Talk:Memorial to Victims of Violence in Mexico/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 18:28, 21 February 2022 (UTC)

I'll have a look. My first comments should be up within a few days. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 18:28, 21 February 2022 (UTC)

Beginning with the infobox and lead.

Infobox

 * No issues with File:Memorial a las Víctimas de la Violencia en México (11002953193).jpg

Lead

 * I'm not sure "Memorial a las víctimas de violencia en México" should be italicized in the opening sentence
 * MOS:FOREIGNITALICS.


 * The second paragraph seems a bit short. Either expand this or merge it with the third one.
 * I split the first paragraph and merged it with the second as it imitates the article's structure.

More to follow in the future. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 04:40, 25 February 2022 (UTC)

Background and history

 * Take "(militarily known as collateral damage)" out of parantheses, and maybe use in collateral damage
 * No need to link commonly recognized forms of currency per WP:OVERLINK
 * Something seems to be wrong with the Ness Magazine link, making it harder to verify the text attributed to this
 * I might've missed something but can't find either 7 September or 23 November 2012 mentioned here
 * Changed / activated the archived copy (and all archived copies are now available) / replaced with another source. (CC) Tb hotch ™ 05:25, 3 March 2022 (UTC)

After you address these, I'll get into "Description and meaning". SNUGGUMS (talk / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 03:34, 3 March 2022 (UTC)

Description and meaning

 * Too many sentences start with "the"; it feels particularly monotonous with the second paragraph where only its last one starts with anything else
 * Per WP:REPCITE, you only need to use the same citation once in a row within a paragraph, so you can remove ref#12 from the end of "paths and benches" as well as ref#13 from the end of "the graffiti of the Berlin Wall" and ref#7 from the end of "Cicero, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr. and Carlos Fuentes"
 * I'd elaborate on how the use of 7 for 70 is to represent/sybmolize perfection and maybe some of the 10 multiplication; don't simply assume all readers will be familiar with this concept

My next batch of comments will most likely be the last. <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 03:04, 8 March 2022 (UTC)


 * Fixed (I guess) / removed (one of them was for the DYK) / expanded (CC) Tb hotch ™ 21:14, 9 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Looks good, and I made one minor adjustment here. <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 03:00, 18 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks. 03:48, 18 March 2022 (UTC)

Reception

 * More instances of WP:REPCITE; you only need to use ref#8 at the end of "an unspoken language of healing", and ref#20 at the end of "memorial only has value to the extent that it has meaning"
 * Done


 * "For Elizabeth Donoff from Architect Magazine lights deliver" seems like it's missing a comma right before "lights"
 * Done


 * Is it advisable to link Miquel Adrià here before having an article on the English Wikipedia? The Spanish version might be enough for now unless you have a specific reason for implementing it in this case.
 * The links are automatically given by the template ill. I think they are added to encourage their creation.


 * Remove the commas from "Eduardo Vázquez, from the Mexican Indignados Movement, considered it" when they feel misplaced. Unless something got mistranslated, the attributed link also suggests he's part of the Movement for Peace with Justice and Dignity (MPJD) or Movimiento por la Paz con Justicia y Dignidad instead of the Mexican Indignados Movement.
 * Done / For some weird reason, the Movimiento por la Paz con Justicia y Dignidad article is at Mexican Indignados Movement here.
 * I requested an RM on that page. (CC) Tb hotch ™ 04:09, 18 March 2022 (UTC)


 * I see mentions of "facade" and "government", but not the exact words of "governmental façade" here or "fachada gubernamental", contrary to what your current use of the quotation marks suggest
 * I have removed the quotations and reworded the phrase.


 * How is "Patricia Prado of Fundación Camino a Casa and Alejandro Martí of México SOS were present during the inauguration" relevant here? It says nothing about their opinions on this memorial.
 * I found like 12 sources mentioning them. I have added what Martí said in the inauguration. Prado apparently didn't talk. (CC) Tb hotch ™ 03:48, 18 March 2022 (UTC)
 * If you're sure that Prado said nothing on the memorial, then just delete her entirely from the page. <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 12:10, 18 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Removed. Sorry, I've been more busy than usual. (CC) Tb hotch ™ 19:11, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Nothing to worry about, and now I can pass this, so congrats! <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 21:22, 19 March 2022 (UTC)

Overall

 * Prose: Almost there, but needs tweaking
 * Referencing: One or two verification issues, and a few citations should have their formatting adjusted
 * Coverage: Mostly good, I just have doubts on the final sentence used unless it gets reworked to show stances (which would be more beneficial to write about)
 * Neutrality: No bias found
 * Stability: Looks good
 * Media: The one image used is perfectly fine
 * Verdict Starting now, this nomination is being placed on hold for seven days, which I'm sure will be enough time for you to address my remaining comments. <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 03:00, 18 March 2022 (UTC)