Talk:Markus Rosenberg/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 06:44, 8 August 2020 (UTC)

I'll pick this one up, will post review as soon as possible. Kosack (talk) 06:44, 8 August 2020 (UTC)

Lead

 * "Swedish former footballer" > Swedish former professional footballer
 * "in Allsvenskan club Malmö FF", in doesn't work here, should be with.
 * Put "scoring 6 goals" in commas.
 * Refs are generally unnecessary in the lead if the information is sourced in the body, so refs 3, 4 and 5 don't really need to be there.

Malmö FF

 * "he earned a nickname "Sillen"", the construction of the sentence means the would work better than "a". Also, as a foreign language nickname, we could do with a rough translation.
 * "resulting in him being placed on the substitute bench, as well as, his own injury concern", sentence is a little jumbled with double comma breaks. I think this could be phrased better.
 * End of the second paragraph is unsourced.
 * "He finished the 2002 season with 13 appearances in all competitions", again paragraph ends unsourced. A basic stats reference would cover these.
 * "in the opening match of the season, in a 2–0 win against Örebro", second "in" could be dropped here.
 * Refs should be listed in numerical order.
 * "to be overshadowed with the likes of Skoog, Ijeh and Andreas Yngvesson" > overshadowed by the likes...
 * Link the first mention of UEFA Cup.
 * "Until the end of the 2003 season, Rosenberg went on to make 21 appearances scoring five times in all competitions", the "until the end, phrase doesn't really work with the summary I would say.
 * "After his loan spell at Halmstads BK ended", what loan spell? There's no mention of this previously?
 * " season and started the whole game", can't really start the whole game.
 * Link Afonso Alves.

Loan to Halmstads BK

 * I can see why you've put this in its own section, but it's making the timeline a little odd.
 * Afonso Alves is linked here but mentioned previously, link the first mention.
 * Link hat-trick.

Ajax

 * The picture caption is not a complete sentence so doesn't require a period.
 * "a multi-million contract", include the currency that's mentioned here.
 * The ref here (96) doesn't seem to make any mention of the club underachieving?
 * "the newly born Eredivisie play-offs", born isn't the right word here.
 * Second image caption isn't a complete sentence either.
 * "started the whole game", again the phrase started a whole game doesn't really make sense.
 * End of the last paragraph is unsourced.

Werder Bremen

 * "keeping him until 2011", this reads a little informal.
 * "On the last game of the season" > in the last game...

2007–08 season

 * dipped > dip
 * "in a 8–1 thriller against Arminia Bielefeld", an should be used here rather than a. Also, thriller is too journalistic and I wonder how much of a thriller it could have been in such a lopsided scoreline.
 * "ahead of Diego with thirteen goals" > 13 goals. Maintain consistency with similar figures in close succession. Same with the eighteen directly after this.
 * This last section is also unsourced.

2008–09 season

 * Link Hugo Almeida.
 * "Despite the injury he sustained", what injury?

2009–10 season

 * "suffered a knee injury that kept him out of action with a knee problems", sentence is kind of repeating itself here.
 * "Due to strong competitions" > competition

Loan to Racing Santander

 * "came on as a 64th minutes", should be minute and I'm assuming substitute is missing from the end?
 * "for a picking two cards", doesn't make sense.
 * "served a one-match ban.[192][193] After serving a one-match ban", repetition.
 * "to continue to be playing in Europe for a couple of years", sentence is quite clunky.

2011–12 season

 * "following a loan spell at Racing de Santander", as we've already had his loan spell I would change this to "his" loan spell. No need to repeat the link for Santander either.
 * "At the end of the 2011–12 season, he made 34 appearances scoring 11 times in all competitions", I know what you're saying but the wording implies that all these appearances and goals came at the end of the season. This could be reworded, plus no source.
 * "Because of his aerial ability and his strength, Rosenberg was considered a dangerous header of the ball, but he is also dangerous when having the ball at his feet", It's generally not a good idea to start a sentence with because and this sentence needs some attribution. Right now it sounds more like you saying that rather than a source.
 * Last part of this section is unsourced.
 * Hugo Almeida is linked here but mentioned previously.

West Bromwich Albion

 * Not a fan of these one or two sentence opening paragraphs that are used in some sections.