Talk:Mehdi Khalil/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 19:52, 2 October 2020 (UTC)

Taking this review for the GAN October 2020 Backlog Drive. MWright96 (talk) 19:52, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

Lead

 * "indeed, he was the fifth tallest goalkeeper at the 2019 AFC Asian Cup." - don't think this should be in the lead
 * ✅ Nehme1499 (talk) 16:27, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "first at Koping FF and then at Djurgården." - first playing at Köping FF before transferring to Djurgårdens.
 * ✅ Nehme1499 (talk) 16:27, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

Early life

 * "Khalil started playing five-a-side football," - Djurgården Fotboll says it was six-a-side football not five-a-side
 * ✅ Nehme1499 (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:30, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "at age 12 Khalil started playing five-a-side football, popular in Sierra Leone," - Khalil began playing six-a-side football, a popular form of football in Sierra Leone, at age 12 at Young Sportsmen Club as a defender.
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:30, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "He switched to football at age 15, moving to Johansen." - At age 15, he moved to Johansen to switch to Johansen to play football.
 * I've changed it in At age 15, he moved to Johansen to play football. <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:30, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

2009–2012: Sierra Leone and Sweden

 * "Khalil was nominated best goalkeeper" - named
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:31, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "he made his debut for the club's under-21 side in the U21 Allsvenskan [sv] against Brage, helping his side win 5–1." - repetition of "side"
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:31, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

2013–2017: Safa

 * "However, Safa still won the encounter 3–2 thanks to a 92nd-minute" - through a 92nd-minute
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:33, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "In 2015–16," - In the 2015-16 season,
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:33, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "Khalil played 16 league games[7] helping Safa win" - a comma is mssing between "games" and "helping"
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:33, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "Following his contract's expiry in summer 2016," - Following the expiration of his contract in mid-2016
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:33, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "He remained with Safa one further year," - with Safa for one
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:33, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

2017–2020: Ahed

 * "Khalil moved to Lebanese champions" - championship club
 * I meant to highlight the fact that Ahed were the title holders on the league. I've changed it to Khalil moved to Lebanese Premier League holders. <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:34, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

2020–present: Zob Ahan

 * "On 7 January 2019," - 2020
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:34, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

International career

 * "He was part of the squad that played in the 2018 FIFA World Cup qualification between 2015 and 2016" - qualification stage
 * Changed to qualifiers
 * "initially Abbas Hassan's reserve for the first three games, Khalil became Lebanon's first-choice goalkeeper in the final five games" - repetition of "games"
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:38, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "gained access to" - qualified them for
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:38, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "However, the three points were not enough to qualify Lebanon to the" - for the
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:38, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

Style of play

 * "and a big physical presence." - large
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:40, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "Indeed, at 1.96 m tall," - the Template:Convert template is needed for the text in bold
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:40, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * The word "indeed" in the above sentence is not needed
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:40, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

Honours

 * The club portion of the honours section needs to be fully referenced
 * ✅ <b style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:80%;color:#000080">Nehme</b><b style="font-family:Verdana;color:#27B382">1499</b> (<b style="font-size:80%;color:#a9a9a9">talk</b>) 16:42, 3 October 2020 (UTC)