Talk:Meteorological history of Cyclone Leon–Eline/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 02:50, 20 January 2015 (UTC)


 * "Cyclone Leon–Eline in February 2000 was the third-longest tracked tropical cyclone in the South-West Indian Ocean" - Ever? On the history of the planet?! I'd add "on record" to end the sentence. :)
 * It says "tracked" :P The dinosaurs weren't tracking them. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 03:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC)


 * "Moving westward, the storm fluctuated in strength due to changes in the atmosphere." - Don't hold out on me--what kind of changes?!
 * Added :) ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 03:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC)


 * "On February 22, Eline made landfall about 80 km (50 mi) south of Beira, Mozambique near peak intensity, and quickly weakened over land." *No need for the comma after "intensity".
 * That comma is OUTTA HERE!!! ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 03:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC)


 * "The well-defined circulation moved across southern African, finally dissipating over eastern Namibia on February 29." - southern African?
 * Removed. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 03:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC)


 * "Most storms in the Mozambique Channel turn to the south, and the storm was one of only 5% of storms that struck southern Africa. Favorable conditions allowed the storm to maintain its identity over land." - this is awkwardly worded to me. Here's a suggestion, "Most storms in the Mozambique Channel turn to the south, ultimately missing land; however, upon landfall, Eline became one of 5% of recorded cyclones to strike southern Africa." or something like that.
 * I like it. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 03:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC)


 * Make sure all instances of wind duration have hyphens (ex. 1-minute, 10-minute as opposed to 1 minute and 10 minute).
 * Where does it mandate that they are hyphens? As long as the article is internally consistent, I thihnk that should be fine. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 03:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC)


 * "Overall, Cyclone Leon–Eline traveled over 11,000 km (6,800 mi) during its 29 day duration." - put a hyphen, dash, en dash, em dash, or whatever the hell they're called between "29" and "day".
 * Dashy dashy. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 03:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC)


 * "Associated convection, or thunderstorms, was initially sparse, and over the subsequent few days the system tracked west-southwestward without much development,[1] moving around a large ridge over northwestern Australia." - This is a loaded sentence.
 * I split my pants... errr.... sentence. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 03:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC)


 * "There was initially moderate wind shear in the region, although an anticyclone was developing aloft,[3] which allowed the convection was able to persist over the center and gradually develop outflow." - Huh?
 * I split it into two. Hope that works now. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 03:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC)


 * " Later that day, the storm bypassed Mauritius about 180 km (110 mi) to the northwest, although the small structure of the storm spared the island with the strongest winds." - 110mi is a good distance, why the "although"? I'd replace it with "with" while at the same time changing "spared" to "sparing" and the second "with the strongest winds" to "from the strongest winds".
 * Done as suggested. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 03:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC)


 * "After becoming a tropical cyclone, Eline was still encountering wind shear and dry air.[4] Despite these factors, the eye became better defined and the storm intensified, aided by more favorable upper-level conditions." - Were conditions unfavorable or not?
 * They became more favorable, switched. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 03:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC)


 * "Around that time, the cyclone made landfall on eastern Madagascar near Mahanoro; the local meteorological station was destroyed, which made the landfall intensity unknown." - Eh? The landfall intensity is known to the best of our ability (estimated). It might be exact, as in it wasn't measured, but it's still known.
 * Yea, true. Removed. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 03:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC)


 * "With warm waters and still maintaining a favorable upper level environment, the depression quickly re-intensified as convection increased." - Remove "still maintaining"
 * Gotcha. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 03:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC)


 * "Over a 24 hour period, the pressure dropped by 45 mbar (1.3 inHg), indicative of rapid deepening." - 24-hour.
 * Got it. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 03:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC)


 * It says the |chapter= parameter for reference 9 was ignored.

Will pass when these comments are addressed. :) TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 02:50, 20 January 2015 (UTC)
 * Passing. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 04:15, 20 January 2015 (UTC)