Talk:Mirkhvand/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 19:40, 21 October 2021 (UTC)

I'll be taking a look at this! —  Ghost River  19:40, 21 October 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lede

 * This comment goes for the rest of the article as well: is there a reason why we have c. and r. abbreviations, but "died" is written out fully instead of just "d."?
 * Not for any particular reason other than there are those fancy/practical templates (I think that's what they're called?) for circa and reigned. --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:03, 21 October 2021 (UTC)


 * Considering the original title of the Rawżat aṣ-ṣafā is italicized and not in quotes, I believe that the translation should follow that format as well (also applicable in the body)

Life

 * Change parentheses to comma after "family of sayyids"
 * The WL around "shrine" feels MOS:EASTEREGGy to me, but I've gone back and forth about how to fix it in a way that doesn't feel repetitive.
 * "in the same place as his father; the shrine of Baha al-Din Umar Jaghara'i." "in the sthrine of Baha al-Din Umar Jagahara'i, the same place as his father."
 * "Mirkhvand's daughter's son" "Mirkhvand's grandson"
 * The reason I wrote "Mirkhvand's daughter's son" is because that is what is emphasised in the source. Back then it mattered who your father was and who his father was. Maternal descent was less important. --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:00, 21 October 2021 (UTC)


 * See above note on italics vs quotes

Rawżat aṣ-ṣafāʾ

 * "By the time of Mirkhvand's death, volume seven and the epilogue were incomplete. They were later completed by Khvandamir." "The final volume and the epilogue were incomplete at the time of Mirkhvand's death, and were later completed by Khvandamir."
 * Semicolon to comma after "by three other distinguished historians"
 * Semicolon is used in these cases in GA articles as well as sources. Imho it is currently fine. --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:27, 21 October 2021 (UTC)


 * "There exists hundreds" "There exist hundreds"
 * "was used much" "was frequently used"
 * No parentheses around "incomplete"

General comments

 * Images are public domain and relevant
 * No stability concerns in the revision history
 * Copyvio score looks good

Putting on hold now to allow nominator to address comments. Feel free to ping me with questions. —  Ghost River  21:46, 21 October 2021 (UTC)