Talk:Mathieu Valbuena/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Nici  Vampire  Heart  12:56, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Quck fail criteria:


 * 1) Has reliable sources Symbol support vote.svg
 * 2) Is written neutrally Symbol support vote.svg
 * 3) No valid cleanup tags Symbol support vote.svg
 * 4) Is relatively stable with no edit wars Symbol support vote.svg
 * 5) Not specifically concerned with a rapidly unfolding current event with a definite endpoint Symbol support vote.svg


 * Full review to follow. Nici  Vampire  Heart  12:56, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Full review


 * GA review (see here for criteria)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:

Prose

 * 2 dabs which need to be disambiguated.
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * WP:DATED: words such as 'currently' should not be used.
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * No link for 'Langon-Castets'?
 * Doesn't have a wiki-page. I'll probably make one when I get the oppurtunity. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * No link for 'fifth division'?
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "The midfielder had a remarkable 2005–06 season" - remarkable in what way? Very vague.
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "was beneficial to the team that won the league and league cup double, as well as the Trophée des champions." - was "beneficial"? Again, very vague.
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "At the age of nine, his football career was put on hold after receiving over 50 stitches in one of his legs after being involved in a swimming accident." --> "At the age of nine, his football career was put on hold after he received over 50 stitches in one of his legs following a swimming accident."
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "he was awarded a Best Player award" - repetitive to say he was awarded an award.
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "playing on the club's under-18 team playing". Close repetition of playing.
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "Valbuena spent two years playing on the club's under-18 team playing alongside the likes of Rio Mavuba and Marouane Chamakh before being rejected after failing to impress Jean-Louis Garcia, the manager of the club's reserve team in the Championnat de France amateur. Valbuena appeared in only three matches with the reserve team before being hastily dropped by the club." --> "Valbuena spent two years playing on the club's under-18 team playing alongside the likes of Rio Mavuba and Marouane Chamakh. Valbuena appeared in only three match with the reserve team before being released from the club after failing to impress Jean-Louis Garcia, the reserve team manager."
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "Valbuena reverted his ambitions". What does "reverted his ambitions" mean?
 * Done. While he was at Bordeaux, he was on the path of playing professional football. After being let go by the club, he was told his best opportunity to play at his age was at amateur clubs. That is what I meant. I changed "reverted" to a more simpler "held back". —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "he impressed with his technical ability was subsequently recruited" - missing the word "and" between 'ability' and 'was'.
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "Valbuena performed a juke" - I have no idea what this is supposed to mean.
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * ""in-transferable" - do you mean un-transferable?
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "Valbuena subsequently went unnoticed by Domenech for the next two years. On 11 May 2010, Valbuena was named to the 30-man preliminary list by Domenech" --> "Valbeuna's next call-up was over two years later in May 2010, when he was named to the 30-man preliminary list by Domenech to play in the 2010 FIFA World Cup."
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "Many journalists in the French media associated Valbuena's call-up to the team to Franck Ribéry's call-up four years ago ahead of the 2006 FIFA World Cup." - relevance?
 * I guess I inserted this because football readers (I know all of the readers won't be football enthusiasts) will instinctively know that the two share a lot in common. Both callups were very similar. Both were former amateur football players and they both were surprisingly called up by Raymond Domenech for the first time just ahead of the FIFA World Cup to instill some life into the attack; Ribéry in 2006, Valbuena in 2010. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "imposed suspension" - what suspension? Why was he suspended?
 * This. Added more detail about it in his article. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "until the Brazil" - doesn't make sense.
 * Removed. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "has been earmarked by the French media to become one of the team's main contributors ahead of UEFA Euro 2012." unnecessary imo.
 * Removed. —  –J10S   Talk 17:22, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

MOS

 * I'd like to see the 'early life' separated from the 'early career'. Currently, they're together as 'Early life and career', and are contained within the 'Club career' section. His early life is not part of his 'Club career'.
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:26, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Regarding the lead, generally it's very good, but the first paragraph is a problem. The info re: his nickname "Le Petit vélo" is only in the lead. It should be mentioned elsewhere as well. Ditto the info re: his style of play. I'd recommend adding a 'style of play' section, since it appears there would be a good amount of info to add to it.
 * Will take care of after revising the rest of the article. —  –J10S   Talk 17:26, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

Broad

 * There's info on his early life, but no personal life. I'm not overly concerned about it, but some info would be nice if possible and backed up by reliable sources.
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 20:11, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

POV

 * "Valbuena's play went through a major upgrade".
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 19:44, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "Valbuena went scoreless through the winter months, but his presence in the team allowed the club to remain in contention for promotion to Ligue 2." It was entirely down to his presence that team was eligible for promotion? Also this sentence requires a source.
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 19:44, 5 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "hammering of Caen".
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 19:44, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

Overall

 * I am placing this article on hold for seven days to allow you to fix the problems listed. If the work is completed before then, I will pass the article before the seven days are up. If no attempts are made to correct the problems, I will fail the article in seven days. If you are not finished within the seven days, I have no problem in extending the hold period to allow you to finish, as long as I see work is being carried out on the article.
 * To make it easier for me to see how much work has been done, please either strike each comment when the problem has been fixed or post a note underneath each item saying it is completed.
 * Feel free request to clarification on anything; you can leave comments on my talk page or here, as I have this page watchlisted.
 * Nici Vampire  Heart  16:52, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

Second read-through

 * First off, apologies for the delay in responding. I've very busy IRL at the moment.
 * Thoughts
 * It's looking much better now. Still a few more issues that need to be taken care of:
 * Still a dead link (number 68) which needs to be replaced.
 * Removed source completely as other sources there get to the point. —  –J10S   Talk 17:59, 11 March 2011 (UTC)
 * Still awaiting a 'Style of play' section or something similar. The info re: his playing his style is still only mentioned in the lead, and nowhere else throughout the article.
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:59, 11 March 2011 (UTC)
 * Source for "In 2001, Valbuena was recruited by professional club FC Girondins de Bordeaux."?
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 18:00, 11 March 2011 (UTC)
 * Still awaiting a source for "The loss was the team's first of the season and Valbuena was suspended for three matches."
 * I added the source showing it was the club's first loss of the 2005–06 season, however, I cannot find a source that states he was suspended for three matches. I only can find "forumspeak" from commentators who were covering the match. His statistics during that season seem to support the three-match ban as there is a three-match gap in matches played following the red card against GFCO Ajaccio. —  –J10S   Talk 18:31, 11 March 2011 (UTC)
 * I'm still unhappy with the sentence "Many journalists in the French media associated Valbuena's call-up to the team to Franck Ribéry's call-up four years ago ahead of the 2006 FIFA World Cup." a) it's unsourced, and b) there's no real context for anyone who's not a football fan. Perhaps changing the sentence to "Many journalists in the French media compared Valbuena's call-up to the team with Franck Ribéry's call-up four years previously, as the two players share similarities in playing style and their circumstances at the time of their respective call-ups." would help. A source is definetly needed through.
 * Done. —  –J10S   Talk 17:59, 11 March 2011 (UTC)
 * I've done a quick copyedit of the article to clear up any remaining grammar/wording issues I had, rather than listing them all out.
 * Thanks, I've been pretty busy, as well. Going through this lengthy job interview process. Had forgotten about it too. Everything should be taken care of. —  –J10S   Talk 17:59, 11 March 2011 (UTC)
 * Nici Vampire  Heart  15:12, 11 March 2011 (UTC)

Pass

 * Alright. I see no remaining issues.
 * This article is now a good article.
 * Please consider helping WP:GAN by reviewing another good article nomination. Help and advice on how to do so is available at Reviewing good articles, and you can ask for the help of a GAN mentor if you wish.
 * Congratulations, Nici  Vampire  Heart  19:06, 12 March 2011 (UTC)