Talk:May'n/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Maplestrip (talk · contribs) 09:13, 6 October 2018 (UTC)

I shall be doing a review of this article today. The article looks good, and I don't believe it will need very many changes to get to GA (if any at all). It may take a bit for me to do the full review, however, so I'm just claiming the review before going all the way into. ~ Maplestrip/Mable ( chat ) 09:13, 6 October 2018 (UTC)

Main review

 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * The images are good and properly attributed. The third image is a bit of a questionmark to me, as it does not add much to the article, but it's fine.
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * ~ Maplestrip/Mable ( chat ) 10:22, 6 October 2018 (UTC)
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * The images are good and properly attributed. The third image is a bit of a questionmark to me, as it does not add much to the article, but it's fine.
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * ~ Maplestrip/Mable ( chat ) 10:22, 6 October 2018 (UTC)

All issues I had have been fixed. The article currently passes in accordance to the GA criteria. give me a second as I go through the steps. Congratulations, Naruto! ~ Maplestrip/Mable ( chat ) 10:54, 6 October 2018 (UTC)

Issues that need to be fixed
These issues need to be fixed before I am willing to pass this article:
 * "She had also become interested in music at an early age, and dreamt of becoming a singer" does not seem to be confirmed by the source given.
 * "... and has since become a regular performer at the annual event." does not seem to be confirmed by the source given. ~ Maplestrip/Mable ( chat ) 10:22, 6 October 2018 (UTC)
 * I've fixed both of these issues: for the first, I've rephrased it to instead say that she'd been singing since she was three, based on the sources. For the second, I simply removed it. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 10:48, 6 October 2018 (UTC)

Other comments
Here's a list of other, particularly minor comments I have. None of these in particular keep the article from passing, but they may be considered improvements regardless:
 * The second sentence in the lead section uses the word "after" twice. "After aspiring to become a musician ... she made her music debut in 2003 ... after auditioning."
 * The next sentence says she made her music debut in 2005 under a different label. Can a person have two music debuts? Maybe you mean "signed music debut" or something along those lines?
 * The author names of the two Anime News Network interviews (source #2 and #3) could be added to the respective references.
 * It may make more sense to put her early interest in singing before her early interest in anime in the Childhood section, as her fondness for music may have predated her fondness for anime.
 * "Music debut" comes up again in the first line of "Career".
 * You refer to "that same year" twice in the second section of "Career".
 * Much of the career section – the paragraph starting with "In January 2009" in particular – is quite a slog to read through, which I suppose is inevitable. I don't think there's really anything you can do about it.
 * Her second solo Budokan concert can probably be trimmed out, seeing as it is only sourced through a primary source. It can go either way, though.
 * I would remove the mention of Kanno in the first paragraph of the "Influences" section, as you go into depth about their relationship and her influence just after that.
 * ... she had a desire to "become" the character, although Kanno would give her advice that she should stop acting too much like Sheryl and instead be herself." is a bit of an odd and possibly meaningless quote. It may be good to try to be a bit more concrete about what kind of impact Kanno had on May'n, rather than including an airy "she told me to be myself" quote.
 * I do not know why the 2012 Anime News Network interview is specifically included in the Further reading, and would suggest removing it from there.
 * The The-O Network interview should either be implemented as a source or be moved to the talk page, as it does not belong in the external links list. ~ Maplestrip/Mable ( chat ) 10:22, 6 October 2018 (UTC)
 * Done rephrasing most of them. As for the Kanno mention, Kanno was really important to her music career so I'd rather keep that mention. As for the quote, I admit I had a hard time wording that, but the reason why it's worded that way is because that's all that was mentioned in the article used as a source. As for the further reading part, it had been added there by another editor (long before I started working on the article) and I never bothered to remove it. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 10:48, 6 October 2018 (UTC)