Talk:Mary Florence Potts/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 09:03, 4 October 2020 (UTC)

Doing this review for the GAN October 2020 Backlog Drive. MWright96 (talk) 09:03, 4 October 2020 (UTC)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

Infobox

 * The birth and death places are missing from the infobox
 * Added.

Biography

 * "Her husband passed away in 1901," - predeceased her
 * Changed.


 * "and she became the co-owner of Potts Manufacturing Company with Oscero by 1910. Their company produced optical goods." - think the text in bold can be merged into the preceding sentence
 * Merged.


 * "She passed away on June 24, 1922" - more formal; died
 * Changed.


 * The Morning Post says she died in Baltimore and was buried at New Camden Cemetry
 * Added.

Inventions

 * "The iron was designed with comfort and convenience in mind. It replaced the metal handle which was prone to getting hot with a cool wooden one that was more comfortable to hold." - I think merging these sentences will help matters here
 * Merged.


 * "The iron shape was double-pointed for operating in both directions. It was made of hollow rather than solid metal." - these two sentences could be better off merged together
 * Merged.


 * "that was a poor conductors" - conductor
 * Changed.


 * "user like its predecessor with old-styled conventional solid metal did." - the word indiciated in bold isn't needed IMO
 * Removed, along with "old-styled" which felt redundant.


 * "was that they didn't" - did not
 * Changed.


 * "weighed around 5 pounds (2.3 kg) to 10 pounds (4.5 kg)" - weighed around 5 ti
 * I used "to" and I suppose that is what was intended.


 * "prevent burning the fingers." - either burning of the fingers or burned fingers will be better than the current version
 * Went with the latter.

Legacy

 * "The Pott's iron mechanism was used worldwide through the twentieth century" - 20th
 * Changed.


 * "Her innovation of a removable handle mechanism of 1871" - in
 * Changed.


 * "Gillette's application was a removable disposable blade and reinsertion of a sharp blade" - think the grammar in this portion of text can be improved here
 * Rewrote.