Talk:Michael Artiaga/GA1

GA Review
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Nominator:

Reviewer: Yeeno (talk · contribs) 16:35, 19 March 2024 (UTC)

I'll take a look at this over the coming days. Yee no  (talk) 16:35, 19 March 2024 (UTC)
 * Thank you for picking up this review, I appreciate it a lot 🙂  Johnson  524  02:56, 20 March 2024 (UTC)

Initial review, mostly of prose, will let you work on these in the meantime while I look at the rest. Looking good so far, let me know if you have any questions! Yee no  (talk) 06:04, 22 March 2024 (UTC)
 * Sorry for my tardiness in responding to these! Thank you for this in-depth review, and I hope you can look over my "not dones" to see what the best course of action is. To clarify, the "Not dones" are not "Nos", just things I wanted to discuss further, but wanted to make stand-out amid the "Dones". Again, thank you for your time and contributions to the page. Cheers!  Johnson  524  05:44, 27 March 2024 (UTC)
 * Apologies for all the pings, but I've completed the review. Since this is my first GA review, I'll ask for a second opinion to see if I missed anything. Feel free to address the remaining issues while we wait. Again, let me know if you have any questions or concerns! Yee no   (talk) 00:53, 31 March 2024 (UTC)
 * Thanks @Yeeno! Oh, is that a required rule you must get a second opinion on your first review? I'm also doing my first full review right now and was curious. Cheers!  Johnson  524  03:56, 1 April 2024 (UTC)
 * @Johnson524: It's not, but I thought it'd be helpful for both the article and me as the reviewer to get a second look at things. Yee no   (talk) 04:01, 1 April 2024 (UTC)
 * @Yeeno Just wanted to help as a second opinion, everything looks great. As a Tetris player, everything looks formatted well, no grammar issues present. Arconning (talk) 06:44, 8 April 2024 (UTC)
 * Hello everything including the second opinion has been completed in this review for a few days now, is there something more you would like me to do to the article before closing? Cheers!  Johnson  524  10:29, 12 April 2024 (UTC)
 * @Johnson524: There's still the last item in Tetris Career you might've missed, as I replied a bit late to that one. Otherwise everything looks good! Yee no   (talk) 23:33, 12 April 2024 (UTC)

Lead

 * the former of which Artiaga would become the Guinness World Record holder for the "Youngest Tetris World Champion" -> the former of which led him to set the Guinness World Record for the "Youngest Tetris World Champion"


 * only 13 years old -> 13 years old "Only" is one of those words listed at MOS:EDITORIAL, as it assumes something is exceptional; best leave that conclusion up to the reader


 * "with their father being a web developer" ->alongside their father, who was a web developer - clarifies the relationship between the previous activities and their father


 * only occasionally before ->occasionally - "before" isn't necessary given you are about to mention them pursuing the game further


 * 16-year-old Joseph Saelee's victory against the 37-year-old and previous champion Jonas Neubauer -> 16-year-old Joseph Saelee's victory against the 37-year-old reigning champion Jonas Neubauer (both in lead and body)


 * on YouTube in the 2018 CTWC ->in the 2018 CTWC - YouTube isn't really necessary in the lead

Tetris career

 * at their house or at their home can both be written as simply at home. Yee no   (talk) 22:26, 26 March 2024 (UTC)


 * and his brother taking the nickname "P1xelAndy" ->while his brother took the nickname "P1xelAndy" - consistent tense within the sentence


 * During this time in December 2019, Artiaga completed his first "maxout", a point in the game where the score becomes so high it no longer registers correctly on-screen, becoming the youngest person to do so. ->In December 2019, Artiaga became the youngest person to complete a "maxout", a point in the game where the score becomes so high it no longer registers correctly on-screen. - becoming the youngest person to do so implies he did it for the first time


 * Also, the New Yorker source describes a max-out score as "a six-digit total of 999,999, when the game stopped counting"; this citation could be added to the sentence to back up the explanation.


 * At 13 and 15 years old respectively, both Michael and Andrew qualified for the 2020 CTWC, with Michael scoring 1 million points in six games, making him the top seed in his double-elimination playoffs group. can be split into At 13 and 15 years old respectively, both Michael and Andrew qualified for the 2020 CTWC; Michael scored 1 million points in six games, making him the top seed in his double-elimination playoffs group.


 * In the sentence that comes after, the tense should be consistent: Michael would be the second-youngest competitor there, and the youngest to make it to the top eight.


 * competed against each other at their same house due to COVID-19 restrictions -> competed against each other at home due to COVID-19 restrictions


 * When quoting a sentence fragment at the end of a sentence and not an entire sentence, put the quotation mark before the period. So Michael remarked that the "great [thing] about being in the top two is that we both get great trophies." -> Michael remarked that the "great [thing] about being in the top two is that we both get great trophies". Yee no   (talk) 22:19, 26 March 2024 (UTC)


 * at the time he won seems redundant given the context.


 * Artiaga earned a Guinness World Record for becoming the "Youngest Tetris World Champion" ->Artiaga set a Guinness World Record for the "Youngest Tetris World Champion" - records are generally set, not earned


 * He further used the attention he gained from the championship win to sell merchandise and publicize his own tournament called "Classic Tetris Brawl" (CTB) - The sources don't say anything about him using the attention from his win; perhaps the CTB sentence could be moved back to the first paragraph, in line with the other events of 2019?
 * ❌ Hmm, this is kind of a tricky one for me. So it wasn't explicitly said, but the Guardian source mentioned the CTB in the list of things Artiaga's benefited from since his win, which is why I placed the line in this section and not with the other 2019 events. What do you think about moving the line to the 2019 events section, but mentioning his win made it more popular in this section? Or, if you're really concerned about the lack of explicitcy, we could take out the 'benefit' part all together? I'd like to keep it if possible though.  Johnson  524  05:44, 27 March 2024 (UTC)
 * @Johnson524: Sorry I missed this one! The way that sentence is phrased in the article really muddies the CTB's link with the championship win; does the CTB earn him money like the merch and tournament did, or is it related in the sense that it's a professional accomplishment? Given how neither of these are explicitly mentioned, I would really err on the side of caution before drawing conclusions that could border WP:SYNTH. My suggestion would be to move the CTB info to the 2019 paragraph and perhaps leave out the merch part. Yee no   (talk) 08:49, 1 April 2024 (UTC)
 * @Yeeno: Oops, yep, I totally forgot about this one too 😅 Should be ✅ now!  Johnson  524  11:50, 14 April 2024 (UTC)

Playing Style

 * Split the first sentence into two parts for clarity:
 * Early in his Tetris career, Artiaga adopted hypertapping, a playing technique which emphasizes vibrating the buttons rapidly over pressing them; the technique was first popularized by Saelee, who pioneered it in his winning 2018 CTWC tournament.
 * ✅ - but modified a little, what do you think?  Johnson  524  05:44, 27 March 2024 (UTC)
 * @Johnson524: As noted in MOS:;, semicolons are used to link two independent clauses (parts that can stand on their own as a sentence), hence my recommended wording above. I hope that makes sense! Yee no   (talk) 23:20, 30 March 2024 (UTC)


 * alongside drinking lots of water and enjoying the outside was mentioned in the context of the 2020 CTWC, don't think it would be particularly noteworthy for inclusion here.

Sourcing
I've run WP:IABOT on the article to add archive links to the references in case they go down. For future reference, you can run it by clicking "Fix dead links" in the "View history" tab.

No copyvios found using Earwig, the highest percentage were from the quotes which are all cited properly. Yee no  (talk) 22:35, 26 March 2024 (UTC)

Spot check on source 7 (Polygon) looks good. Yee no  (talk) 00:47, 31 March 2024 (UTC)

Issues

 * Unlike the majority of his competitors, Artiaga continued to utilize hypertapping as late as during the 2021 CTWC - could not find a mention of this in the source
 * ❌ So earlier in the Playing style section, it is established that Artiaga uses the hypertapping technique to play, at least for the 2020 CTWC. In the source for this line (citation 8) it states "Dog entered the 2021 CTWC as a defending champion. He made it to the Top 8 by knocking out players that were using a new playstyle called rolling, even winning a game that ended in a double 1.3 Million." If he was beating players using the new Rolling technique, that means he was still using the old hypertapping technique: or the source would have said 'he is one of many veteran competitors who has adopted the new Rolling technique' or something like that, like they wrote about for others. I think this cites this line, but let me know what you think.  Johnson  524  05:44, 27 March 2024 (UTC)
 * ✅ That makes sense, thanks for the explanation! Yee no   (talk) 19:28, 29 March 2024 (UTC)


 * After winning the 2020 CTWC, Artiaga remarked that the win would change his life for the better with support from all over the world motivating him. - can't seem to find where this is mentioned in the sources.
 * Oops, this comes from The Guardian (citation 4), but still doesn't exactly cite this claim so I modified it to fit, and added an inline citation.  Johnson  524  05:44, 27 March 2024 (UTC)
 * @Johnson524: I might be missing something, but I still can't find anything in the Guardian source about it being life-changing. Perhaps you were getting at him becoming known as the "13-year-old world champion"?
 * Maybe you could replace that sentence with something like this, which would also transition nicely into the next sentence:
 * After his 2020 CTWC victory, Artiaga remarked that, while he would "always go down as a 13-year-old world champion", he was motivated to win again at the next championship. Yee no   (talk) 23:31, 30 March 2024 (UTC)


 * Source 14 (rickey.org) is a blog and thus not WP:RS; can you get another source for this? — Preceding unsigned comment added by Yeeno (talk • contribs) 06:18, 22 March 2024 (UTC)
 * ❌ Oops, good catch! Without going to YouTube though, I unfortunately think this information has to be removed. There's not any other news articles about Artiaga even from this general time period I can find online to replace this. But idk, do you think YouTube could be OK to replace this?  Johnson  524  05:44, 27 March 2024 (UTC)
 * @Johnson524: Unfortunately, it would have to be removed, as WP:WEIGHT says that articles should represent views based on their coverage in reliable sources, and YouTube isn't exactly the most reliable source; otherwise we would have to include every single record posted on his YouTube channel, which wouldn't make sense. Yee no   (talk) 19:35, 29 March 2024 (UTC)
 * @Yeeno: You phrased that really well! I completely agree, the source has been removed. Is there anything else you'd like to see me do to the article at this time?  Johnson  524  03:49, 30 March 2024 (UTC)


 * Quick spot check on Source 5 (kids.guinnessworldrecords.com): All uses are relevant and discuss the topic, except the use on summer of 2019, can't find this mentioned in that source or the following NYT one. Yee no   (talk) 23:43, 30 March 2024 (UTC)

Competitive record

 * I'm not sure if the opening paragraph is necessary, as all article content has to pass WP:V anyways, so it would be expected that unsourced stats would not be included.


 * Stats sources look good. Yee no   (talk) 00:41, 31 March 2024 (UTC)