Talk:Marguerite Frick-Cramer/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Mujinga (talk · contribs) 10:06, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

Review

 * Taking this on as part of WikiProject Good articles/GAN Backlog Drives/January 2022 Mujinga (talk) 10:06, 3 January 2022 (UTC)


 * I'm afraid I'm going to have to quickfail this as the article is far from meeting several of the criteria. Comments were made on the talkpage in September about how to improve the article and to build on them, I'll leave some suggestions here. I have no doubt that with a bit of work it can be a GA in the future.


 * The lead: per MOS:LEAD the lead section should summarize what comes below and doesn't need citations since the info will be cited below instead; per MOS:LEADLENGTH should be two pararaphs; make redirect from Renée-Marguerite Cramer


 * The article needs a copy edit for example a picture caption reads "Another portray by Fred Boissonnas, apparently from 1942" and "After losing control of the major public offices in Geneva, his Patrician class[clarification needed] turned to banking and philanthropic activities at the end of the 19th century," ends on a comma.


 * The sentence above is way too close to the source which reads "Her family belonged to the local bourgeoisie, the social class that had turned to banking and philanthropic activities at the end of the 19th century, after losing control of the major public offices in Geneva"


 * Further that source gives a 77 per cent match on earwig which is way to high, even with the quotations.


 * Further (and as already suggested on the talkpage) the blockquotes are incorrectly formatted and would be better off merged into the text


 * The selected works section is too big and should not have external links in it. Purge the links and keep maybe three of her better known works.


 * All the "clarification needed" tags need to be dealt with


 * As a last comment, the writing needs work to make it flow rather than being a collection of sentences. It would help perhaps to read some other GAs about women to see how this article can be improved. Good luck with it and let me know if something doesn't make sense. Mujinga (talk) 10:34, 3 January 2022 (UTC)