Talk:Mary Two-Axe Earley/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: BennyOnTheLoose (talk · contribs) 22:37, 1 October 2020 (UTC)

Happy to discuss, or to be challenged on, any of my review comments. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:37, 1 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Copyvio and plagiarism check
 * 42% match found on Earwig's Copyvio Detector. This is due to direct attributed quotes, names (e.g. of organisations or conferences), or common phrases, and despite the relatively high percentage match, I don't think there is any issue here. I also checked the other four matches found, with the same outcome.


 * Images
 * Fair use picture of Mary Two-Axe Earley has appropriate rationale. (I did a Google images search and no freely-licenced result was found.)
 * Kahnawake picture is public domain.
 * Captions seem fine.


 * Infobox
 * Years active starts with 1968 - but 1968 is not in the article body. Should it be 1966 or 1967?
 * I've changed it to 1967 (I think that's the earliest confirmed activism in the article, when she founded Equal Rights for Indian Women). Alanna the Brave (talk) 12:27, 2 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Early life
 * "was a Mohawk" is in the lead and reflected in the infobox, whereas this section doesn't explicitly state it. Is there enough already here (e.g. place of birth) to cover this?
 * I think the info included should be enough to make it clear: her father was Mohawk, and she was born/grew up on a Mohawk reserve. I'd say most other biographical articles use the same contextual info to communicate nationality/culture. Alanna the Brave (talk) 12:27, 2 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Background
 * Victorian era could be wikilinked.
 * (I wasn't sure about the phrase "busy living a happy life", but looking at several sources it does seem reasonable.)
 * I've linked "Victorian-era" and removed the word "busy" (I think that's less awkward-sounding). Alanna the Brave (talk) 12:27, 2 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Fight for change
 * (Canada's History source is available on EBSCO Host, verified.)
 * Optional: Consider rewording the start of one of the paragraphs starting "In 1969..." / "In 1974..." so there aren't two consecutive paragraphs with a similar opening.
 * Reworded! I always struggle with this. Alanna the Brave (talk) 12:27, 2 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Aftermath
 * Looks fine.


 * Awards and honours
 * Optional: Consider rewording the start of one of the paragraphs starting "In 1979..." / "In 1990..." so there aren't two consecutive paragraphs with a similar opening.
 * "received the inaugural Governor General's Persons Case Award" is a wording that makes it read to me as though she was the only recipient, but I believe (from the sources and wikilinked article) that there may have been other awardees at the same time.
 * I've reworded one of the paragraphs and removed the word "inaugural". Alanna the Brave (talk) 12:27, 2 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Death
 * "Two-Axe Earley lived at Kahnawake for the rest of her life" - I think the source says this was from 1969 until her death, might be worth mentioning a date here as the reference to moving back in 1969 is a few paragraphs earlier in the article, and there are events covered after that.
 * Fair point -- I've adjusted it to "Two-Axe Earley continued living at Kahnawake for the rest of her life". Is that clearer? Alanna the Brave (talk) 12:27, 2 October 2020 (UTC)


 * References
 * All seem to be reliable sources, appropriately cited.


 * Further reading
 * Looks fine.


 * External links
 * Seem fine.


 * Lead
 * Re: the International Women’s Year conference, The article body has "receiving national and international attention" whilst the lead has " the media's attention" - I think these are a bit different, and suggest using either term (or a new one) in both places.
 * Consider wikilinking "band council" here and in the article body. (Is Band government appropriate?)
 * I've adjusted the "attention" sentence in the lead for consistency, and I've linked "band council" (Band government does look appropriate). Alanna the Brave (talk) 12:27, 2 October 2020 (UTC)

Hi,, thanks for all your work on this interesting article. I only have some fairly minor comments above, very happy to discuss any of these. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 09:16, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review! Your comments are very sensible, and I think I've finished addressing the issues you've raised. Let me know if you think anything else still needs work. Alanna the Brave (talk) 12:27, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks, . I'm happy to pass this for GA now. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 12:55, 2 October 2020 (UTC)