Talk:Matt Leto/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Red Phoenix (talk · contribs) 20:49, 8 July 2013 (UTC)

Short and sweet, I like it. I'm starting a review now. Red Phoenix build the future...remember the past... 20:49, 8 July 2013 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * I see some prose issues, namely with consistency. I'll list them below this review template.
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * Amazing sourcing job here for a short article. Looking over the list as someone who's quite familiar with WP:VG/S, I can't see anything that would indicate a lack of reliability on any of these.  All of the sources look good, and they're used quite well to source pretty much everything in the article.
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * As I looked over the sources, reference 2 has quite a bit more detail on the events that led up to Zyos' retirement, including his loss as part of team "XiT Woundz" in 2006 and his walkout from his team and from the professional circuit. How come the article simply says that he retired in 2006 when this information is already available in a reference?  Right now this article is missing that information, and I believe needs it in order to meet 3b.  There's no NPOV violation to talk about that.
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * I don't see any point of view issues.
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * Looks to be quite stable. Survived a deletion attempt and then nominated for GA status by the same editor a month later?  That's pretty amazing, but hey, it just shows devotion to our work here.
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * No images at all? I suppose getting a free image of Matt Leto would be quite tough, especially since he's not a professional player anymore.  I wouldn't call not having an image a dealbreaker, but I will say I'm not sure this would ever make FA criteria without at least one.  That being said, for a GA review I wouldn't call it a necessity.
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Almost there. Just needs a bit of prose touchup and additional info.

Prose issues

 * "Leto attributed his loss to his weakness in 2 on 2 play, and stated his desire to continue playing one on one." Also, "one-on-one" is used in the lead.  To be consistent per WP:NUMERAL, pick a format and stick with it; I'd recommend "one-on-one" and using the spelled-out numerals and hyphens in every occurrence across the article.
 * Fixed


 * "In late 2002 Leto competed at AGP1, his first video game tournament, and though his team places fifth, he ranked second out of three hundred players." Should be past tense, and clarification that Leto ranked second out of three hundred players individually, it reads a little confusing as it is now.
 * Clarified


 * "He then spent the next year focused on breaking video game records, eventually reaching 742 and having the highest number of records ever until Tom Duncan surpassed him." Help the readers connect 742 as the number of records he held and remove the ambiguity as to what "742" refers to.  I'd recommend using two sentences here as well; this sentence reads as a run-on.
 * Rewritten


 * "That year he was part of the four man team "Dream Team"." Add a comma after "That year".
 * Fixed


 * "As part of team FFA competing in Major League Gamings tournament, he helped defeat "Shoot to Kill" in an upset victory in Chicago, and then also Atlanta." Is it "Team FFA" or is the team simply called "FFA"?  Add quotes if it's the first, or if it's the second, reword it because readers are unlikely to know who FFA is, i.e. "As part of a team known as "FFA", ".
 * Fixed


 * "Leto was player representative as previous years champion, and called on players to have good sportsmanship." Looks like some punctuation and wording is missing.  Suggestion: "Leto was the player representative, as the previous year's champion, and called on players to have good sportsmanship."
 * Fixed


 * "In October 2005, Leto competed and won the DigitalLife Tournament Series Halo 2 tournament, defeating "PdgfProxa"." Was this in the championship round?  Make it clear.
 * Fixed

Red Phoenix build the future...remember the past... 21:25, 8 July 2013 (UTC)
 * "Leto studies his opponent's style of play in order to find weaknesses.[1] He also practices four to five hours to day, and the week before a tournament for ten." Seeing as how this was all in the past and Leto is now retired, the past tense should be used.
 * Fixed


 * Ok, all issues should be addressed now. Thanks for catching that info on his retirement, I looked far and wide and it was right in front of me! I'd love a picture too, but i cant find any free use ones, perhaps with time. Judgesurreal777 (talk) 23:50, 8 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Nicely done! I don't think you needed to duplicate the reference so many times; it's perfectly acceptable to leave a couple of sentences without a reference if it's the same reference for all of those sentences together and that in-line citation is used at the end of that group of sentences.  Nonetheless, I'd say we meet the GA criteria at this time.  Good job.   Red Phoenix  build the future...remember the past... 00:15, 9 July 2013 (UTC)