Talk:Military career of Ian Smith/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Anotherclown (talk · contribs) 09:18, 28 April 2013 (UTC)

Progression

 * Version of the article when originally reviewed:
 * Version of the article when review was closed:

Technical review

 * Citations: The Citation Check tool reveals a few issues with reference consolidation:
 * Multiple references contain the same content
 * Multiple references contain the same content
 * berlyn6771 Multiple references are using the same name
 * All fixed —Cliftonian (talk) 11:21, 28 April 2013 (UTC)


 * Disambiguations: no dab links (no action required).
 * Linkrot: external links check out (no action required).
 * Alt text: Images all lack alt text so you might consider adding it (suggestion only - not a GA criteria).
 * Done —Cliftonian (talk) 11:21, 28 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Copyright violations: The Earwig Tool reveals no issues (no action required).
 * Duplicate links: one duplicate which should be removed per WP:REPEATLINK:
 * Gwelo
 * fixed —Cliftonian (talk)</b></b> 11:21, 28 April 2013 (UTC)

Criteria

 * It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * Presentation of names of RAF squadrons seems inconsistent with other articles. I believe we generally follow the format "No. X Squadron RAF" per the articles on these units.
 * This is little informal: "were very keen to put on uniform", perhaps consider something like "keen to enlist"?
 * " It was moved back to the Western Desert Campaign in North Africa...", consider instead something like "It was again committed to the Western Desert Campaign in North Africa..."
 * "... causing Smith to lose control of the plane and to crash...", try "... causing Smith to lose control of the plane and crash."
 * "...The unit was at this time..." → "...At this time the unit was..."
 * "... led a strafing raid into a large railway yard..." → "... led a strafing raid against a large railway yard..."
 * "...and his aeroplane was hit by enemy flak...", consider "aircraft" instead.
 * "...He shouted over the radio to the other RAF pilots...", → "...He shouted over the radio to the other pilots..."
 * "... hoping to ditch his plane in the sea..." → "...hoping to ditch in the sea..."
 * "... Realising that his fighter..." → "...Realising his fighter..."
 * "... Smith decided to jump out..." consider "bale out" instead.
 * "...In her 1978 biography of Smith, Phillippa Berlyn writes...", should just be "Berlyn" rm first name at subsequent uses after full introduction at first use IAW WP:SURNAME
 * Repetitive: "Smith's bodily injuries in the 1943 plane crash made him permanently unable to sit for long periods without pain...", already mentioned the injuries were the result of a crash in 1943. Consider instead: "Smith's injuries also made him permanently unable to sit for long periods without pain..."
 * Also informal: "His years as an RAF flyboy...", consider instead "His years as an RAF pilot..."
 * Okay, all suggestions put in (thanks for these, all good calls) <b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">—<b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">Cliftonian</b> <b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">(talk)</b></b> 11:21, 28 April 2013 (UTC)


 * It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * All major points cited using WP:RS.
 * Footnote 1 needs a reference.
 * OK <b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">—<b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">Cliftonian</b> <b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">(talk)</b></b> 11:21, 28 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Citation 45 Wood 2008, pp. 1–8 - should this be Wood 2005?
 * No, error on my part <b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">—<b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">Cliftonian</b> <b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">(talk)</b></b> 11:21, 28 April 2013 (UTC)
 * A few of the references use lower case. These should use title case.
 * OK <b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">—<b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">Cliftonian</b> <b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">(talk)</b></b> 11:21, 28 April 2013 (UTC)
 * ISBNs are presented inconsistently as some have hypthens and others don't.
 * OK <b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">—<b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">Cliftonian</b> <b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">(talk)</b></b> 11:21, 28 April 2013 (UTC)
 * No issues with OR.


 * It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * Most major points seem to be covered without going into undue detail.


 * It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * a (fair representation): b (all significant views):
 * No issues here.


 * It is stable.
 * No edit wars etc.:
 * No issues here.


 * It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
 * a (tagged and captioned): b (Is illustrated with appropriate images):  c (non-free images have fair use rationales):  d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain:
 * Images used are either licensed or in the public domain and seem appropriate for the article.
 * Wonder if there are any PD photos of Smith that could be included in the article?
 * There is a wartime photo of him in his RAF uniform in The Quiet Man that I think is PD; I will see if I can get it scanned for the infobox. For now I have put a 1990 picture of him in the last section of the article. <b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">—<b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">Cliftonian</b> <b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">(talk)</b></b> 11:21, 28 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Sounds promising. The one you have will do for now though. Anotherclown (talk) 10:52, 29 April 2013 (UTC)


 * Overall:
 * a Pass/Fail:
 * Looks quite good, just needs a bit of a copyedit. Anotherclown (talk) 10:43, 28 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Thank you very much for the very quick and helpful review. I hope I have rectified satisfactorily all the issues above. Thanks and have a great rest of the weekend! <b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">—<b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">Cliftonian</b> <b style="color:white; background:darkgreen">(talk)</b></b> 11:21, 28 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Those changes look fine. Have passed the review now. Anotherclown (talk) 10:52, 29 April 2013 (UTC)