Talk:María Antonieta Rodríguez Mata/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 17:55, 3 April 2020 (UTC)

Opening statement
In reviews I conduct, I may make small copyedits. These will only be limited to spelling and punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. For replying to Reviewer comment, please use ✅,, , ❌, , or , followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. — ♠Vami _IV†♠  17:55, 3 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the thorough review. I've addressed the points below. Please let me know if there is anything else needed to be done or if you disagree with any of points below. I look forward to the second part of the review. MX ( ✉  •  ✎  ) 18:37, 7 April 2020 (UTC)
 * I've removed Garza's mention from the article. I think I've addressed everything. Thanks again! MX ( ✉  •  ✎  ) 00:46, 9 April 2020 (UTC)

Prose

 * She was very close to her father, a local Pemex laborer, and identified mostly with him. Her relationship with her mother was also strong and dependent, but she was closer to her father. Condense.
 * See here for the changes.


 * and a worry for being successful Change "for" to "about".


 * The details of Ramírez Olvera's case was based were based.


 * The FBI reportedly confirmed that Ramírez Olvera was wanted on marijuana possession, drug conspiracy and money laundering. Add "charges" to the end.


 * FBI supervisor Rogelio de la Garza also backed up the state police's story saying that Rodríguez Mata and Cárdenas Gutiérrez acted professionally. by saying.


 * Citations [7] and [8] are from the same source; Combine them.
 * ❌ They are from the same source but cover different pages. The PDF case from the Human Rights Commission is actually quite hard to read because it includes a number of PDFs cases merged into a single one. The info is thereby very repetitive and disorganized, so I was more specific when citing the pages. Otherwise readers will have trouble reading the entire case. Citations [5] is also another ref used from the same source.


 * On 10 August, she was extradited to the U.S. to face drug trafficking and money laundering charges in S.D. Tex. What year, and the S.D. Tex.


 * Former U.S. Ambassador to Mexico Tony Garza said that Rodríguez Mata's extradition was a sign of collaboration between justice officials in Mexico and the U.S. He reiterated that any person, including police officers, who violate the law and abuse citizens' trust would be brought to justice. Overly long, and superfluous. The article is not about Garza.
 * I removed the last part. If you think Garza shouldn't be in the article I can remove him altogether.
 * I would remove him altogether since he doesn't really add anything except a comment. He can stay if Rodríguez Mata's extradition caused a media hubbub, or if it did indeed reflect some special new cooperation between Mexico and the United States. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  09:27, 8 April 2020 (UTC)
 * I've removed him altogether.


 * How much more on Rodríguez Mata's police career can you dig up?
 * Ah, good question. The earliest mention (both online and in print) that I was able to find from Rodríguez Mata's police career was from that 1995 case. I don't have the entire case in print so I was only able to cite what was visible via snippet views. The library I use is closed until further notice but I could probably request the info. Either way, I'm assuming you're asking because her Police career section is essentially just two human right violation cases. That's sadly all I was able to find. Unlike other drug lords, she was a police officer and not a police chief/commander before joining organized crime, so her police career wasn't covered in the media. I'm a bit unsatisfied with this section too but after extensive research I think there isn't more info about her in the press. I'd be interested in requesting the Mexican government via their transparency law to provide me with info on her police career, but that would probably be a primary source.
 * Oof, been there before. I will strike this bullet-point off, since your answer is satisfactory. The use of declassified government documents would be totally legitimate here, by the way. Sometimes we as Wikipedia editors can't help but use primary sources. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  09:27, 8 April 2020 (UTC)