Talk:Maurice Douglass/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sarastro1 (talk) 20:42, 20 December 2010 (UTC)
 * GA review (see here for criteria)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * A few concerns listed below but nothing serious.
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * Serious problems with referencing and at least one problem with close paraphrasing. Problem with refs cannot be sorted as links will not direct to appropriate page. However, I'm now happy that article is verifiable and no close paraphrasing.
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * Maybe a few sections could be expanded but probably not enough of an issue to affect GA.
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * No images.
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * See below for further comments.
 * Pass/Fail:
 * See below for further comments.

References: A spot check revealed some big problems here.
 * Some pay sites were not labelled as such.
 * Based on the issue below, I am not sure if it is your problem or mine.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 01:21, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * For some of the refs, you have included a direct quote in the citation. These ones were not accessible and probably need a subscription required. --Sarastro1 (talk) 09:02, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Several refs did not support the text they were citing. A spot check revealed these, but there may be more:
 * Ref 28 does not mention Douglass or Anderson.
 * Are you able to see page 2 of the article.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 01:17, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Ref 34 does not mention Douglass and the only quadricep injury mentioned is that of Rodney Hampton.
 * Are you able to see page 2 of the article.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 01:17, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Refs 36 and 37 do not mention Douglass.
 * Are you able to see page 2 of the articles.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 01:17, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Ref 42 does not mention Douglass or his goalline stop.
 * Are you able to see page 2 of the article.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 01:17, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * This really would be enough to fail by itself.
 * To be honest, any cite like this should link directly to the page where the information is: a bit like giving a page number for a book. That way, it is more easily verifiable. I have reopened the GAN, but I would appreciate it if you would link each reference to the appropriate page, rather than just page one. --Sarastro1 (talk) 09:02, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * I have tried, but it does not work.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 14:11, 21 December 2010 (UTC)


 * I also found two instances of copyvio problems: In the court case section, two parts are very close for comfort.
 * Text: In April, the agents were found guilty of five counts of racketeering and fraud.
 * Original: A Federal jury today found two sports agents guilty of five counts of racketeering and fraud in connection with payments made to college athletes
 * Found guilty->convicted.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 01:24, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Text: inducing college athletes to sign professional contracts in violation of National Collegiate Athletic Association rules, and of threatening bodily harm.
 * Original: inducing college athletes to sign professional contracts in violation of National Collegiate Athletic Association rules, and of threatening harm to some athletes who wanted out of the deals.
 * I have added quote marks.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:22, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * These are fine now, but noticed a couple of others:
 * Text: In September 1994, New York Jets fullback Richie Anderson dislocated an index finger punching Douglass in the head, while Douglass was wearing a football helmet, over what he believed was a late hit on teammate Adrian Murrell
 * Original: One other Jet also is out: Backup fullback RICHIE ANDERSON dislocated an index finger when, angry over what he believed was a late hit on teammate ADRIAN MURRELL, he punched the Bears' MAURICE DOUGLASS in the head. Douglass, however, was wearing a helmet. . ..
 * In this case, apart from the section reproduced exactly, the same words have been used in a different order which makes it a little close.
 * Modified.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 14:29, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Text: In 2008, he was suspended for three weeks and his offensive coordinator resigned. The school was placed on two year probation.
 * Original: Douglass was suspended from coaching for three weeks in 2008, and his offensive coordinator stepped down. The program received two years’ probation.
 * Sorry to be a pain about this, but everyone is very jumpy at the moment, and it's easily done. However, all the other sources that I can access look fine. --Sarastro1 (talk) 09:02, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Modified.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 14:29, 21 December 2010 (UTC)

Prose: I have attempted to fix this.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 03:18, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "In 2007, he returned the team to the playoffs for the first time in 25 years. That year, he was accused of luring players from other teams and found guilty the following year. He was briefly suspended." Slightly clumsy and could probably be combined into one sentence.
 * "was badly beaten on two plays in a 27–7 victory over Cincinnati Bearcats": The only part I struggled to follow (and reads a little like he was physically assaulted); could this be made clearer to the non-expert?
 * Fixed, I hope.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:31, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * I might move the sentence about his stripper job to the start of the paragraph, before he signed.
 * Moved.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 03:03, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "Douglass appeared to be on the bubble..." Ambiguous, I have no idea what this means.
 * Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:36, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "Douglass appeared to be on the bubble during the 1996 Giants training camp final roster cut to 53 players.[39][40] He made the final roster cut." Choppy and should be combined.
 * Done.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:36, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "As a result of missing a lot of exhibition time and allowing Garnes to see plenty of action, he lost the job to Garnes and was cut." Maybe re-work: "He lost the job to Garnes after missing a lot of exhibition time and allowing the latter to see plenty of action."
 * Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:39, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "He transformed the program..." Any suggestions how?
 * added.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:53, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "and over 1/3" Should this be spelt out?
 * O.K.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:41, 21 December 2010 (UTC)

Comprehensiveness:
 * A minor one, but maybe some more details about his court case over the intimidation would be worthwhile. Also, it would be good to know about his illegal recruitment and doping. And I noticed one of the articles mentions his love of the good life off the field, and I feel this would improve the article. However, this would not be enough to fail.

*Dablink to Scott Mitchell.
 * Fixed this one myself. --Sarastro1 (talk) 09:02, 21 December 2010 (UTC)

Given the serious issues with sourcing, I feel that I must fail this article. However, I would be happy to look again if the article was fixed and renominated. Aside from sourcing, other concerns are fairly minor. --Sarastro1 (talk) 22:10, 20 December 2010 (UTC)
 * I re-opened this. Prose concerns now fine. Once the refs are linked to the correct pages and the remaining close paraphrasing concerns are sorted, I will pass the article. --Sarastro1 (talk) 09:02, 21 December 2010 (UTC)
 * I have done what I can.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 14:32, 21 December 2010 (UTC)

OK, if the article won't let you link to other pages, that's fine and I'll pass. --Sarastro1 (talk) 21:58, 21 December 2010 (UTC)