Talk:Michael Collins (astronaut)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Nova Crystallis (talk · contribs) 05:03, 2 August 2018 (UTC)

Reviewing later. Nova Crystallis  (Talk)  05:03, 2 August 2018 (UTC)


 * References (format)
 * For refs 4 and 54, what's the "H" for in the page numbers?
 * The page numbers Congress uses start with H. Not sure why.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * The portion of the Congressional Record that covers the House of Representatives is paginated as Hnnnnn; the portion that covers the Senate is Snnnnn. TJRC (talk) 22:53, 19 December 2018 (UTC)
 * I'm not sure if refs 7 and 12 are considered reliable enough.
 * For the Military.com reference, written by Bethanne Kelly Patrick, known by her moniker The Book Maven, has authored books. Military.com also has an editorial board, so I think it would be a RS for this. Kees08  (Talk)  
 * For the People reference, since it is about Kate Collins (an actress) and not Michael Collins, I think this would be an RS for that.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * Found a better reference, so the People.com citation has been removed.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * Exact title needed for ref 20.
 * Changed  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * Ref 25 is sometimes considered a SPS to other reviewers.
 * In the aerospace community we generally consider it a reliable source. However, in the presence of better sources, there is no reason to keep it. I replaced it w/ Reichl's book.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * free access needed for newspapers.com links.
 * Not sure that is necessary, from Template:Cite web "Links inserted with |url= are expected to be free to read by default."  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * IMDb is not reliable for most of the time, so consider finding alternatives.
 * Alternatives found.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * Ref 86 needs expansion.
 * Done  Kees08  (Talk)  


 * Pictures
 * No copyrighted images, almost all are either from NASA or are in public domain.


 * Lead
 * "Chambley-Bussieres Air Base, France" Sound better to replace comma with "in".
 * ...or just take out the location entirely, since there are links to airbases.
 * Took it out, since it is the lead and it is excessive detail  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * Try using other pronouns that aren't "he".
 * Done  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * "After retiring from NASA in 1970 he" Comma needed after 1970.
 * "A year later he" Comma needed after "later".
 * "He held this position until 1978 when" Comma needed after 1978.
 * "In 1980 he" Comma needed after 1980.
 * Done on all  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * "Collins resigned in 1985 to start his own business." In what?
 * Consulting firm, changed business to that  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * "He was married to Patricia Collins until her death in April 2014. They had three children together." Merge these two sentences.
 * Not sure how to do well, because regardless of her death they had three children together. Have a specific way in mind?  Kees08  (Talk)  


 * Childhood and education
 * "to U.S. Army Major General James Lawton Collins, who served in the army for 38 years." And who was his mother?
 * Unfortunately have not been able to find any information on that.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * "the family moved to Washington, D.C. where Collins attended St. Albans School, and graduated in 1948." Comma needed after D.C., and remove comma after "School".
 * Done  Kees08  (Talk)  


 * Military service
 * ", and was working for the Air Force service club." Remove comma or add a pronoun.
 * Removed comma  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * "They had a daughter, actress Kate Collins circa 1959." Why circa? There's a date inside her article...
 * It is unsourced. I have yet to find a reliable source for her exact date of birth.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * Removed circa since the book has the year.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * "He has logged approximately 5,000 hours flying time." At the end of his flying career?
 * Yeah, would you like it phrased differently? He could technically rack up more hours, but I suppose he won't at this point.  Kees08  (Talk)  


 * Space program
 * "EVA (spacewalk)" Link directly to EVA.
 * Redid all that, but done  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * "Collins received his first crew assignment," I think a colon is better than a comma here.
 * Agreed; done  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * "Gemini 7, on January 24, 1966" Remove comma.
 * Done  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * "Since Gemini 9 ran into problems" What problems?
 * Added that they were EVA problems.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * Link needed for Gemini 9.
 * Done  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * I think the mission patch is more important than one of the photos in the Apollo 11 section, but that's just my opinion.
 * The mission patch is already in the infobox  Kees08  (Talk)  


 * Post-NASA activities
 * Any highlights of Collins being the Assistant Secretary of State for Public Affairs?
 * Not that I am finding easily. I hope to write about how Nixon chose a man that could unite the world from his Apollo 11 flight (one article I read said Collins didn't see any 'US Go Home' signs). For a GA level of review though, I did not find enough information to put anything together.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * Also, the date he left the office is not mentioned in the prose.
 * Added the date he left office.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * "Collins retired from NASA in 1970," Comma not needed.
 * Done  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * "It is "generally regarded as the best account of what it is like to be an astronaut."" By whom?
 * Added  Kees08  (Talk)  


 * Legacy
 * "In the 2018 film First Man, he will be portrayed by Lukas Haas." By the time you fix this, it will be "was."
 * True, and done.  Kees08  (Talk)  

That should be it, for a GAN review at least. Nova Crystallis  (Talk)  05:09, 5 October 2018 (UTC)


 * Passing, but it'll need more work to get past GA status. Nova Crystallis   (Talk)  01:23, 22 October 2018 (UTC)