Talk:Manilal Dwivedi/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Yashthepunisher (talk · contribs) 08:27, 18 July 2019 (UTC)

I will be reviewing this. Yashthepunisher (talk) 08:27, 18 July 2019 (UTC)


 * Lead
 * "was a Gujarati-language writer, poet, novelist and essayist, and a philosopher and social reformer." I think it will read better as, "was a Gujarati-language writer, poet, novelist, essayist, philosopher and social reformer.
 * Done


 * Avoid using words like 'greatly'. They are PEACOCK-ish and non-neutral.
 * Done - removed 'greatly'


 * I think the first para is quite disoriented. What Narmad thought of Manilal should be mentioned somewhere in the last para.
 * Done - moved to last para of lead


 * Lead shouldn't have references, but they should be sources elsewhere in the article.
 * Done - ref moved (with some content) to 'Social reform and educational writings.


 * Was he commonly known as Manilal? Make sure the naming follows MOS:SURNAME.
 * All the books (English, Gujarati, Hindi.. all) of history of Gujarati literature and other source refer him by 'Manilal' instead of his surname 'Dwivedi'.


 * "Manilal belongs to the Pandit Yuga (English: the Age of Scholars)." Sentences are not written with their translations like this. Remove the english meaning since its been explained in the latter part.
 * Done


 * The opening sentence of the third para should start with his name instead of a 'he'.
 * Done


 * How did he die? Mention that in the lead.
 * Done


 * Was he married or not? Mention that also in the lead.
 * Done


 * Did he receive any award or honour for his work? Ditto, if any.
 * He didn't receive any award. But one thing that we can add in the lead : He was invited to present a paper at the first Parliament of World Religions, held in Chicago in 1893.


 * Infobox
 * British India, Nadiad and Bombay presidency are linked twice.
 * Done - removed double link


 * You mention him as an 'editor' in the infobox, but not in the lead. Why so?
 * Done - mentioned in the lead


 * Link Pandit era.
 * Done


 * Early life
 * "Manilal was born to a Sathodara Nagar family at Nadiad, Gujarat, on 26 September 1858." The sentence order is not right. First mention his DOB, then the place.
 * Done


 * I don't see the relevance to mention his grand-father.
 * Done - removed


 * Is it relevant to mention Manilal inheriting some money and property? I mean what has it got to do with Manilal?
 * Done - removed


 * "On the day after Manilal's birth". You mean the day after Manilal's birth or...otherwise? Please clarify.
 * Done - clarified


 * "He joined Elphinstone College." He joined 'the' Elphinstone College.
 * Done


 * "Under pressure from his father to earn a wage." A 'the' is missing after 'Under'.
 * Done


 * A comma is missing after July 1880.
 * Done


 * Why 'Government High School' is in all caps? Was it the exact name of the school?
 * Done - removed capital letters


 * I think the 'social reformer' subsection fits better in 'Works'.
 * Done


 * His personal life and death subsection should be placed towards the end, like most articles. And the 'life' section should be renamed as 'Early life'.
 * Done


 * Personal life
 * At the age of thirteen --> At the age of 13.
 * Done


 * The 'personal life' delves too much into his ehm...personal life. I mean the article would benefit from a trimming of that section. There is a lot of redundant information in it.
 * Done - trimmed some part. See, what you think?


 * Social reformer
 * At the age of fifteen he, --> At the age of 15, he
 * Done


 * Wikilink theosophy.
 * Done


 * Death
 * Mention the name of Manilal's autobiography.
 * Done


 * "in the second term of the first year of college, and again a year later." This is very confusing. Why not write: Manilal states that he visited a brothel multiple times during his college years.
 * Done


 * This developed into secondary and then tertiary syphilis. --> This developed into secondary and then tertiary stage.
 * Done


 * "Manilal records an abscess on his neck in July 1898." Fix the tense of this sentence. It should be 'recorded' instead of 'records'.
 * Done


 * He died on the morning of 1October 1898, while lying on his stomach and writing at his home in Nadiad, in the presence of friends.
 * Done


 * Literary work
 * Reference 4 should be at the end of second para's first sentence.
 * Done


 * There are several inconsistencies with the sentences' tense. Like some are written in past-tense, some in present.
 * Done - reworded with past tense


 * "has had lasting popularity." This is pretty vague. Popularity how?
 * reworded: 'is popular in Gujarati language'


 * "He adapted Lytton's novel Zanoni". Mention Lytton's full name.
 * Done


 * Dhirubhai Thaker noted that. --> Writer Dhirubhai Thaker noted that.
 * Done


 * His direct quote should be under quotation marks.
 * Done


 * Religious and philosophical writings
 * The sentence about his second book in the first para is too long. Try breaking it for a better read.
 * Done - See, what you think?


 * The reference glued to 'mesmerism' should be placed at the end of the sentence.
 * Done


 * Controversies
 * He criticized reformers. --> criticised. Indian English.
 * Done


 * "Manilal severely criticized." Avoid using strong wordings as 'severly'. Also, fix the Indian English.
 * Done


 * Images
 * Add a caption to the infobox image.
 * Just mentioned 'Manilal Dwivedi' in caption. There are no other details available about image.


 * All the images shouldn't be placed on the right side. Per MOS:IMGLOC.
 * One image has been moved to left side


 * Sources
 * Ref 2, 16, 17, 18 and 24 should be formatted properly.
 * See the references. Let me know if there are still any problem. (References have been reordered: 16 --> 17, 17 --> 18, 18 --> 19 and 24 --> 27)


 * I have an issue with ref 2 at the second para of 'Early life' section. Which sentence is mentioned from page 14–16 and which from 35–36? This needs to be fixed.
 * Done


 * Some of the queries are still unanswered. Kindly fix them. The rest looks fine. Yashthepunisher (talk) 14:52, 19 July 2019 (UTC)
 * Done. Have a look. --Gazal world (talk) 15:23, 19 July 2019 (UTC)

That's it from me. Yashthepunisher (talk) 15:56, 18 July 2019 (UTC)


 * The article has passed with flying colours. Great work! Yashthepunisher (talk) 16:10, 19 July 2019 (UTC)