Talk:Michael Kenna (politician)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 02:24, 9 April 2020 (UTC)

Criteria
1. Prose ✅

2. Verifiability ✅

3. Depth of Coverage ✅

4. Neutral ✅

5. Stable ✅

6. Illustrations ✅

7. Miscellaneous ✅

Comments
1.
 * Wikilink the Democratic party in the lead, American political parties won't mean a whole lot of non-American users. Do so at the first mention of the Republicans, as well
 * Done
 * Wikilink Ward (electoral subdivision) via a piped link
 * Done
 * Should 1st Ward be capitalized, as it is referring to a specific political unit?
 * Upon further research, this is in fact the style in Chicago. Done.
 * " both natives of County Cork" - Can you rephrase this to indicate that his parents had moved to Chicago from Ireland? Natives in such a usage can also mean current residents.
 * I would personally assume that the parents lived in Chicago, but I have duly reworded it.
 * Wikilink masseur
 * Done
 * " and one of which was the 1st" - This is already implied, not sure if it's necessary or not
 * Removed
 * "300 men, up to 600 during elections" - Maybe change to "300 men, and up to 600 during elections"
 * Done
 * Wikilink saloon.
 * Done
 * "For the 1893 mayoral election Kenna" - Comma between election and Kenna
 * Done
 * Wikilink Chicago Tribune
 * Already done in the "Early life" section.
 * "the local GOP the names" - Use the full name of the Republican Party, non-American readers are less likely to know what the GOP is
 * Done
 * "It was found after the election that van Praag and Skakel had aided Gleason by giving the local GOP the names and addresses of hundreds of Kenna's registered voters, some of whom were deceased.[44]" - Can you elaborate more on what exactly this accomplished to give Gleason an advantage?
 * The Republicans then got those illegitimate names off the roll. Added.
 * Wiklink red light district
 * Done
 * "an avowed enemy of the duo" - Is the duo still Coughlin and Kenna? Maybe this should be more specific
 * Done
 * Wiklink brothel at the first mention
 * Done
 * "After the events of 1895 Kenna" - Comma between 1895 and Kenna
 * Done
 * "Starting in the late 1880s, a party would be held annually for "Lame Jimmy" --> " - " ... a party was held ..."
 * I reworded it differently.
 * "However, a confrontation between officers" - The officers fought each other?
 * Yes, one of them was drunk. I made it clear they were police officers.
 * Avoid contractions unless in a direct quote, they are used in at least one place in the article
 * I removed one in addition to the one discussed below.
 * "7th regiment armory" - Is this a proper place name? If so, it should be capitalized
 * Done
 * " it was under his orders and the duo's " Can this be rephrased some? It's a tad confusing.
 * Attempted reword
 * "After Prohibition was enacted The Workingman's" - Comma after enacted
 * Done
 * "Kenna, who had the book read to him by an assistant, complained that he doesn't appear in the first 20 pages." - did not, not doesn't. Again, watch for contractions.
 * Books exist eternally in the present, but I have duly removed the contraction.
 * "with the mafia" - Should Mafia be capitalized since you're referring to a specific group?
 * Perhaps "the mob" would be better since organized crime in general is referred to rather than a specific group, but I have left it as is for the time being.
 * UPDATE: Decided to replace it with "the mob".

2.
 * "] after a brief interval of Clark serving in that capacity." Citation needed
 * "Kenna, who had the book read to him by an assistant, complained that he doesn't appear in the first 20 pages." - Citation needed
 * "Here were two men of the people who rose to power not merely by brawn and self-assertiveness but also by acting as the very human friends of people in poverty and trouble. They fed the hungry and got jobs for the unemployed. They protected those in trouble with the law. In return, like the condottieri of the medieval cities, they demanded and obtained loyalty and obedience.[104] ... Can [reformers] meet the human needs which the blundering Bath and the Shrewd Hink served, and do so without the corruption that they practiced?[105]" - You're better off making this a page range with the last ref, and not placing a citation within the block quote
 * Done
 * "and would later serve as alderman of the 39th ward from 1965 to 1994, dying in 1999." - Citation needed
 * Cited and expanded.
 * "Professor Douglas O. Linder" - Is this figure a subject-matter expert in legal history? You use what seems to be a personal website for the history of one of the related trials.
 * AGF on print and paywalled sources, the sources I could access support the material cited.
 * Ref 103 is a page number with no author. We need the author.
 * Added author
 * "Wendt, Lloyd; Kogan, Herman (1971). Bosses in Lusty Chicago (a.k.a. Lords of the Levee). Bloomington, Indiana and Indianapolis, Indiana: Indiana University Press. ISBN 0-253-20109-8." - Edition needed since the date published is about 30 years after the original publishing of this book.
 * Added edition.
 * Another thing- "In 1991 allies of Mayor Richard M. Daley proposed a new redistricting map that renumbered much of the 1st Ward as the 42nd Ward at the request of businesses in the area, who felt that the 1st Ward had gained too much of a negative connotation. The 1st Ward was moved to West Town, where it remains to this day. As of 2019 the 42nd Ward alderman is Brendan Reilly and the 1st Ward alderman is Daniel La Spata." - Only the last sentence of this is supported by the citation given for the section.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.
 * The two-paragraph summary of Coughlin and Kenna's power and influence at the beginning of the political career seems out of place to me. To me, it would make more sense later in the article.
 * I intended it as somewhat a sort of "summary style", but have moved the first paragraph to "Early Career" and the second to "1st Ward".
 * "Kenna was a teetotaler" - Is this only a partial life thing, or was he a saloon keeper who didn't partake in his own supply?
 * Mostly a life thing. I think there might have been some comment on that given his profession, but I'll have to look that up some more.
 * The section "Subsequent history of the 1st ward" needs a refocus. It's on-topic to discuss the legacy of Kenna's political machine directly, it's off-topic to give a detailed history of the 70 years of the ward.
 * For instance "In 1991 allies of Mayor Richard M. Daley proposed a new redistricting map that renumbered much of the 1st ward as the 42nd ward at the request of businesses in the area, who felt that the 1st ward had gained too much of a negative connotation. The 1st ward was moved to West Town, where it remains to this day. As of 2019 the 42nd ward alderman is Brendan Reilly and the 1st ward alderman is Daniel La Spata.[113]" has no bearing on Kenna and should be ommitted entirely as off-topic.
 * Fair enough with the Roti stuff. I still feel that the reputation of the Ward starting with Kenna and Coughlin necessitating its eventual movement should be noted as a part of his legacy.
 * I have condensed and rearranged the section. – John M Wolfson (talk • contribs) 03:14, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks, it connects a lot more directly to Kenna now.

Placing on hold. There's some stuff to work on, but that's to be expected with an article of this length. Hog Farm (talk) 23:56, 9 April 2020 (UTC)


 * Thanks for looking at this. I took care of some stuff, and will do more during the weekend. – John M Wolfson (talk • contribs) 00:54, 10 April 2020 (UTC)

, I have dealt with all of the concerns you have given me in this GAR. Thanks for your feedback! – John M Wolfson (talk • contribs) 02:37, 13 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Passing