Talk:Manuel Buendía/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Curly Turkey (talk · contribs) 04:28, 11 November 2013 (UTC)


 * Thank you for taking the time to review this article. ComputerJA ( ☎  •  ✎  ) 04:45, 11 November 2013 (UTC)

Prose
Feel free to disagree with any of the feedback that follows—it's not my intention to force a particular style on any article.

Lead

 * as a compund adjective, hyphenate "most-read"
 * "in his column"
 * as a translation, "Private Network" should be in quotes
 * "recognized largely"
 * because of the commas, this seems like two different things. How about "crruption in Mexico's state-owned petroleum company Pemex"?
 * "all" is redundant
 * "and was walking"
 * "shot him from behind several times, killing him"—seems obvious, but ti's grammatically ambiguous whether his death was a direct result of the shooting
 * "evidence" is an uncountable noun, and so has no plural form
 * "In"
 * "at least" implies it could have been six, seven, or more years. Try "over" instead
 * ✅ I have address the concerns above. ComputerJA ( ☎  •  ✎  ) 22:51, 12 November 2013 (UTC)

Early life

 * "in his hometwon"
 * "collaborated with"? (= "was politically involved with"); "contributed to"? (I get the feeling this is what you meant)
 * "Though he sympahtized"
 * I think you mean "lost interest in": disinterested
 * "on 21 June 1941"
 * ✅ I have address the concerns above. ComputerJA ( ☎  •  ✎  ) 22:51, 12 November 2013 (UTC)

Journalism career

 * "on 19 January 1955"
 * "the daily column Red Privada ("Private Network")
 * "he left to work at the El Día newspaper" or "he left to work at the newspaper El Día"
 * "wrote for the political column" if he was not the only contributor, "wrote the political column" if he was the sole contributor
 * translation in quotes
 * period needs to be outside the quotation mark
 * again, "wrote the column Concierto Político ("Political Concert")" or "wrote the column Concierto Político ("Political Concert")"
 * "advisor to". Was he the only advosor?  If not, change "the" to "a"
 * maybe "in 1973. That year," or "in 1973. The same year,"
 * "the journalist held until"
 * I think "Buendía left on 17 August 1978 to work at El Universal, a newspaper based in Mexico City" is better
 * "At this newspaper"
 * again, Buendía wrote for the column Red Privada or Buendía wrote the column Red Privada" Since it says "in his column" next, I guess we want "wrote the column"
 * drop "all"
 * "published names"?
 * I think "Although he was quick to publish controversial reports" reads better
 * "most-read"
 * drop "several"
 * "of the second half"
 * ✅ I have address the concerns above. ComputerJA ( ☎  •  ✎  ) 22:51, 12 November 2013 (UTC)

Death

 * "in a parking lot"
 * "perpetrating" is redundant
 * "then-head"
 * "Los Tecos ("The Owls")"
 * "then" is unnecessary
 * "specifically those of the DFS"
 * ✅ I have address the concerns above. ComputerJA ( ☎  •  ✎  ) 22:51, 12 November 2013 (UTC)

Investigation

 * I think "Excelsior's front page read on the day after the killing" reads better
 * "over five years"
 * "apprehended in 1989"
 * he wasn't "former" president at the time
 * no comma before "respectively"
 * drop the "and"
 * maybe "due to unstable health" is better
 * "doubted"
 * "believed", "remained"
 * ✅ I have address the concerns above. ComputerJA ( ☎  •  ✎  ) 22:51, 12 November 2013 (UTC)

Published books

 * Translations in quotations
 * ✅ ComputerJA ( ☎  •  ✎  ) 22:51, 12 November 2013 (UTC)

Images

 * Only one image. It's a Fair Use image, and it has an appropriate rationale.

———Curly Turkey (gobble) 06:13, 11 November 2013 (UTC)
 * Damn, thanks for the thorough review. I'll get to it on Tuesday afternoon (I've got an essay to work on and an exam to study for in just two days). See you around. ComputerJA ( ☎  •  ✎  ) 07:46, 11 November 2013 (UTC)
 * Take your time! Curly Turkey (gobble) 08:00, 11 November 2013 (UTC)

Hey, Curly Turkey. I have address all of your concerns. I want to thank you for the thorough review. It's been a good experience to work with you, and I'm glad to see the details I need to start fixing to keep improving my English. Thanks and let me know if you have more concerns. Regards, ComputerJA ( ☎  •  ✎  ) 22:51, 12 November 2013 (UTC)

Passed. I'm satisfied that this article meets the Good Article criteria. Hope to see some more! Curly Turkey (gobble) 01:01, 13 November 2013 (UTC)