Talk:Mike Scarry/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 10:18, 12 April 2020 (UTC)

Comments That's it for a first run. On hold. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 11:05, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
 * No image, not even a fair use one?
 * It starts by noting he was called "Mo" but the article is at Mike?
 * Also not seeing Mo mentioned or referenced anywhere else.
 * "was a star on" not particularly encyclopedic tone.
 * " in Waynesburg, Pennsylvania and" comma before and.
 * Put (NFL), (AAFC) etc after the first expanded version before using the abbreviations.
 * " from pro football " etc professional.
 * "He got his first professional coaching job in 1966 with the NFL's Washington Redskins, the following year," yuck, perhaps "The following year he started his first professional coaching job with the NFL's Washington Redskins"
 * "He stayed with the Dolphins for 15 seasons until his retirement; during his Dolphins career, the team won two Super Bowls. " could easily reduce: "He stayed with the Dolphins for 15 seasons, during which the team won two Super Bowls, until his retirement."
 * "he was a star on his" tone.
 * Link jargon like "left tackle", "center", forward passer" etc etc.
 * "new All-America Football Conference.[9]" -> "new All-America Football Conference (AAFC).[9]" etc.
 * "was a workhorse who " tone again.
 * "lining up on the offensive and defensive lines" lining lines... repetitive.
 * Who or what are "Red Cats "?
 * "In his second year in 1949" -> "In 1949, his  second year, ..."
 * "4–5–1 record" what does this mean? I've often seen pop-up text used here for W-L-D or whatever.
 * "as an assistant at" assistant to what?
 * "Browns star quarterback" tone.
 * "to Fort Myers, Florida in " comma after Fl.
 * Issues addressed sans image. I was able to find a decent fair use one if it's a major issue; unfortunately he retired right before the Bowman football cards got going, which is my usual go-to for this era. (I think i can get access to the Western Reserve archives and get a PD image through them, though that'll take an extra day or two if I can.) Wizardman  23:19, 13 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Not a deal breaker nor a requirement at all. If you could add an image, so much the better, but I'm passing this as it stands.  Cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 07:52, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks! To follow up on the picture in case you were curious, got a hold of the Western Reserve Yearbooks for the couple years in question, and he's listed in the "camera shy" section so no picture. Oh well, I tried. Wizardman  01:58, 27 April 2020 (UTC)
 * No worries, thanks for the follow-up. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 07:03, 27 April 2020 (UTC)