Talk:Mary Wittenberg/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

If you have any questions or concerns about this review, let me know. I will be watching this page, so if you have any comments this is the best place to communicate. Thanks, -Mitico (talk, contribs) 16:53, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * GA review (see here for criteria)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * Note - I added more to the infobox photo caption.
 * No edit wars etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * Note - I added more to the infobox photo caption.
 * Note - I added more to the infobox photo caption.


 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

Initial comments
My initial impression is that this article is short, but well-referenced. I will be especially concerned with GA criteria 3a (broad in coverage). There are no deadlinks or links to disambiguous pages.

Couple quick items to start:
 * 1) Since this is a biography adding the persondata template per WP:DATA would be helpful.
 * I am in the process of trying to get her birthdate. I will take care of this when I receive it (hopefully I will)
 * Got it - added to infobox, category, and added persondata template


 * 1) Wittenberg is her married name.  Her maiden name should be mentioned in the article too.
 * Gosh, I completely missed this. Thanks. I will add it when I get the dob, since as far as I can tell, a good way to add it is with the dob, like it is on Priscilla Presley (I can't find a wp:mos guidelines about maiden names.)
 * I added it per wp:mos for bio


 * I will follow up with a detail prose & reference review.

Detailed review

 * Lead
 * programs that draw over 300,000 yearly participants. The lead should not introduce content that is not in the body.
 * Added to 4th para in NYRR section


 * The lead focuses entirely on here NYRR work. Consider mention her running career and being a lawyer.
 * I added a bit about her winning the Marine Corps Marathon.


 * Early
 * played sports that her father coached, including baseball and basketball. is very close to the source played the sports that her father coached — baseball, softball, and basketball. -- restructure to avoid over-similarity.
 * Done.


 * She attended Canisius College, where she was on a champion West Side Rowing Club team, -the source says she was a member of west side prior to college.
 * Thanks for catching that. Changed.


 * Should cheerleading be mentioned?
 * Included.


 * NYRR
 * first female partner for her law firm. - do you have another source for this? The source says first on her "team" -- not necessarily in the firm's history.
 * Great catch, I misread that.


 * In 2005, Wittenberg -short paragraph should be worked into another.
 * Done.


 * similar to NASCAR's Sprint Cup -is this cited, or an original analogy
 * Actually, this ref compares it to NASCAR's cup, with the cumulative standings . Note that Sprint merged with Nextel, so the name changed:
 * ''Wittenberg: We’re introducing for our sport a Nextel Cup approach: Who is going to be the best marathoner over a two-year period? That requires consistency: performing at the top of your game over several of the individual events. It’s a nice combination of some of the best of what several other sports have

''
 * During this event, Ryan Shay passed away while competing. -I think the significance of this could be explained at little more.
 * I included that he was a collegiate star and that he died of a heart attack. I changed the ref to one that has the heart attack cause


 * Personal
 * There seems to be enough available to expand this section a little (couple sentences). My recommendation would be to write about her family/personal stuff, then finalize the article with her personal running information.  Since she no longer runs marathons, I assume the the 18/20 races are not marathons. Please confirm.
 * Yes, she no longer runs marathons. I included something about that. I did a bit more about her training, and an interesting bit about her running pre-dawn on the biggest NYRR day - when the NYC marathon occurs.

Overall Some minor items to be resolved. All & all, a nice article on an interesting subject. She is a semi-public figure so there is not a lot of information coverage of her. I am putting on hold. If you have any questions let me know. Mitico (talk, contribs) 19:01, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Great feedback. I appreciate it. This is my first time in this process.  and I look forward to more. This puts the "C" in collaborative!


 * I will take care of the rest of the stuff when I get her dob.
 * DOB and maiden name are put in. Please let me know if there's anything else to take care of. Thanks again for your excellent feedback. --Omarcheeseboro (talk) 00:29, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

GA Pass - After reviewing the changes and re-reading the article I believe this article meets all the criteria of a good article. Great work Omarcheeseboro! Thank you for doing your part, and congrats on your first GA. Any questions, let me know. -Mitico (talk, contribs) 14:19, 3 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Thank you very much Mitico. --Omarcheeseboro (talk) 15:25, 3 March 2009 (UTC)