Talk:Michel Roux/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Cwmhiraeth (talk · contribs) 04:58, 1 September 2012 (UTC)

I am proposing to review this article and plan to start in the next couple of days. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 04:58, 1 September 2012 (UTC)

First reading
There are some complex sentences in the lead which would benefit from being divided into shorter sentences. The second sentence in the first paragraph is one of these. There are further confusing sentences in the section "Biography". I will mention a few but I think you should read the article through carefully trying to look at it from the perspective of someone unfamiliar with the restaurant business. Many of the sentences introduce too many different topics in one sentence.
 * "He became an apprentice to Camille Loyal in Belleville, working seventy hour weeks which included making up to sixty Galette des Rois over the course of three days for Epiphany."
 * "He would later recall that both people thought he was mad for travelling to England, and what he thought was the horrific state of English cooking at the time,[1] describing it as "the dark ages"." - What do you mean by "both people"?
 * "After the opening party, which was attended by celebrities such as Charlie Chaplin and Ava Gardner, Chaplin was reportedly shuttled across London every night for a week so he could eat there."
 * "The same rating for the Waterside Inn would follow in 1985, but Le Gavroche would go back down to two stars in 1993 and never regain them" - Regain what?

The sentence structure in the other sections after "Biography" is much better. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:00, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
 * I've made a copy edit to the biography section and should have fixed those points highlighted above. I've made modifications to make the chef-speak a bit easier - although I've had to add links where it would have taken too long to explain (sous chef for instance). Miyagawa   (talk)  09:45, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
 * I've taken the liberty of doing a bit more copyediting. If you don't like what I have done, please reverse it. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 12:09, 3 September 2012 (UTC)


 * I've changed Biography to Career (and I'll keep that in mind for future articles), and cut down the information relating to his second wife. It was a nice story, but unencyclopedic. Miyagawa   (talk)  16:14, 3 September 2012 (UTC)