Talk:Maxim Berezovsky/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Nominator: 14:39, 5 January 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Jaguarnik (talk · contribs) 00:00, 1 July 2024 (UTC)

Experienced reviewer: ~ 🦝 Shushugah (he/him • talk) 20:11, 10 July 2024 (UTC)

I plan to review this article. I will post the review either within a few hours or tomorrow. Jaguarnik (talk) 00:00, 1 July 2024 (UTC)

Update: I am leaving this article on hold until at least July 16 per Amitchell125's request. As I am a new reviewer, I will also have a more experienced reviewer check the review, to make sure that I have addressed all necessary criteria and issues and given a fair review. Jaguarnik (talk) 15:33, 2 July 2024 (UTC)

GA review
Last updated: (UTC) by

See what the criteria are and what they are not

1) Well-written


 * 1a) the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct


 * 1b) it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation

2) Verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check


 * 2a) it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline


 * 2b) reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose)


 * 2c) it contains no original research


 * 2d) it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism

3) Broad in its coverage


 * 3a) it addresses the main aspects of the topic


 * 3b) it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style)

4) Neutral:


 * 4) Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each

5) Stable:


 * 5) Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute

6) Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio
 * 6a) media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content


 * 6b) media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions

Overall:

Comments:
I did a quick copyedit, I see no major spelling or grammar errors otherwise.

Recommended edits

 * Please add a caption to the image in the infobox.
 * Image now removed. AM


 * A footnote in the lead stating his name is also spelled in English as Maksym Sozontovych. Quite a few sources call him Maksym rather than Maxim; additionally, Google search gives 339k results for Maksym Berezovsky as opposed to 309k for Maxim Berezovsky. Additionally, as a Ukrainian composer, the biography should probably give the transliteration of his Ukrainian name as well.
 * ✅ Done (the transliteration seems unnecessary, please amend the text if you disagree). Amitchell125 (talk) 17:45, 9 July 2024 (UTC)
 * No disagreements, I'm fine with the note.


 * Lead calls him "one of the golden three" and then never references this again. This should have a source, either in the lead, or be expanded on in the body. I am unable to find any reliable reference by musicologists to Berezovsky, Vedel and Bortniansky as a "golden three" (something like how The Mighty Handful is a common name for that group of composers): Kuzma for example calls them "the three great composers of the Golden Age of Ukrainian music, citing Rudnytsky, (https://www.jstor.org/stable/763922); Rudnytsky in his turn calls them the greatest of the second half of the 18th century, but says that it is incorrect to call that period of time "the Golden Age of Ukrainian music". (Українська музика: історично-критичний огляд, pg 55, https://diasporiana.org.ua/wp-content/uploads/books/14276/file.pdf) Another journal article calls them "the most prominent representatives of the golden age of Ukrainian music(second half of the 18th century"(https://elibrary.kubg.edu.ua/id/eprint/45699/1/O_%20Sbitnieva_%20The%20Development%20of%20Ukrainian_kaev.pdf). Maybe something like "Together with Artemy Vedel and Dmitry Bortniansky, he is considered one of the most prominent Ukrainian composers of the 18th century" would work?
 * "He may have composed three- and four-part motets when a boy." I'm unsure that there's anything necessarily wrong with "when a boy", but "as a boy" sounds more natural, in my opinion.
 * ✅ Amended. AM


 * "No portrait of Berezovsky has survived, but it is thought that after several years in Italy, he would have adopted the look of a European, speaking fluent Italian and with a shaved face, powdered wig, and wearing a camisole." I recommend the removal of this, as it doesn't really fit anywhere in the article, and it's just speculation. Also don't like "It is thought" - MOS:WEASEL applies .. AM
 * ✅ Removed. AM


 * The symphonies by Beresciollo section should emphasize more that the identity of Beresciollo as Berezovsky is likely, but not certain, per the source (the source given says that the connection of Berezovsky to Beresciollo is not certain).
 * ✅ Done. AM


 * "Along with fellow Bohemian graduate Josef Mysliveček" - this sounds as if the two share being Bohemian. It is confusing wording. Consider removing "Bohemian" or otherwise rephrasing as "Along with fellow graduate, (the) Bohemian Josef Mysliveček,"
 * ✅ Sorted. AM


 * "Andrei Tarkovsky's 1983 film Nostalghia is "a commentary on exile as told through Berezovsky's life"." This implies the film is something like a biopic or a documentary on Berezovsky's life, when it's simply inspiration. I would recommend something like the film "is inspired by the life of Berezovsky" or "takes inspiration from the life from Berezovsky"
 * ✅ Sorted. AM


 * "Academicians gathered to test the applicants, who assessed the candidates' examination pieces by secret ballot, using white and black balls to vote that the required standard had been reached. Unusually, both Mysliveček and Berezovsky received only white balls, and so both became academicians." Maybe add that the white balls signified positive votes, so that the reader may understand why it was unusual that they both received only white balls (they both unanimously passed).
 * ✅ Done. AM


 * "There is a monument to Berezovsky in Hlukhiv," - a minor request: while the phrasing is fine, it reads a bit awkwardly to me. consider rephrasing to "A monument to Berezovsky was installed in Hlukhiv." If you want to give more information to the reader, I recommend something like "A monument to Berezovsky, sculpted by Inna Kolomiets, was installed in Hlukhiv in 1995.", just to give more information to the reader. I recommended a source below for the information if you need one. (You may rephrase as you like, it is just an example.) However, this is not necessary.
 * ✅ Sentence amended a bit. AM

Claudio Records source

 * Earwig flags 45,1% similarity to the Claudio Records source. This is too high. Consider removing or otherwise rephrasing : "He was also the first to raise the theme of the suffering of the Creator to the level of the philosophical concept of the battle between good and evil. The strength of expression of this concept elevates Berezovsky’s compositions to the standing of international masterpieces of the cultural musical world such as those of the later works of Mozart and the symphonies of Beethoven." Analyses of his works and musical style could be used - if needed, I can search for some.
 * ✅ Text deleted. AM


 * Additionally, I don't care for this source - Yurchenko was the conductor of the choir that made the recording; I don't see anything that confirms that Yurchenko also wrote the notes (do conductors normally write the CD notes?). Additionally, CD notes aren't peer-reviewed or necessarily held to high standards of accuracy, as far as I am aware. Could this source be replaced by any other sources?
 * The Ukrainian Wikipedia article gives some idea of Yurchenko's expertise as an authority on the composer, I will check to confirm that he produced the notes. Amitchell125 (talk) 15:01, 8 July 2024 (UTC)

Inconsistencies

 * Userbox says he was born in Glukhov, the text of the article refers to Glukhov as Hlukhiv. Additionally, the lead says that he was educated at "Glukhov Singing School", but the section "Education in Hlukhiv and Kyiv" calls it the "Hlukhiv Singing School". It should be consistent throughout the article.
 * ✅ Sorted. AM


 * Tri Simfoniyi on pg 17 states that there is no documentation of Berezovsky attending the Kyiv-Mohyla Academy (pg 4 in Ukrainian states Києво-Могилянська академія). You have wikilinked this to the Kiev Theological Academy(Київська духовна академія) in the lead, which is a different academy. You have also stated in "Early life" that he was by the accounts of others a scholar at the "Academia Kiioviensis Mohileana" and wikilinked to the Kyiv-Mohyla Academy, although in the body and later in the text you link to the Kiev Theological Academy.
 * "His suicide, taken as fact from the early 19th century, may have happened because of debt problems or his wife's death, as opposed to earlier theories such as his supposed poor treatment by the imperial court." Earlier in the text, it is stated that his wife died a year after him.
 * ✅ Sentence amended, leaving out his wife's death. AM

I would use the source that's more recent - in this case, Shumilina. While Pryashnikova is an expert in her field, the notes seem to be from 2003, judging by the recording, and research over the last several years have disproven many legends about Berezovsky. Additionally, CD notes aren't normally peer-reviewed, unlike journal articles.
 * "Bolkhovitinov's unsubstantiated biography, written four decades after Berezovsky's death, was used by later writers as the main source of information about the composer" but in the death section, you write "Bolkhovitinov, in his 1804 biography of Berezovsky, used testimonies by people who knew him..." two contradictions: a) 40 years after Berezovsky's death would be 1817, not 1804 (this seems like an error taken from Shumilina's text, as she says almost 40 years); I've removed the four decades. b) Since the biography is described to be taken from people who personally knew Berezovsky, it makes it sound like the biography is in fact substantiated.

Table
Update: as the table was deleted by the nominator, the next section is irrelevant. The table is really problematic. I would recommend removal of the entire thing than work on it, especially because the prose is decent and passes GA criteria, but I'll let you make that decision. Here are the issues I've noticed:


 * The table does not have a consistent style: some works list a transliteration, others do not. Either transliterations should be listed for all works, or no transliterations should be listed.
 * There are also a significant amount of translation errors. For example, liturgical works 1 choral concerts 8, 9, 10, 23, and 41? all have incorrect translations, and these are not the only translation errors I have found. I have also noticed a significant amount of transliteration errors. With your permission, I would like to work on the translations (and transliterations, if you choose to keep them) in the article.
 * The entire table has been labelled as Ukrainian-language text, when most (if not all of this) seems to be Church Slavonic as far as I am aware; some of the titles use characters that don't exist in Ukrainian (e.g. Отрыгну сердце - ы doesn't exist in Ukrainian, so I assume you got it from a Russian source). The titles need to be consistent.
 * Alternatively, you might choose one source, like Ritsarev, and list just the works she mentions - something like a "partial/selected filmography" section for certain film directors.
 * Multiple listed works have transliterations that differ from their translations and/or titles.
 * Azeev is used as a source for several of the works, but the source consistently leads to a specific score that doesn't match the actual score.

I would prefer to remove the table entirely if the issues are too numerous and/or cannot be addressed. The table is not needed anyway for a good article, and the prose you have written already is decent.

In short, there are far too many issues with the table; I would recommend getting rid of it entirely.
 * Table now deleted. Amitchell125 (talk) 12:12, 8 July 2024 (UTC)

Some other source issues

 * page 16 of Tri Simfoniyi - Karabits states that Berezovsky was likely born no later than 1740-1741 and cites research from Rytsareva and Lebedeva-Emelina; but this isn't mentioned in the article. I would recommend putting this in the text, especially if the sources from Rytsareva and Lebedeva-Emelina can be found.
 * "He no longer sang as a principal after Catherine II became empress in 1762, perhaps because of his age, or because Russian musicians lost favour at court during her rule." Citing Kuzma. Kuzma writes "Berezovs′ky remained as a court singer but no longer sang principal operatic roles; this may have been...due to a change in policy in favour of foreign musicians." I am unfamiliar with what exactly the change in policy was, but the first wording implies that Catherine grew displeased with Russian musicians and demoted or removed all of then, while the way Kuzma writes it implies only that Catherine had hired more foreign musicians. A rewording is not necessary, but I would recommend it. (An explanation of the policy change would be nice, but not at all necessary for GAN.)
 * "There he studied with the composer Stanislao Mattei, the assistant of the music historian and composer Giovanni Battista Martini at the Accademia Filarmonica di Bologna." I cannot access Jaffé 2012, but the other source is Shumilina 2015, who says that Berezovsky studied with Battista Martini himself, not Mattei. Other sources I've read about Berezovsky say that Martini in fact gave him high praise, and mention nothing about Mattei.
 * "One of the passports is thought to have been for Berezovsky." the cited source states "The first surname is barely legible, but [Rytsareva] assumed that to be Berezovsky. However, in the second edition of the book, the author forwent her hypothesis..." Shumilina(2019) says about the same passport "Researchers believe that this record does not concern M. Berezovsky, because mistakes were made in it in written surnames."(Дослідники вважають, що цей запис не стосується М. Березовського, бо в ньому допущено помилки у написані прізвища.) so the passport according to researchers may not have been for Berezovsky? This should be mentioned.
 * Inconsistent layout of sources: not all of the sources are listed in the "Source" section. For example, Kuzma's article about Berezovsky from Grove Music Online is in "Sections", but Taruskin's article, also from Grove Music Online, is not listed in sources. Same issue with the Claudio Records CD notes but lack of Pryashkina's CD notes.

Minor issues
All issues here addressed. Jaguarnik (talk) 19:55, 9 July 2024 (UTC)


 * You have listed ТРИ СИМФОНІЇ(Tri Simfoniyi) by Karabits as being written in Ukrainian, but in the linked document, there is a translation of the Ukrainian text into English. You have cited the English translation. Either the page numbers must be changed to the ones in Ukrainian, or the "in Ukrainian" should be removed. Also, the article in question was not written by Karabits, but by Larisa Ivchenko; Karabits is the editor of the three symphonies that are presented after Ivchenko's article.
 * ✅ Source amended. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:27, 9 July 2024 (UTC)


 * Why does Shumilina 2018 2019, and 2020 not have page numbers listed for the citations? The journal articles should have page numbers.
 * ❌ Not done. See Template:Cite journal, which shows that the pages numbers are for the whole article, not the specific page(s). Amitchell125 (talk) 14:23, 8 July 2024 (UTC)
 * I understand that, I mean that the specific pages to support statements should be in the citation footnotes. For example, when citing Shumilina's article in the Death section, the footnote shows "Shumilina 2015: p. 83". This should be in the other footnotes as well for these three articles, no? Jaguarnik (talk) 22:16, 8 July 2024 (UTC)
 * It's not commonly done, and not required for GA (MOS:NOTES does not refer to it). Amitchell125 (talk) 12:47, 9 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Fine, I won't insist on it. Jaguarnik (talk) 16:54, 9 July 2024 (UTC)


 * There is a DOI on the site for Shulgina 2020, you might consider linking to it (but not necessary): http://catalog.liha-pres.eu/index.php/liha-pres/catalog/view/72/816/1780-1
 * ✅ Link added. AM

Other criteria

 * The article is stable. ✅
 * The article is neutral and balanced in viewpoints.✅
 * Berezovsky's life, work and legacy are covered, but not in too much detail.✅
 * Most of the images are fine. I have questions about the image in the infobox - the source doesn't say anything about the origin of the image or its publication; all that I can find is that Alamy Photos claims that it's in public domain. (https://www.alamy.com/berezovsky-maksim-sozontovich-image218352925.html?utm_source=77643&utm_campaign=Shop%20Royalty%20Free%20at%20Alamy&utm_medium=impact&irgwc=1) All other images date to Berezovsky's time and therefore shouldn't have issues with copyright. Audio links to an external site. Images all good. ✅
 * ✅ Infobox image removed, I agree with your comment about its origin. Amitchell125 (talk) 14:30, 8 July 2024 (UTC)

Recommendations for improvement of the article
I found some articles and media that I believe would improve the article - however, you are not obliged to use all or even any of them.
 * Shumilina has an article from 2018 in Russian titled "Myths about Maxim Berezovsky: Reasons for Emergence and Ways to Overcome" that has some useful information; for example, on pg 14, she argues that Berezovsky could not have killed himself, as the laws of the Russian Empire at the time ordered to bury people dead by suicide in unmarked graves, while documents show that arrangements were made to bury Berezovsky. Shumilina also writes that Berezovsky was able to find work after returning to St. Petersburg, as documents show that he was paid 500 rubles a year, (Shumilina, Olga Anatolyevna, title "Мифы о Максиме Березовском: причины появления и пути преодоления", trans-title "Myths about Maxim Berezovsky: Reasons for Emergence and Ways to Overcome" 2018, journal "Вестник музыкальной науки". lang=ru. https://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/mify-o-maksime-berezovskom-prichiny-poyavleniya-i-puti-preodoleniya, pgs 12-19)
 * ✅ Added. AM


 * A source talking about several myths about the life of Berezovsky (and other Catherine-epoch composers) and what is actually known about Berezovsky. (Lebedeva-Emelina, Antonina (2017). Berezovsky's death, including Bolkhovitinov's version of events and Ritzarev's hypothesis, is discussed on pgs 12-13. (unfortunately, I was unable to find the actual article by Ritzarev). Title: Биографика композиторов екатерининской эпохи: соотношение документов, легенд и мифов. trans-title: Biographic Writings on the Composers of the Era of Catherine the Great: Correlation Between Documents, Legends, And Myths. journal=Искусство музыки: теория и история (The art of music: theory and history), issue 17, https://imti.sias.ru/upload/iblock/132/imti_2017_17_3_78_lebedeva_emelina.pdf, lang=ru)
 * ✅ Added. AM


 * Journal article by Lebedeva-Emilina, Komarov, and Mologin about the publication of Berezovsky's works by Peter Jürgenson. It mentions that Berezovsky's liturgical music was composed in Italy and dates to 1770 or earlier, if that's helpful(pgs 134-135). (https://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/izdanie-duhovnoy-muzyki-m-s-berezovskogo-v-kontse-xix-veka-p-i-yurgenson-k-k-albreht-i-p-i-chaykovskiy, journal=Вестник Православного Свято-Тихоновского гуманитарного университета, issue 135, pgs 130-162, date=2019, authors=Lebedeva Emelina, Antonina Viktorovna; Komarov, Aleksandr Viktorovich; Mologin, Mikhail Semyonich, title=Издание духовной музыки М. С. Березовского в конце xix века: П. И. Юргенсон, К. К. Альбрехт и П. И. Чайковский, trans-title=Publication of sacred music of M.S.Berezovsky at the end of the 19th century: P.I.Jürgenson, K.K.Albrecht and P.I.Tchaikovsky) It also mentions works by Berezovsky (pgs 136-137) that I do not see at all in the table, for example the liturgical work Знаменася на нас.
 * Several streets in Ukrainian cities named in honor of Berezovsky. 2 news articles about a street named in honor of Maxim Berezovsky: one in Kyiv in March 2023, and the other in Kremenchuk in September 2023. You might add this to his legacy section. (https://vechirniy.kyiv.ua/news/80764/, https://zmist.pl.ua/news/na-chest-lytovskogo-knyazya-ta-getmana-somka-u-kremenchuczi-perejmenuvaly-12-vulycz This source from the Oles Honchar Kherson Library also states that there are streets named after him in Chernihiv and Rivne, a children's school named after him in Hlukhiv, and the 1995 installation of the statue in Hlukhiv, with the sculptor being Inna Kolomiets.(https://lib.kherson.ua/avtor-pershoi-ukrainskoi-simfonii.htm)
 * A news article about the celebration of 275 years of Berezovsky (https://vechirniy.kyiv.ua/news/47922/)
 * ✅ Link added. AM


 * a 2022 article by Shumilina, analyzing the operas he sang in (including lead tenor role of Seleuco by Araja) and proposing his age based on that + again hypothesizing that Berezovsky was not Beresciollo based on the fact that the style of Beresciollo's symphonies would have been unknown to Berezovsky.
 * ✅ Source added to Further Reading list. AM


 * а November 2021 conference paper by Shumilina, "Who is Signor Beresciollo?" (ХТО ТАКИЙ СИНЬЙОР BERESCIOLLO?) In the article, Shumilina argues that Beresciollo was not in fact Berezovsky, seeing as the pieces from Beresciollo were dated to 1760, and Berezovsky would have been a 15-year-old opera singer who was not composing music. (pgs 254-258 )
 * ✅ Source added to Further Reading list. AM


 * Consider using this image from Wikimedia Commons: Пам'ятник композиторам М. С. Березовському і Д. С. Бортнянському, Глухів 01.jpg (an image of the Berezovsky monuments in Hlukhiv), in legacy for better illustration of the article. As far as I am aware, the author has released it into public domain (it was part of a Wikimedia competition), and Ukraine's freedom of panorama laws allow for use of photos of monuments as I know, so there should be no issue with using it. Never mind.
 * As explained here, the image is not allowed because of freedom of panorama laws in Ukraine, and actually should be deleted from WikiCommons (which is very strict about such things). Amitchell125 (talk) 13:01, 8 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Alright, no worries, thank you for the explanation. Jaguarnik (talk) 22:19, 8 July 2024 (UTC)

Experienced reviewer
hello, this review is exceptionally thorough and I am very impressed. I was even more impressed when I realised this is one of your first reviews. Well done! You identified problematic prose/content, including copyright violations. The author themselves identified issues with image licensing and remaining images comply with permissible licensing (CC BY-SA or public domain).

I have some additional feedback regarding sourcing for both the reviewer and the nominator.
 * The author Shumilina is referred to as both Olga and Olha in the sourcing, one of these should be used for internal consistency.
 * There is a duplicate source, which has two different authors (one is really an editor) and should be merged, that is Maxim Berezovsky: Three Symphonies
 * GA reviews do not specify any kind of citation consistency, although that's nice. Additionally, Cite journal pages parameter does not specify that it must specify all the pages of entire chapter/passage. It depends how article is structured. In case of WP:CITESHORT I would agree with you, but if it's a stand-alone reference, you can just specify the single page or shorter range of pages used to verify a specific claim in the text. ~ 🦝 Shushugah (he/him • talk) 20:11, 10 July 2024 (UTC)