Talk:Miss Malini/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Numerounovedant (talk · contribs) 06:03, 17 May 2017 (UTC)

Grabbing thus as planned. Numerounovedant  Talk  06:04, 17 May 2017 (UTC)
 * I am really sorry, but I have been caught up in my semester exams won't be able to put up comments for a couple of days . I'll try take a look before the weekend ends. Numerounovedant   Talk  23:27, 18 May 2017 (UTC)
 * It's okay, I'll wait. Besides, the weekends begin tomorrow. -- Kailash29792   (talk)  04:44, 19 May 2017 (UTC)
 * , any comment? -- Kailash29792   (talk)  12:15, 21 May 2017 (UTC)


 * I went through it once Kailash, I'll put up comments tonight. Numerounovedant   Talk  12:48, 21 May 2017 (UTC)
 * Lede
 * I am not sure if it's an improvement, but i really think that incase of both the roela and actors being discussed in the lead, i prefer if tge actors appear alongside their roles and the description to make things more clear. The current version somehow feels broken, and i think the other version would do a better job introducing both the characers and the actors.
 * Not sure if the "X befriends Y and does A" structure works best. These are unrelated events and putting them together might not be the best choice.
 * I have hopefully resolved both these comments. Let me or Kailash know if there is anything else. Thanks. —  Ssven2  Looking at you, kid 17:29, 26 May 2017 (UTC)


 * Not sure what subtle ridicule is.
 * Randor Guy states, "Miss Malini made gentle fun of the many aspects of life in Madras during the Second World War years (1939-1945) — shortage of commodities, high prices, social mores, high fashion living and preferences".


 * "Miss Malini marked Narayan's earliest use of story elements that would recur in some of his later novels." - I am curious, what elements? Maybe a word of two?
 * All are listed in "themes". You may cherrypick anything you find desirable. Kailash29792   (talk)  03:38, 23 May 2017 (UTC)


 * It might not be best choice in the following sentence, although the previous sentence talks about "elements" in plural, it'll be better if you simply say that "The film was adopted...".
 * I use "elements" in cases where the whole story was not adapted into another story, but only in parts. Kailash29792   (talk)  03:38, 23 May 2017 (UTC)


 * I'd rather have the years of the both the Hindi and Tamil adaptations be mentioned in the same fashion.
 * The 1972 Tamil film is titled Mr. Sampat, sharing its name with the 1952 Hindi film. I did not want to use one name twice in the same sentence. What would you suggest? Kailash29792   (talk)  03:38, 23 May 2017 (UTC)

This was nit-picky but I'd rather lay it all out when it comes to lead. Moving forward. Numerounovedant  Talk  16:39, 22 May 2017 (UTC)


 * Plot and cast
 * "she and Kala Mandhiram become prosperous" - Can you think of a better way of putting this?
 * You might want to make better use of conjunctions in the sentence with the being put of the work and setting up a new company bits.
 * "Sampath installs himself as general manager" - appoints?
 * "but its resources are soon squandered by Sampath and it fails under a weight of debt and disgrace." - fails under?
 * De-italicise "Kala Mandhiram".
 * All plot details are over here. Please use this to conduct a source review, and suggest how I can reword accordingly. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Kailash29792 (talk • contribs)
 * , I'm back from travel. Can we resume the GA review? Can you please do a review of the plot after reading the sources in the section? -- Kailash29792   (talk)  09:58, 29 May 2017 (UTC)
 * This section reads a lot better now. Numerounovedant   Talk  16:37, 30 May 2017 (UTC)


 * Production
 * "It was also the only time he wrote a screenplay for a film that was released." - You could say that "It is the only screenplay written by Narayan that was successfully adapted into a feature film", as commands a better cause-effect relationship.
 * ✅ both in lead and production sections. -- Kailash29792   (talk)  03:38, 23 May 2017 (UTC)


 * "produced the film under that banner" - the studio's banner" would read better, "that" sounds vague.
 * ✅ As asked. —  Ssven2  Looking at you, kid 17:22, 26 May 2017 (UTC)


 * Was Subbu's association with the project a later event? After it was on picked up for production?
 * What do you mean by "cked up"? I don't think Subbu was so late to join the film. I remember sharing some details with you here. Kailash29792   (talk)  03:38, 23 May 2017 (UTC)


 * "as Malini's friend Sundari" - as "her" friend would work better.
 * ✅ Kailash29792   (talk)  03:38, 23 May 2017 (UTC)


 * Are you sure that linking Javar Seetharaman instead of N. Seetharaman is the right choice?
 * Same with Ganesan.
 * Yes, it typically works that way, to avoid piping. -- Kailash29792   (talk)  03:38, 23 May 2017 (UTC)
 * I don't know, I feel that piping their birth names is better choice here as 1. They lead to the same page, and 2. The birth names occur before the stage names (that's what I assume they are) in the sentence. Numerounovedant   Talk  06:00, 23 May 2017 (UTC)
 * I prefer to disagree since articles like Chandralekha and Mughal-e-Azam have passed with the piping like this. Any other comment? -- Kailash29792   (talk)  15:42, 24 May 2017 (UTC)

Going through the rest. Numerounovedant  Talk  17:00, 22 May 2017 (UTC)


 * Themes and soundtrack
 * "R.K. Narayan: The Early Years notes that the" - noted.
 * "stated" in the next use. Numerounovedant   Talk  17:07, 22 May 2017 (UTC)
 * ✅ Kailash29792   (talk)  03:38, 23 May 2017 (UTC)

Kailash, just let me know how you feel about some of the remaining comments, and then we can move forward. Meanwhile, I'll think of some suggestions wherever​ you requested. Numerounovedant  Talk  06:24, 26 May 2017 (UTC)
 * Reception
 * I am not too sure about the opening sentence, the transition from intellectuals to critics is rather awkward.
 * the critics sentence is backed by this source which says, "Critics and crowds consider his portrayal of the suave villain perhaps the best for such a character in Tamil and even Indian cinema." This source is for the intellectuals part. Kailash29792   (talk)  04:38, 31 May 2017 (UTC)

I'll give you a while for this. Numerounovedant  Talk  16:30, 30 May 2017 (UTC)
 * You might want to rework the section here to avoid list-like progression. Try incorporating quotes more naturally into text, arranging the reviews thematically may help as well.
 * I have made a few tweaks to the reception section to give it a more better flow. Hope it looks better. Thanks. —  Ssven2  Looking at you, kid 07:06, 5 June 2017 (UTC)

I'll go through it again tonight, but it looks mostly GA ready to me. Numerounovedant  Talk  12:43, 6 June 2017 (UTC) Pass, good work guys. Numerounovedant  Talk  08:19, 7 June 2017 (UTC)
 * Final Comments