Talk:Malvern Water (bottled water)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Yellow Dingo (talk · contribs) 09:02, 29 August 2016 (UTC)

I'll take this. - Yellow Dingo&#160;(talk) 09:02, 29 August 2016 (UTC)

1a

 * Lead and infobox
 * "water is a natural spring water" → "water is natural spring water" ✅
 * Link "Fissures" to Fissure ✅
 * "Fissures in the rock retain rain water, which slowly permeates through, escaping at the springs" → "Fissures in the rock retain rain water which then slowly permeates through before escaping at the springs" ✅
 * "The flow depends" → "The flow rate depends" ✅
 * The second paragraph doesn't really flow well. You go from talking about present day to talking about history. Then more history and then back to present day. Try to make it flow better by keeping it more in chronological order. It is also a bit confusing as you don't say if there is a plant now or, if there isn't, how the water is produced nowadays.✅
 * In the inbox capitalise "natural" as it is practically the start of a new sentence✅


 * History
 * 'grocers have bottled" → grocers bottled" ✅
 * "when with the aid of a Lottery Heritage grant," - missing comma between "when" and "with" ✅
 * "would be ceasing as of 3 November 2010" → "would be ceasing on 3 November 2010" ✅(rephrased)
 * "This is due" → "The decision was due" ✅(rephrased)
 * "is being sold" → "is going to be sold" ✅(rephrased)


 * Purity
 * "when during 2006 the rock that filters the water dried out" → "when the rock that filters the water dried out during 2006" ✅
 * "Consequently,the" - missing space ✅

2a & 2b

 * In the royalty section does the cite reference the entire paragraph or does it just reference the first sentence. If the first is true then move the cite to the end of the section. If the latter is true then find a cite for the second sentence ✅ - and expanded with additional refs
 * You need a cite for "The springs release an average of about 60 litres a minute." ✅
 * Fix the ref problem in ref #15 ✅ now No. 17.link works but is to WayBack machine
 * References 18 ✅ (not dead), 9, 5, 14 ✅ (MHAONBWaterleafletNorthernHillsrevisedOct10_000.pdf),
 * 8 and 15 are all dead


 * Link work in ref 12 to Malvern Gazette ✅

NOTE: These ref numbers are no longer in  sequence, could you  please let me know which  they  are again please. --Kudpung กุดผึ้ง (talk) 11:04, 2 September 2016 (UTC)

Ref numbers
Ok all ref numbers are as of this revision. I found the dead links using this tool.


 * Fix the red ref error in ref 16 ✅ his is now ref 17, or at least until I have added more content on the fly.
 * Link work in ref 13 to Malvern Gazette ✅ This is now Ref. 12
 * Refs 10, 19, 9, 6 and 16 are dead ✅ redundant refs removed, Dead links replaced with more recent URLs.
 * Bibliography ref 6 is dead ✅ online link removed. This is a published book, in print and available.
 * External links 1 and 2 are dead ✅ fixed and/or updated

- Yellow Dingo&#160;(talk) 01:32, 3 September 2016 (UTC) Forgot to ping you - Yellow Dingo&#160;(talk)</b> 01:45, 3 September 2016 (UTC)

Decision
Ok a bit of work to do. I'm putting this on hold - <b style="color:#FFCC33">Yellow</b> <b style="color:brown">Dingo&#160;<b style="color:BLUE">(talk)</b> 09:38, 29 August 2016 (UTC)

Just a little reminder about this, I see your almost done. - <b style="color:#FFCC33">Yellow</b> <b style="color:brown">Dingo</b>&#160;<b style="color:BLUE">(talk)</b> 08:14, 9 September 2016 (UTC)
 * . I will  have it  finished today  or tomorrow. --Kudpung กุดผึ้ง (talk) 11:17, 10 September 2016 (UTC)


 * I believe this is complete now. Many sources were redundant (2 different  sources for the same thing -  an old habit of mine). Other dead links replaced with  up-to-date sources. --Kudpung กุดผึ้ง (talk) 10:15, 12 September 2016 (UTC)


 * Looking good . I'll take a final look at the article tomorrow and I'l hopefully will be able to promote it. - <b style="color:#FFCC33">Yellow</b> <b style="color:brown">Dingo</b>&#160;<b style="color:BLUE">(talk)</b> 11:47, 12 September 2016 (UTC)


 * Final
 * Ok I'm now satisfied this article meets the criteria. Passing. Well done Kudpung and congrats on a nice article. - <b style="color:#FFCC33">Yellow</b> <b style="color:brown">Dingo</b>&#160;<b style="color:BLUE">(talk)</b> 02:31, 13 September 2016 (UTC)