Talk:Māgha Pūjā/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 17:21, 12 October 2019 (UTC)

Opening statement
In reviews I conduct, I may make small copyedits. These will only be limited to spelling and punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. For replying to Reviewer comment, please use ✅,, , ❌, , or , followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. — ♠Vami _IV†♠  17:21, 12 October 2019 (UTC)

Disclaimer: I am in good standing with the nominee, Farang Rak Tham, and have previously reviewed some of his articles. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  17:21, 12 October 2019 (UTC)

Broadness
Of the articles of yours I've reviewed, this is easily the least-developed, I think. And the shortest, of course. The article has a pretty tight focus on Thailand which, understandable, the subject matter began there, but makes it clear that Magha Puja is celebrated in much of Southeast Asia in addition to Thailand. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  17:21, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
 * Other Southeast and South Asian countries that celebrate Magha tend to usually do so within the context of some other festival, and Magha is less important. Also, other countries apart from Thailand that celebrate Magha tend to have less developed journalism. Still, I will try to find more sources about other countries.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 12:30, 13 October 2019 (UTC)
 * ✅. Expanded considerably. This time, I also used news sources that don't register much on Google News, especially Birmese and Cambodian news outlets.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 22:05, 16 October 2019 (UTC)


 * Have you considered merging the "Themes" and "Celebrations and observances" sections?
 * '"Themes" is more about the meaning, whereas "Celebrations and observances"deal with the practices.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 12:30, 13 October 2019 (UTC)


 * Is there nothing else to add to the "History" section? I'd like to see dates or ranges for the spread of this holiday to the other SEA countries.
 * See above. .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 12:30, 13 October 2019 (UTC)
 * ❌. Couldn't find more about this, apart from some bits in the sources used on the Thai Wikipedia. But that is only about Thailand.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 22:05, 16 October 2019 (UTC)


 * If at all possible, I'd like to see more about Magha Puja's relationship with other holidays and festivals. Its competition with Valentines seems pretty interesting.
 * -- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 13:02, 13 October 2019 (UTC)
 * I found a bit more information on the Thai Wikipedia. Will update later.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 22:05, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
 * ✅. Added all I could scrape from Thai sources.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 19:19, 18 October 2019 (UTC)


 * Could you explain briefly what merit-making is in the prose text? The how is here, but not the what or why.
 * ✅. I have put it in a note.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 12:30, 13 October 2019 (UTC)

Prose issues

 * A more effective use of Rama IV's reign for dating in the lead would be something like Celebration of Māgha Pūjā is first known of in the modern period, with the institution of it in Thailand, by King Rama IV in the mid-19th century.
 * -- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 12:30, 13 October 2019 (UTC)


 * and after the announcement a miraculous earthquake followed. I would hardly call an earthquake presaging the death of Christ or Mohammed "miraculous".
 * by supernatural. Note that the Buddha's death and attainment of Parinirvana is not seen as a sad thing by many Buddhists.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 12:30, 13 October 2019 (UTC)


 * Each mention of the Regions of Thailand should be chaperoned with a "the". See: [...] including the Shwe Settaw Pagoda Festival in the Magwe Region's Minbu Township [...]
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 12:30, 13 October 2019 (UTC)


 * The Wiki Commons category link should be under "See also"
 * There appear to be differences of opinion on this. I followed this guideline.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 12:30, 13 October 2019 (UTC)
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 18:54, 13 October 2019 (UTC)


 * Would it be possible to cram the "Translations of" template into the main infobox with an embed parameter? You could make this collapsible with the template I used at Ludwigsburg Palace.
 * I couldn't find a parameter that it could fit in. So i have removed the translations infobox entirely.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 12:44, 13 October 2019 (UTC)


 * two of the Buddha's disciples as his main disciples Replace one of these "disciples" with something else.
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 08:48, 19 October 2019 (UTC)

October 2019
Due to problems with the Internet provider, some of my edits have not succeeded. I will try again later. Apologies.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 12:30, 13 October 2019 (UTC)
 * This time, it did succeed.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 13:20, 13 October 2019 (UTC)
 * There are bits of pieces I have been able to add to the article, mostly from French-language sources. I have noticed a number of sources such as this one which have copied from this Wikipedia article, which only indicates how little info there is available and how much this Wiki article is needed.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 19:55, 13 October 2019 (UTC)
 * I have added quite some content now. I am RX-ing two more sources, but I don't expect miracles there. I have asked a Cambodian journalist I know to contribute sources, but no response yet. If you think the article is still lacking, the only thing I can think of is buying a subscription on the Matichon Thai news clipping archive, and scrape from there. But it would only be about Thailand...-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 19:24, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
 * Oh, and .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 19:25, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
 * Article is broad enough now by my perception. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  22:34, 18 October 2019 (UTC)