Talk:Magia (Shakira album)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Pedro João (talk · contribs) 19:47, 2 December 2013 (UTC)

Hi there, I'll be reviewing this. Hopefully I won't take a lot of time with this, because the article looks good overall.

Infobox

 * "June 1991" → replace with June 24, 1991 (we do have an actual release date for this)
 * Genres → where are the sources for these?
 * Replacing genres, citing source and adding notice. 和DITOR  E tails 21:32, 2 December 2013 (UTC)
 * Replacing genres, citing source and adding notice. 和DITOR  E tails 21:32, 2 December 2013 (UTC)

Lead

 * "The album is a collection" → replace "album" with "record" (so the word "album" won't be used on every instance that you're referring to Magia)
 * ✅ 和DITOR  E tails 21:32, 2 December 2013 (UTC)
 * "experience hanging out with males" → "the experience of hanging out with males"
 * ✅ 和DITOR  E tails 21:32, 2 December 2013 (UTC)
 * "dreams of being a coastal girl" → I really don't understand what you mean by this.
 * Does "living on the coast" make more sense. 和DITOR  E tails 21:32, 2 December 2013 (UTC)
 * "and she won an award at" → "and the album earned her an award at"
 * ✅ 和DITOR  E tails 21:32, 2 December 2013 (UTC)

Development and composition

 * "dreams of becoming a young coastal girl" → just like in the lead, I don't understand this expression of 'coastal girl'.
 * Does "living on the coast" make more sense. 和DITOR  E tails 21:32, 2 December 2013 (UTC)
 * "A Sony Music Columbia representative said that the recording process was simple and went perfectly fine. For Shakira, the process was problematic" → "A Sony Music Columbia representative claimed that the recording process was simple and went perfectly fine, although, for Shakira, the process was problematic"
 * ✅ 和DITOR  E tails 21:32, 2 December 2013 (UTC)

Release and promotion

 * "live performances would be held in locations" → "live performances were held in locations (...)"
 * ✅ 和DITOR  E tails 21:32, 2 December 2013 (UTC)
 * "was not able to attend due to her age" → "was not able to attend the ceremony due to her age (...)"
 * ✅ 和DITOR  E tails 21:32, 2 December 2013 (UTC)