Talk:Matt Joyce (baseball)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 02:09, 6 June 2021 (UTC)

I'll be reviewing this! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 02:09, 6 June 2021 (UTC)

Lead

 * I would mention the year of the exhibition game, to show whether he got drafted right away or was put on their radar for later.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * I don’t think you need to mention “alongside Burke Badenhop and Will Rhymes” in the lead. This was more important back when people thought those guys actually might be good.  Today, its more like saying Rhys Hoskins once played with Nick Williams. :)
 * ✅ What, you're saying Nick Williams was a disappointment? xD  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Link pitcher on first mention
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”He played” – “Joyce played” to prevent slight possibility of misreading.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”in July” – specify that this was July 2015.
 * ✅ Good catch!  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”with whom he began to improve.” – “”with whom his performance improved.” Unless you’re referring to his health.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”cut short after a lumbar strain in July 2018” – “cut short after a July 2018 lumbar strain ended his season.”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Take out “and Marlins teammate Brandon Kintzler” – not notable enough for lead.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)

Early life

 * In the second paragraph, refer to Rays as “Devil Rays,” since this is what they were known as back then.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”to pitch in” – “to play in” (he’s never pitched).
 * ✅ WOW I've been working on too many pitchers  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Also, link pitcher on first mention in prose.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)

College career

 * I would specify Joyce signed with the Tigers, since not all draft picks do these days.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Link home run on first mention
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”when he held to a .329 batting average” – “when he batted .329” (but make sure you still link batted to batting average).
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)

Minor league career

 * ”as teammates Burke Badenhop” – take teammates out, because it’s a little redundant with the second part of the sentence, which I think will also help the reader know they were teammates.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”and scoring four home runs” – “and recording four home runs”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”By May 19, his batting average sank” – I think after by, it should be in the past tense – “had sunk”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”He recovered” – “He had recovered”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:06, 8 June 2021 (UTC)

Detroit Tigers

 * Change 2008 MLB season to 2008 season, as he wasn’t in the major leagues yet.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”in the first 28 games of the season” – “in the team’s first 28 games.”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”and changeups, and believed” – seems to be a bit of a run-on sentence. How about “and changeups.  Joyce believed”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”pulled oblique, and remained” – “pulled oblique, remaining”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Put “(AL)” after first mention of American League.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Also, link lineup to Batting order (baseball) on first mention
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Clarify that he was the first Tigers rookie position player to win the award since Clark in 1996.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need comma in batting average sentence at end of second paragraph.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”with Mexicali, and improved his strikeout record against curveballs” - ”with Mexicali, striking out less on curveballs”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)

Tampa Bay Rays

 * Now that we refer to the Rays as the Devil Rays earlier on, I’d add an endnote about their change to the Rays in the 2008 season. (If you need help figuring out how to do endnotes, see Willie Mays.  The endnotes are the lowercase letters in brackets.  I say this because it took me forever to figure out how to do it the first time!)
 * ✅ How dare you make me do endnotes, I thought we were friends  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Link Opening Day on first mention
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * More details on the 2008 home run? And clarify those three games were with the Rays, not the Bulls.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Also, link hit on first mention
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”held to a .273 batting average” – “batted .273”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”and 75 RBIs, and Rays' general” – “and 75 RBIs. Rays’ general”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * I would take out the part about Zobrist—he had already been in the big leagues a number of years at this point and wasn’t really establishing himself, even though you’re right that the injury to Joyce did give him more playing time.
 * I reworded it to make him sound like less of an up-and-comer, but the replacement did shape the Rays' season that year, so I left the Zobrist reference in  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ” By the time that he returned” – “By the time that Joyce returned” to prevent possible misreading (though probably at least 90 percent of people would know what you meant).
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need the comma after 30 contests
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”and infielder Will Rhymes” – “and Rhymes” since he’s already mentioned.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”He batted” – “Joyce batted”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Joyce scored” – “Joyce recorded”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Overall, however,” – I’d take out however, since an up-and-down performance is definitely going to have some ups.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”in his second year of arbitration, agreeing to” – “in his second year of arbitration, as he agreed to”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”which saw no home runs” – “in which he hit no home runs”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Link total bases on first mention”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ”look for trade destinations” – “seek to trade him”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:13, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Also, general note—could you mention his playoff stats (and any highlights) in 2010, 2011, and 2013?
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 21:45, 8 June 2021 (UTC)

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

 * Link designated hitter in last paragraph of Rays section and delink it here.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:28, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Mention at end of section he became a free agent.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:28, 8 June 2021 (UTC)

Pittsburgh Pirates

 * ”the Pittsburgh Pirates confirmed that they had signed” – “the Pittsburgh Pirates signed”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:28, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Link pinch hitter on first mention
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:28, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * It was a single-season record, not an all-time record
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:28, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need comma after 15
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:28, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Mention at end of section that he became a free agent.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:28, 8 June 2021 (UTC)

Oakland Athletics

 * In the part about the slur, may want to mention that Joyce said the fan had been yelling vulgar and obscene words about his family, and also that Joyce said he had “a lot of respect” for the LGBTQ+ community.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:54, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Seems like there’s more we could say about a season in which he hit 25 home runs. Any other highlights?
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:54, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Mention he became a free agent after the 2018 season.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:54, 8 June 2021 (UTC)

Atlanta Braves

 * In the last sentence, say “Joyce batted,” just for clarification.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:28, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need to mention he was a free agent, since you cover it in the Marlins section.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:28, 8 June 2021 (UTC)

Miami Marlins

 * Mention some stuff about his playoff performance. I know he didn’t really do anything special, but at least give the stats.
 * ✅ Apparently he was the last out of the Cinderella run. Womp womp  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:54, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Mention he became a free agent after the season.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:54, 8 June 2021 (UTC)

Playing style

 * ”he leads all active MLB pinch hitters with 40 hits and 70 total bases since 2016, and is tied for first with seven home runs” – This is from an early 2021 source. I would change to “he led all active MLB pinch hitters with 40 hits and 70 total bases from 2017 through 2020, tying for first with seven home runs”.  That way, this will never need to be updated.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:28, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Take Mike out before Scioscia since you mentioned him earlier.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:28, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Also, that was manager Scioscia, not general manager Scioscia.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 20:28, 8 June 2021 (UTC)