Talk:Menkauhor Kaiu/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Tim riley (talk · contribs) 06:51, 17 July 2015 (UTC)

Starting first read-through. More soonest.  Tim riley  talk    06:51, 17 July 2015 (UTC)

This is plainly of GA standard. May I make a few preliminary suggestions on minor aspects of the prose?
 * Duplicate links: in the main text we have more than one blue link for each of: Khentkaus II, Sed festival, Wadi Maghara, Ra, temple to the sun, Sahure, mastabas, Ptahhotep, Horus Qemaa, New Kingdom period, Teti and Userkaf.
 * Done.&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)


 * Attestations
 * "hellenized" – the Oxford English Dictionary (and the Wikipedia article) would have us capitalise the word.
 * Done.&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)


 * "A cylinder seal impression showing Menkauhor's horus name has also been unearthed in the pyramid complex of Nyuserre Ini, and in the necropolises of Giza and Gebelein" – this reads as though one seal impression has been found in three places.
 * Fixed!&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)


 * Filiation
 * "The Czech Egyptologists…" – I shouldn't mention their nationality unless it is relevant. Same for Wilfried Seipel  and Karl Richard Lepsius later in the text.
 * done.&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)


 * Name
 * "The name of Menkauhor is in rupture…" – I see what you mean but this is not idiomatic English. You want something like "is in contrast with" or "is a departure from"
 * You are right this is a French idiom. I fixed it.&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)


 * Duration
 * The citations at the end of the paragraph are not in numerical order.
 * fixed.&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)


 * Funerary cult
 * "for their sustenance or their own funerary cult" – should "cult" be plural here?
 * Well spotted! Typo fixed.&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)


 * Pyramid
 * "The motivations for this choice may lie in that the Abusir plateau had become overcrowded" – this is a bit wordy. Perhaps something like "The reason for this choice may be that …"?
 * Yes the phrasing was heavy, I changed it as you advocated.&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)

I have corrected a few typos and comma splices: please check you're happy with my changes.  Tim riley  talk    07:06, 17 July 2015 (UTC)
 * I am very happy indeed!&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)

Overall summary
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources:
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Pass or Fail:

No complications here. A fine article! If you have plans to take it to FAC I advise you to go to peer review first: there are a few very minor prose tweaks I haven't thought it necessary to raise for GAN but which will need doing before FAC. Please ping me if you take the article to PR.  Tim riley  talk    10:39, 17 July 2015 (UTC)
 * Thank you very much for your help, I have put up the article to PR as you advised, see here.&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 11:26, 17 July 2015 (UTC)
 * I'll be there in a day or two, and will see if I can press-gang some reinforcements.  Tim riley  talk    15:21, 17 July 2015 (UTC)