaller or use it as an example of what the park might post in order for people to remain safe.

Trails: I like the idea of this section but I think it is very specific who are in the area and you may not be considering all the people from different provinces, countries etc. that will be looking at the page.

-It would be better if you include the Car and Public Transit sub-sections in a different area perhaps right after Trails before you take about the actual trails.

Overall I really liked this, definitely going hiking there but again it seemed specific to local readers. Maybe put in a section about the vegetation or wildlife one may encounter at the park. But I really enjoyed your use of pictures.

Acfredrikson (talk) 21:20, 20 March 2014 (UTC)

Suggestions from Abhi
This was a good article! It was nice to see some of the key trails of the park. Here are some suggestions to make this article a little bit better:


 * There are some brackets at the top of the page. I am just wondering if you forgot to delete those?


 * Put a caption with the picture thumbnail at the start of the article to put it into context especially with the small text on the sign


 * Need a reference for this sentence:
 * Lynn Headwaters Regional Park is an area of North Vancouver British Columbia, and is the largest of twenty-two regional parks in Metro Vancouver.


 * Break this sentence into two: The park makes efforts to ensure hikers are well prepared for the trails and signs on site offer information about current weather conditions, trail conditions, and proper gear.
 * Consider changing to: The park makes efforts to ensure hikers are well prepared for the trails. Signs on site offer information about current weather conditions, trail conditions and proper gear for hiking


 * The heading "Avoid getting lost" should have a more detailed paragraph associated with it rather than a list. Although it is hard to structure a paragraph from the points you have listed it makes it more meaningful than having a bunch of bullet points about things to do. By integrating it into a paragraph it gives you more room to elaborate on certain points such as "be visible so that rescuers can find you"


 * The pictures in the safety section seem a little disorganized. Try to ensure they fit within the constraints of that section and do not overlap into the next
 * Consider only putting one image in this section rather than two. Safety doesnt seem to be the primary purpose of the article so to have 2 pictures here and only 1 for each trail doesnt make much sense.


 * Link North Vancouver to its individual page in the trail overview section


 * This sentence is awkward and makes it seem as if you were talking to someone vs. an encyclopedia entry: o  First, to access the Lynn Headwaters Park entrance, you will walk or drive your vehicle to the end of Lynn Valley Road. From the parking lot and walking towards the information board you will find that trail conditions will be posted alongside a map of the trails (along with descriptions).
 * Consider changing to: Access to the Lynn Headwaters Park can be done by walking or driving a vehicle to the end of Lynn Valley Road. Within the parking lot of the park there is an information board that displays trail conditions as well as a map and descriptions of all the trails in the park.


 * The text and picture combo in the trails section is a little off
 * There are too many pictures interlaced with the text and it ruins the box like structure of the text. Try to keep all the pictures for this section to one side rather than having two on either side.
 * Also there is an edit tag for "Nerdreyes" at the end of the trails section so make sure you remove that


 * I like how there are a lot of pictures to draw our attention to what each of the trails look like but I feel there are too many pictures in this article. It would help to cut some of them out and focus on the key pictures you want to keep that will really attract people to the Lynn Headwaters Park.


 * It would help to add a link to Vancouver translink website in the "see also" section as you mentioned transit in the article


 * There is also an edit tag for "Lauraje" in the "see also" section so you should remove that

Hope that helped. Nice job!

Cheers,

Abhic93 (talk) 05:20, 23 March 2014 (UTC)

Hello, There were lots of good things about this page. Lots of handy information and the writing was clear. I think though, there could have been a few more comma's in the Access part. Or perhaps some sentences could be rearranged. The layout of the page would look nicer if you could move the first paragraph up so that it could be between the picture and the table of contents. There are instructions in have to do that in the "help: editing" section. The code for that is either  OR . I can't remember exactly but whatever the code is, it will move your contents box around so that it can be next to the writing in the first paragraph. Also, in order to do that, you may have to remove the first paragraphs heading. It won't show up in the table of contents, but it should be ok because, I take it, that the heading will be the same name of your Wikipedia page...?

One other thing. I think it would be easier to read if the Lynn Loop, Lynn Peak, and Rice Trail (not sure if I have the proper names) were all together in sequence - one after another. And then after that you could put the part of access to the park, car, transit, etc.

Hope this helps! Great page by the way. I liked all of the info on safety and how to get there. I think this would be a great resource for someone wanting to do the hikes/walks there. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Robyn001 (talk • contribs) 03:26, 25 March 2014 (UTC)

Comments from Ruth
This page is very interesting and I like the photos, but I think it needs more work:


 * Caption under photo?


 * Introduce the BC Mills House before telling us what it offers.


 * The Avoid Getting Lost section does not belong on this page. It should be on the Hazards of outdoor activities page. Remove the list (add it to the Hazards of outdoor activities if you want ) and link to the hazards page.


 * It seems to me that you didn’t have time to complete all the information about the Lynn Peak Trail and Rice Lake Trail??


 * Would it be worth including a map?


 * You concentrated too much on the details of the hikes etc. You should include some more background information about the park such as the history of the park (I am sure you can find out lots of information), how many people go hiking there a year, the ecology and climate of the park, conservation efforts at the park and lots of other things.
 * Isn’t access to the park and transport to the park fairly irrelevant to the trail you will hike? So why put this information under the Lynn Loop Trail section and not in its own section? e.g. Getting to the park.  If I am wrong then you need to explain this.


 * You need to think carefully about your sections and how you have split up your information.

With these improvement this page will make a great contribution to Wikipedia and getting people out to hike in the park!!

RuthVancouver (talk) 21:55, 27 March 2014 (UTC)

Feedback from Rosie
The advice from your peer reviewers is excellent. You should incorporate it when you make your revisions.

Rosieredfield (talk) 02:05, 28 March 2014 (UTC)
 * Your first paragraph should go above the Table of Contents.
 * Especially if you can't provide a map of the park, you should have a paragraph describing its extent, and what important features are included in it. It runs way back into the rugged mountain area (the complete watershed that flows into Lynn Creek).  It goes around the back of Grouse Mountain and up the sides to the ridge (I've done this rugged hike - years ago).
 * I bet you could get beautiful photos of the forest and the creek.
 * You only describe the easy 'front of the pak' trails. You should have a separate short section for the rugged backcountry access (Hanes Valley and Crown Pass, Coliseum, Mt. Burwell).
 * Move the 'Access' information out from under the Lynn Loop Trail info, since this is access info for the whole park.
 * Your second 'see also' link is broken.