Talk:Marais des Cygnes massacre/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 23:34, 1 November 2020 (UTC)

I will do a little copy editing. Please flag up anything you are unhappy with.


 * "as part of a period of political instability" Maybe "as part of" → 'during'?
 * Done
 * "Free-Staters" needs disambiguating.
 * Oops. Fixed
 * Perhaps introduce Brown? 'The abolitionist ...'?
 * Done
 * "resulted in a pro-slavery majority in Kansas leadership" This isn't grammatical. And who or what constituted the "leadership"?
 * Is "resulted in a pro-slavery majority in the Kansas territorial government," any better?
 * "Free Staters": why the uppercase initial letters?
 * Both Free Staters and free staters are used, as well as Border Ruffians and border ruffians. Gonna stick with lowercase for all for consistency
 * "the Sack of Lawrence was committed by" Consider "committed" → 'carried out'.
 * Done
 * "several buildings were burned". Burned, or burned down?
 * Burned down, clarified
 * "a Veterans of Foreign Wars post donated the site" I assume that this means something to Americans. But it looks like a typo to me.
 * Yeah, the VFW is a big veterans organization in parts of America. My state considers the game of bingo to be gambling and tightly regulates it, but the VFW is given a special exemption to do bingo above the legal limits. Such is life in the Bible Belt.  I attend a Baptist College that forbids on-campus dancing
 * I assume that a "post" in this context means something like 'branch'.
 * I really can't think of anything polite to say in response, but you have my sympathies. How long is your sentence?
 * A "post" is what the VFW calls each branch. I can change the wording if you'd like,, but "post" is the most accurate word to use in this context. Hog Farm Bacon 21:35, 3 November 2020 (UTC)


 * Suggest a paragraph break before "From 1961–1962".
 * Sure, done.  - All addressed so far. Hog Farm Bacon 21:13, 3 November 2020 (UTC)

Gog the Mild (talk) 17:40, 2 November 2020 (UTC)