Talk:Middlesex (novel)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

I will be conducting this review. I've done an initial read-through and so far, it's in excellent shape. The article has obviously benefited from some thorough copy edits and reads very well. Perhaps more importantly, it appears to be well sourced and covers all the broad aspects of the article. I am going to go through the available sources in a second look through, but in the meantime, here are some initially comments, almost all of which will be easy to address. Please respond to each item line-by-line and I'll strike them as we go... —  Hun ter   Ka  hn  05:55, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

Lead:
 * "The novel's characters and events are loosely based on the author's life, including the 1967 Detroit riot, which he observed as a child." I personally don't feel like this sentence adequately sums up the autobiographical elements that played a part in the writing of this novel. Rather than one brief sentence focusing largely on the Detroit riot, I'd suggest something a bit more broad, describing how several elements of Eugenides' life parallels those of Callie. Maybe something like, "The novel's characters and events are loosely based on the author's life. Both Eugenides and the protagonist were raised in Detroit, came from a Greek family, and witnessed some of the same events, like the 1967 Detroit riots."
 * Done. Reworded per your suggestion. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Do you think it's worth including a sentence in the lead about how Eugenides was inspired to write this book? (The Memoirs of Herculine Barbin and all that?)
 * Done. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

Background and publication
 * "had to be capable of telling epic events in the third person and psychosexual events in the first person. It had to render the experience of a teenage girl and an adult man, or an adult male-identified hermaphrodite." In order to use a direct quote, you have to attribute in the sentence who said it. Obviously, it's Eugenides in this case, but you have to clarify that in the lead-in. Also, I'm not sure the first half of this quote (the half-sentence ending in "the first person") really has to be quoted. I'd suggest paraphrasing that part, and just using the quote on the sentence starting with "It had to render..."
 * Done. Paraphrased. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

Plot
 * Much like you include a cited reference to why the brother's name is "Chapter Eleven", can you add that the character "The Obscure Object" is a reference to the film That Obscure Object of Desire?
 * Added. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * "...first sexual experiences with both sexes" I'd suggest using "genders" for the latter word, to avoid redundancy with the word sex.
 * Reworded. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Do tractor, tradition and diplomat really need to be wikilinked, as per WP:OVERLINK?
 * Removed links. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Intersexed should be wikilinked in the first reference (the third paragraph), not in the second reference as it is now, right?
 * Done. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * There is a reference to "Milton's funeral", but not to his death, which seems sort of abrupt and confusing. I would suggest adding some reference to his death in this last paragraph.
 * Added reference to his death. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

Autobiographical elements
 * "Eugenides named the bar in Middlesex Zebra Room as a "secret code of paying homage to my grandparents and my parents"." Maybe I'm just missing something here, but how exactly does calling the bar the Zebra Room serve this function?
 * Eugenides' grandfather owned a bar called the Zebra Room. I've added this to the article. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * "Both Eugenides and the narrator have lived on a street called Middlesex Boulevard. Both Eugenides and the narrator..." Both of these sentences start with "Both Eugenides and the narrator..." which seems a bit redundant. Could you reword one of them?
 * Reworded the second sentence. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * "hippie phases" I don't believe you're supposed to use quotes unless it's something you can attribute to somebody else. Either change it to "who undergoes what Eugenides called "hippie phrases"" or just paraphrase it.
 * Changed to "who undergoes what Eugenides called "hippie phrases"". Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * This is a minor point, but can you add context to what Salon is? All it takes is "...in an interview with the online magazine Salon..."
 * Context added. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

Style
 * "The depiction of Stephanides' relationship with the blacks, as well as America's race issues, have been criticized as having a "preachy and nervous" tone." Since the plot summary doesn't make any mention of these relationships, I think maybe an example or two would be warranted here, if the source includes any...
 * The source doesn't include any, and I couldn't find much about America's race issues (except for the 1967 Detroit riots) in my searches for sources. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * "Using modern pop music and Greek myths allusions, Eugenides depicts how family characteristics and idiosyncrasies are passed on from one generation to the next. He also employs leitmotifs to depict how chance affects the family's way of life." Again, I think examples here would serve the article well...
 * The source doesn't give examples so I'm not sure what to do here. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * "...because the coming-of-age story is revealed to be the incorrect one." I'm not sure I understand this statement.
 * I added: "After being nurtured as a woman, Cal must instead learn to become a man" after that statement. Is that better? Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

Themes
 * "...becoming a midwife of her new life." This strikes me as somewhat odd wording. Do you feel this is the best way to phrase this?
 * I combined the next sentence with this one: "To become a male, Callie peregrinates across the United States and becoming a midwife of her new life by teaching herself to forget what she has learned as a female." I'm not sure if its the best way to phrase this but the source says "Yet, when Callie realises that Luce's treatment will denude her of her "bulb" and all erotic feeling, she decides to become the midwife of her own second birth. To become Cal, Callie undertakes a brutal journey across America, in which she is forced to unlearn everything she has learnt in the female sphere." Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * "ethnic reconciliation" Again, quote fragments shouldn't be used unless they are attributed to somebody directly. I know this isn't a major point, but it's the correct way to use quotes.
 * Corrected. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Can you add some context to what Newsnight is?
 * Done. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * "According to Sonja Lyubomirsky..." This needs some context too. Who is Sonja Lyubomirsky?
 * Context added. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

Reception
 * "Critics were dissatisfied with the scope of the novel." Wouldn't it be more fair and accurate to say "Some critics were..."?
 * Revised using your wording. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * "Andrew O'Hehir of Salon.com..." Salon is already wikilinked above. Also, for consistency sake, you should stick to either Salon or Salon.com.
 * Unlinked and revised to Salon. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * The last subcategory here is titled " Great American Novel and comparison with The Virgin Suicides". Yet in both cases, you only have one author weighing in on both of these topics (Tim Morris on the Great American Novel, David Gates on the Virgin Suicides comparisons). This section would be so much strong if you could add at least one more writer to each. Can you add this?
 * Expanded with several more examples. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
 * I'd still perfer if somebody besides Gates was comparing it to The Virgin Suicides but I won't hold up the GAN for it... —  Hun ter   Ka  hn  14:19, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
 * I will further expand this section by the end of this week. Cunard (talk) 08:30, 16 April 2010 (UTC)
 * I have expanded the paragraph about The Virgin Suicides to include the opinions of several more reviewers. Cunard (talk) 06:59, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

Honors and adaptation
 * You say here it became a best-seller. Do you have any information on how many copies sold or how much money it made?
 * I have some information about it appearing on best selling lists in the "Background and publication" section. The copies sold (3 million since 2002) is also in that section. Should they be moved to this section? Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Nah, it's OK. —  Hun ter   Ka  hn  14:19, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Wikilinks to The Oprah Winfrey Show and Oprah's Book Club should be added in here.
 * Done, though I am unsure they should be there since removed one of the links as overlinking. However, he may be wrong, though, since WP:REPEATLINK permits such links. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
 * I don't think it's overlinking, but I suppose you could drop the one for the show if you're concerned about it. —  Hun ter   Ka  hn  14:19, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Any idea when the drama series will air? If so, please add this in.
 * None of the sources lists a date. I did searches for sources, such as this one, and have been unable to find any articles newer than August 2009 about the proposed drama series. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

Misc
 * Do you think it's worth adding the image of Jeffrey Eugenides into this article somewhere? I'll leave that call to you, since the available picture of him is not o the best quality...
 * I'm probably going to leave the photo of Jeffrey Eugenides out since the quality is poor and will not add much to the article. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

I'll place this on hold for now. I expect to come back with some more comments after I do a thorough look through the sources, but I'd encourage you to make changes based on my above comments in the meantime. Thanks! —  Hun ter   Ka  hn  05:55, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Thank you for the detailed review! I will address your concerns right now. Cunard (talk) 05:58, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
 * I have revised the article per your suggestions. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
 * The sources seem to be in order, so I won't hold this up any further. That's a pass. Congrats! —  Hun ter   Ka  hn  04:43, 18 April 2010 (UTC)