Talk:Mason Carter

A quick review
Hi, as per the request at WP:MHA, I have carried out a quick review of this article. I have the following suggestions for if you wish to take this further:


 * in the infobox United States Army is listed twice in the branch of service section;
 * Done --Kumioko (talk) 15:15, 25 February 2010 (UTC)


 * I think that the Thrapp source should be in the References seciton as it is specifically cited, while the Green source should go to Further reading as it is not;
 * Also, you use the cite web template for the Thrapp source but don't provide a url. Should this be cite web or cite book?
 * suggest wikilinking Navy, Medal of Honor, midshipman, Naval Academy, major the lead;
 * Done --Kumioko (talk) 15:15, 25 February 2010 (UTC)


 * major should not be capitalised in the last sentence of the lead as it is not being used as a title;
 * Done --Kumioko (talk) 15:15, 25 February 2010 (UTC)


 * At first mention in the Biography section, I feel that Carter's name should be used instead of the general "he";
 * The first sentence in the Biography section is a run-on sentence, which probably should be cut after Augusta, Georgia;
 * suggest wikilinking "brevetted" in the Biography section, as it may not be readily apparent to some readers without military experience/knowledge;
 * there is a tense change in the third paragraph of the Biography section, i.e in the first sentence of that paragraphy the word "was" is used, then in the second the word "would" is used. They should both be "was", I believe to maintain the same tense;
 * suggest wikilinking captain in the Biography section;
 * in the third paragraph of the Biography section it says "Clark was awarded a brevet and the Medal of Honor"...should this be "Carter was awarded..."?
 * I suggest rewording the last sentence of the Biography section as it implies that Carter was the first MOH recipient interred in section PS-4, grave 102, which is, one would assume, hopefully correct however, I think what is trying to be said is that Carter was the first MOH recipient to be intered at Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery.

Anyway, that is it. Good work so far and thanks for your contribution. — AustralianRupert (talk) 11:13, 25 February 2010 (UTC)