Talk:Miami (Manuel Riva song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 20:39, 6 September 2018 (UTC)


 * Grabbing for a review. Aoba47 (talk) 20:39, 6 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Lead and infobox
 * Add ALT text for the infobox image.


 * I am not sure that (Not to be confused with Mami (Alexandra Stan song).) is necessary. “Miami” and “Mami” are completely different words, and the two songs are released by different artists.
 * I think this is quite helpful, actually. I don't know if it's only me, but I confuse these two songs a lot, especially since they have similar names and Stan's a featured or lead artist on both of them.


 * I would make this part (released on 6 March 2018 by Roton and Forward Music Agency.) into its own sentence.


 * I would revise this sentence (It was written by Riva and Cristian Sorin Ochiu, while production was solely handled by Riva.) to something like the following (Riva produced the song, and wrote it with Cristian Sorin Ochiu).


 * I would revise this sentence (The latter took part in the songwriting camp Tabăra Internaţională de Muzică TIC (International Music Camp TIC) held in Romania in 2017, where further work on the song was completed.) to something like the following (Ochiu worked on the track during  the songwriting camp Tabăra Internaţională de Muzică TIC (International Music Camp TIC) held in Romania in 2017.) to be more concise.


 * For this sentence (A Latin-inspired track, "Miami" lyrically talks about freedom and expression.), I would use “emotonal expression” in the prose to make it clear.


 * This sentence is awkwardly constructed, and would benefit from a revision.


 * I do not understand what you mean by this (meant to underline the song's statement visually). I am assuming that every music video is meant to be a visual statment about the song.
 * ✅ Removed. Indeed, it applies for every music video, so it's superfluous to mention.


 * Background and release
 * I would revise this sentence (The track features guest vocals from Alexandra Stan, who had accepted the offer to collaborate after she was played the song in the summer of 2017.) to (The track features guest vocals from Alexandra Stan, who was played the song in the summer of 2017.) to be more concise.


 * I would make the quotation used in the beginning of the second paragraph into a block quote, or selectively use only parts ot it. Right now, it occupies multiple lines and it is too long to just use in the prose.
 * ✅ Made a paragraph out of it.


 * For this sentence (Musically, the song has been described as "laid-back" and Latin-inspired), clarify who is describing it this way.
 * ✅ I mentioned that it was described so by "music critics", as I think there is no need to name the publications specifically here.


 * I would make the part on the song’s release into its own paragraph.


 * Reception
 * Not much to add here. It would be nice if you could find more reviews, but I understand if you are unable to.
 * There aren't any other reviews for the song; again, I would be happy to have so much information for "Miami" like you had for this promotional single "Paper or Plastic" lol.


 * Music video
 * Again, I am not sure what is meant by this quote "complet[ing] the musical statement visually”.
 * ✅ Removed


 * For this sentence ( According to a reviewer, the characters "seem to be puppets to [the aforementioned] masked man, who we presume is Manuel Riva", with them also marching while carrying flags displaying Riva's logo.), please clarify the reviewer.


 * I am not sure what you mean by “emotional appearance”?
 * ✅ I removed "emotional", as I think it is enough without that word. He simplay commended her overall look and appearance in the video.


 * Credits and personal
 * The article should have a section for this.

Good work with the article. Once my comments are addressed, I will pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 06:36, 7 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Final comments
 * Thank you for the review. I believe I have adressed everything. Best; Cartoon network freak (talk) 08:18, 7 September 2018 (UTC)


 * Verdict
 * Wonderful job with the article as always. I always enjoy reading your song articles, and good luck with your current and future projects. Aoba47 (talk) 18:06, 7 September 2018 (UTC)