Talk:Microbiology of oxygen minimum zones

Topics to write about
- who is living there? - ecology - biogeochemistry - anaerobic processes like methanogenesis Aeking104 (talk) 21:49, 9 October 2018 (UTC)

-formation -what can be found there (bacteria, viruses..)

Peer Review by Melissa Lee
Overview:
 * Cite your information!
 * There's a lot of good points here, but also a lot of claims that need evidence! Almost every sentence in the overview states a new fact, and needs to be backed up.


 * Categorizing information
 * Considering it is a section that is meant to introduce the topic, there's a lot of specific information that probably could be fit into other sections (ex. "Upwelling of nutrient-rich water leads to high productivity and labile organic matter..."; could probably be categorized into a section about formation!). That being said, there's a wide range of information that is mentioned, but it's also pretty specific, whereas the overview can be pretty general in statements. Typical location/depth could be described, common environmental factors, etc.


 * Linking information
 * There's also a lot of opportunity to be linking bigger topics to other Wikipedia pages (ex. heterotophs, nirtrate)!

Survival: -> I think what would be really beneficial for this section is possibly renaming it? It's unclear (at least to me) that it's referring to the survival of microrganisms in the region! Or maybe a little blurb setting up your section, before going into the specifics.
 * Denitrification
 * • Citations! Again, a lot of statements being made without evidence.
 * • I think the second paragraph could actually be the first thing in this section! It clears up the topic immediately, making it less confusing for anyone reading! It also can reduce the two references to 'denitrification' in the first paragraph!


 * Methanogenesis
 * • Grammar
 * • Try and be a bit more objective in the writing! Re: "It was thought that methanogenesis occurred.."; could be phrased as 'there are several theories that associate methanogenesis and OMZs, citations, etc etc'.


 * Sulfate Reduction
 * • The example of Chile and citation are great! But it's pretty specific, and can follow a more general statement.

Climate Change:


 * Breaking it down into smaller sections!
 * This is all written so well! A suggestion is to make this into subsections - possibly renaming the entire section as like "ecologial/social implications"! That way, you could explore and discuss other areas of interest that would affect the OMZ.

Overall, it's getting there! However, since it's a page focusing on microbiology, maybe there can be a section discussing the types of microorganisms present, as well as their abundance, seasonal variation, etc. Mellirific (talk) 05:59, 23 October 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review (Kathryn Choi)
Overview: This section was very concise and easy to read, but someone without aqueous chemistry background may find it difficult to follow, especially since there are no citations. Some suggestions:
 * Some grammar/typing errors found, proof-reading needed
 * Some of the sentences are kind of choppy; try to make the sentences flow together better (e.g. second sentence)
 * Include brief explanation of certain words or add links to other wiki pages (e.g. labile, upwelling, productivity, phyla, etc.)
 * Nitrate, nitrite, sulphate shouldn’t be capitalized

Survival: I like that the sub-sections are clearly divided because it makes it easier to find specific information. Each sub-section provides a good overview while keeping it concise. Citations are needed for “Denitrification”. Suggestions:
 * Rewording some phrases to make it easier for lay audiences (e.g. “other biogeochemical species are used in order of the electrochemical series…”)
 * The first paragraph under Denitrification may be better placed above the actual sub-section since it’s not only about denitrification
 * Under “Methanogenesis”, last sentence should be edited: use 1/6 instead of “a 6th” & add some commas/periods to break up the sentence

Climate Change: Overall, this section is really informative and again, concise and easy to read. I like that both short-term and long-term effects are discussed. There are some sentences that need to be edited (as a draft should). Suggestions:
 * Not sure why the sub-heading needs to be present
 * Some sentences are quite wordy, suggest breaking them into 2 sentences (e.g. second & third sentences)
 * “If the water your regular habitat sits in has oxygen concentrations lower than you can tolerate, you won’t want to live there anymore.” — this sentence does make sense but the sudden shift in pronouns makes the article suddenly more casual
 * Overall, link to more wiki articles or provide brief descriptions (e.g. bloom)

As a whole, I think this page is informative, concise, and easy to read. However, since the page is titled "Microbiology of OMZ", maybe shift the focus from marine chemistry to microbiology. This can be done by providing examples of what kind of microbes undergo denitrification, sulfate reduction, etc.

Chkathryn (talk) 23:43, 23 October 2018 (UTC)

Overview

 * Grammar
 * Citations?
 * link to other Wikipedia articles for a lot of the terms
 * Content is good, but I don’t see any description later in the article going into depths about the types of organisms
 * Doesn’t clearly talk about the importance of OMZs

Survival
I’m not sure why this section is called survival… maybe re-think the title

Denitrification

 * First paragraph doesn’t make sense, it’s really hard to follow
 * There is a wiki page for denitrification already, don’t need to explain it. Only need to talk about how it specifically relates to OMZs

Methanogenesis

 * Grammar
 * Link to other wiki articles (e.g. Ciliates)
 * Don’t mention a study, speak objectively without referring to a specific study

Sulfate Reduction

 * Good content
 * Perhaps consider rephrasing to not make it sound like you're talking about a hypothesis/results from one specific study...

Aerobic Mirobial Respiration

 * This doesn’t make sense where it is currently placed. This should be put maybe somewhere else, before talking about alternative sources

Oxygen Minimum Zones and Climate Change

 * This doesn’t need to be a subsection, it can just be one big heading.
 * More citations are necessary here, through all the paragraphs.
 * Grammar
 * Why is “Zero oxygen” in quotes? Is it 0? Is it not zero?
 * Probably shouldn’t say “reduction of oxygen,” as reduction is also a chemical process. Maybe say something like “decrease in oxygen”
 * Do not use “you”
 * Do not use phrases like “want” as the organisms you’re talking about do not have conscience
 * Rephrase the last paragraph so it does not seem as subjective/like you’re trying to push a certain narrative. Find a way to make this seem more objective.
 * There are a lot of really good points in this section, I just think some parts need to be re-phrased so it sounds more objective.

Overall, I’m not getting a sense of microbiology from this article. But you’re definitely on the right track, though I think some more time could be spent honing in on importance of the OMZs and the organisms which live there!

ElizabethAS96 (talk) 04:09, 24 October 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review (Lubin Li)
Overview I really enjoyed how it was easy to read. The terminology wasn't too in depth and everything was understandable. In my opinion it gave a solid overview of the OMZ. What i would suggest is maybe to think about if it needed the subheading of "Oxygen Minimum Zone" underneath the overview heading. People are already expecting something about the Oxygen Minimum Zone and it would be redundant to add the subheading unless you were going to add another subheading that was specifically talking about the microbiology.

There was also quite a bit of information that was presented which is a good thing. As you probably know however, the information that was presented needs to be given credit and there needs to be the original work that is cited as to not plagiarize as well as future readers can go to these references to further their research on the topic of Microbiology of Oxygen Minimum Zones.

Your group may also link out to certain concepts or organisms.

Survival Although I know this is just a rough draft, some future considerations could include the incorporations of some visuals. Some figures that may help with the understanding of the different chemical processes that are supposed to take the place of oxygen. Visuals of the pathways for each process is usually very beneficial for the understanding of what is happening. If none can be found, some photos of the process in these Oxygen Minimum Zones would be interesting to look at and be good for background knowledge. (You have already allocated slots for the photos but the selection of photos could be important, and ones that help with understanding should be prioritized).

Potentially the addition of examples of the separate microbes that take part in each process would be helpful if people would like to look into it more.

There is better usage of linking out in this section, I feel like the Denitrification section could also link out to "denitrification" or "nitrogen cycle"

Some minor grammatical and flow corrections could be made, but it is natural for the rough draft.

Climate Change The only thing I would suggest is possibly separating this section a little bit as it is quite a bit longer than the other sections to maybe keep a balanced page. It was informational and easy to read which is good, as well as had citations for information.

Luubie7 (talk) 04:45, 24 October 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review: Beth McCaffrey
Overview:

This paragraph was well written as it gives a clear and comprehensive summary of the OMZ. There are not enough reliable source citations in the overview paragraph. Adding links to other Wikipedia pages for key words would also be a useful addition. Survival:

Subheadings are well chosen to clearly organize the topics in this section. There needs to be a more explicit link between each subsection and the OMZ as it is currently unclear how some of these topics relate directly to the OMZ (for example, the word survival is never mentioned in this section, even though it is titled “Survival”). More detailed information could be added as at the moment this section seems like a cursory look at each topic. Links to other Wikipedia pages for key words would be a useful addition. References are needed for the “Denitrification” subsection. The first sentence in the “Denitrification” subsection could be made clearer as it is difficult to understand.

Climate Change:

Subsection “Oxygen Minimum Zones and Climate Change” is redundant and can be removed. This section is well written overall as well as being interesting and on topic. There could be specific examples of these climate change events occurring included in this section. This section is fairly diverse, and it seems like it would be possible to divide it into multiple sections and go more into detail about each topic. Mostly very good citations, some need to be added to the second paragraph.

As a Whole:

This page is off to a good start but most importantly needs more citations. Add more details on the “microbiology” side of the OMZ as it currently seems to lack information when it comes to what kinds of marine microbes are found there and their ecological roles. Beth Mcc (talk) 05:58, 24 October 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review by Shirley Chen
Overall
 * Great use of the acronym, OMZ. It makes the article more concise and easier to read
 * Could add some links to other pages
 * Could focus much more on marine microbes rather than the abiotic components of the environment
 * There are quite a few grammatical errors, and paragraphs could be improved by making the sentences less choppy

Overview - Oxygen Minimum Zones
 * “An Oxygen Minimum zones (OMZ)” - should be either singular or plural, not both
 * Reads like point form, try and use some more conjunction words
 * Since this is an overview, it could be improved by mentioning all the topics discussed. Right now it is missing points on climate change

Denitrification
 * Cite the information
 * Keep the capitalization of the nutrients consistent
 * Instead of focussing on the process of denitrification, could give some examples of the microbes that use this process and their unique biological mechanisms that allow them to perform denitrification

Methanogenesis
 * Some grammatical errors
 * Could vary the sentences so they don’t sound repetitive e.g. “Ciliates may also…” followed immediately by “Methanogens can also…”
 * Instead of “6th”, I think “sixth” would be more consistent
 * Good idea to include a picture!

Sulfate Reduction
 * Focus more on the marine microbes instead of the cycle, which can be linked to the sulfate reduction page

Aerobic Microbial Respiration
 * Could use more information
 * From the information in this section, not exactly sure of the purpose of this section; if aerobic organisms need oxygen to survive, how do they compete with other more adapted organisms in the OMZ?

Climate Change Shirley.Chen.27 (talk) 06:06, 24 October 2018 (UTC)
 * Since the entire article is supposed to be on the OMZ, the subheading “Oxygen Minimum Zones and Climate Change” seems to be redundant
 * Since the acronym “OMZ” is already established before, can just use that instead of writing it out
 * Include some links to other pages, for example, the pages on climate change, primary production, bloom, etc.
 * Not too clear what “zero oxygen” means - could add explanation or link to another relevant page
 * Second paragraph would benefit from citations
 * “Short term effects can be seen in fatal circumstances, of course, but…” - I believe taking out the “of course” would make it more objective (right now it sounds like you are telling the readers that what you said should be obvious to them, but in reality, it might not be)
 * “If the water your regular habitat sits in has oxygen concentrations lower than you can tolerate, you won’t want to live there anymore” - the use of personal pronouns are too personal
 * Overall good structure including the background and impacts on different scales
 * Could add some marine microbe examples

Peer Review by Alexis Llewellyn
Overall: - Very good start with good flow and organization of content. Headings are very well organized. Pay attention to length within these headings. - Needs a lot of proofreading and spelling/grammar checks. Watch out for consistency in terms of OMZ vs OMZs - is it the oxygen minimum zone, or oxygen minimum zones? - try to incorporate images/graphs/etc!!

Lead/Overview: - no need for the sub-heading in my opinion, because it is the only sub-heading and overview of your topic. - your overview is not necessarily a summary of the most important sections of your article. For example, you say "The most abundant phyla in OMZs are Proteobacteria, Bacteroidetes, Actinobacteria, and Planctomycetes.", yet there is no more mention of these organisms anywhere else (possibility of another heading). - need references for this section, even if it is an overview. You an re-cite these references once you reach the specific sections.

Survival: - the heading is not a good idea for the contents of the section - this should be renamed - additionally, I would explain before going into the specific sub-headings of this section - have an "overview" for the survival section - the last sub-heading "Aerobic Mirobial Respiration" does not make sense in this section. This should either be its own heading, and expand on it further, or be incorporated somewhere else. An option would be to add a "Microbes" section, and then talk both about the type of microbes in this region, as well as the processes they perform

Climate Change: - fix the wording of the first subheading: can potentially change it to "effect on climate change", or remove it completely - watch the choice of words that leads to bias/inaccuracy (ie: words like "you") - use consistency in writing OMZ

References: - make sure to make this its own heading - overall good, but definitely need to cite more as there are sections where the source is unclear

Alexis Llewellyn (talk) 09:09, 26 October 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review: Megan Fass
General/Overall: Well written, but with a lack of citations throughout. Please cite all your statements!

OMZ: no need for two headings. Avoid run on sentences! You can link all the chemicals to their respective pages. same with phyla. is OMZ already plural?

Survival: This section seems like it would be better served by breaking into main sections. Again, please break up sentences. Include images! for both processes it would become more clear.

Denitrification: I would flip the order of the two paragraphs.

Methanogenesis: good. Thank you for the citations. Can you define methanogens? Remember, wiki articles should be accessible to everyone.

Sulfate Reduction and Aerobic Microbial Resp. seem short. If you can't fill them out, maybe consolidate this section.

Climate Change: I think you can break this into a couple of sections. Can you add in specific examples of this happening in the world? I think that would add a lot to the impact of this section. Absolutely leave it at the end of the article.

Moved the content about the impacts of climate change
I've moved the content about the impacts of climate change to ocean deoxygenation because similar content was spread over three articles (here, at ocean deoxygenation and also at oxygen minimum zone. I am consolidating this information into one place now at ocean deoxygenation. Will later replace the paragraph that I've left behind with an excerpt from ocean deoxygenation. EMsmile (talk) 07:59, 5 July 2023 (UTC)