Talk:Mind Over Murder/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer:  That Ole Cheesy Dude  ( Talk to the hand! ) 23:47, 28 June 2011 (UTC)

I think this article was nominated a bit too soon, it will get there, it's near, but it needs a lot of work before it can be passed. I was going to put this on hold, but I think judging by the amount of faults I've managed to find (and there are probably a few more) I'm going to fail this for it to be re-nominated at a later date once a little more work has been put into it. I hope you don't mind. :/


 * Specific
 * "placed on house arrest" I think the term is placed under...
 * "has bought beer" has brought beer?
 * "starts a blaze" a fire is better and simpler
 * "plans, programming machine to go" programming the machine
 * "not noticing the bar is burning." Doesn't make grammatical sense.
 * "As they try to escape the stairs" Needs a comma between escape and the, it means a completely different thing otherwise.
 * The first sentence of production doesn't make much sense to me.
 * Second Production sentence... why is it suggested that Peter Shin is more than one person? Peter Shin (who have been...) acted as supervising directors...?
 * There is an unneeded extra space between para. 1 and 2.
 * "episode was derifrom 1930s ved and 1940s" Ummm... has this page been vandalized at some point? was derived from 1930s and 1940s...
 * "he goes up the stairs where Abraham Lincoln is he then grabs" Comma needed! Punctuation is poor in this article.
 * "but instead of him he shoots his hat which makes a hole through it." Sloppy writing.
 * "One of these comes when" What does that mean?
 * "responds by asking her to kill her" Again... what?
 * "to a news event from the time the episode aired." Which news event? Why isn't this clarified?
 * "artical" A quick comb-over would have spotted this sort of grave grammatical mistake. Needs changing to article.
 * 55/100 should be 55%
 * tv.Yahoo isn't really a very reliable source.


 * General
 * Cultural references section reads a little like a trivia section, but I don't suppose it's that bad.
 * Does this article really need an image of Abraham Lincoln?


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * Needs a lot of work in that department, found prose and MoS issues. Grammar is poor in some areas.
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): (citations to reliable sources):  (OR):
 * Pretty good overall, just the one slightly unreliable ref.
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): (focused):
 * Could do with a little beefing up here and there. Try expanding the Reception section.
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * Well done in that department.
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * Perfic'.
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * Comments above.
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail: