Talk:Mary Rose/2010/February

a few copy-edit queries
I'm embarrassed to say that I wasn't quite sure what "broadside" meant. Know I know from having followed the link. While the link needs to be retained, it could have a brief glossing on the spot. Or not, since it might clutter what is otherwise a neat few sentences there. I don't know.

I removed "extant", but if it's desirable to stress the concept of the survival of that kind of knowledge (i.e., we're lucky, or it's rare), maybe reinstate.

I removed "precise" because of the repetition of ise ise, even though pronounced differently: "The precise cause of the demise". But I don't know whether it's necessary for the meaning.

Repetition needs to be watched; I know this only too well from my own writing. Why won't someone help to build a bot or script that flags close repetitions of non-grammatical words? I've asked. :-)

"In 1978, the newly formed Mary Rose Trust began the process of fully excavating and then raising the hull. In the last step of one of the most complex and expensive projects in the history of maritime archaeology the wreck of the Mary Rose was raised in October 1982." It seemed repetitive, so I removed "and then raising" (which was my wording anyway, to replace "followed by ...". I hope I haven't mangled it.

It's gotta be in BrEng, by the rules. I presume you prefer "ize", which is permissible but less common.

Not sure "musical instruments" deserves a link, unless there's a section-link that is more specific to ships, or a daughter article: "to the history of musical instruments". Musical instruments is a common term.

"Remained" and "remnant" are cognate; I'm trying to think of how to reword that to avoid the rep. Remnant is kind of nice.

Link to "Spain" is too common: I've made it more specific, which is acceptable: "Spain#Imperial_Spain".

"War had broken in 1508"—those few sentences don't make it clear who was at war with whom. The readers shouldn't have to hit the Cambria link to find out who was conspiring against Venice. If the League initilly included France, the ", but" is OK; if it didn't, "... and ..." is better.

"England had close economic ties with Spain through its possessions in the Low Countries and the young Henry" I guess "its" is clear enough.

I've taken out "the young" except on its first occurrence. Tony  (talk)  04:30, 27 December 2009 (UTC)


 * Thank you very much, Tony. Those all seemed like relevant points and I've tried to amend all of them. Let me know if anything still seems unclear.
 * Peter Isotalo 18:34, 28 December 2009 (UTC)

Caption for first pic under conservation reads: "Between December 1985 and July 1985". I'm presuming this should be "December 1984" but I'll let someone who actually knows something about the topic address this. Phil wink (talk) 23:21, 22 February 2010 (UTC)


 * Fixed.
 * Peter Isotalo 09:57, 23 February 2010 (UTC)